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HENRYK :  SIENKIEWICZ 
AUTHOR  OF  "QUO  VADISl 


'!■■■:  j     -     '    ■" 


4 


IN    VAIN 


IN    VA  I  N 


BY 

HENRYK    SIENKIEWICZ 

Author  of 

QUO  VADIS,"  "WITH   FIRE  AND  SWORD,"  "THE  DELUGE," 

"PAN   MICHAEL,"   "  HANIA,"   ETC. 


TRANSLATED  FROM  THE  POLISH 

BY 

JEREMIAH   CURTIN 


% 


BOSTON 

LITTLE,  BROWN,  AND   COMPANY 

1899 


PRESERVATION 
COPY  ADDED 
ORIGINAL  TO  BE 
RETAINED 

JUN28  1994 


Copyright,  1899, 
By  Jeremiah  Curtin. 


A  11  rights  rt served. 


SUntotrstts  ISrtss: 
John  Wilson  and  Son,  Cambridge,  U.S.A. 


?&  7/S£ 

ttftttJ 


INTRODUCTORY. 

"  In  Vain,"  the  first  literary  work  of  Sienkie- 
wicz,  was  written  before  he  had  passed  the  eigh- 
teenth year  of  his  life  and  while  he  was  studying 
at  Warsaw. 

Though  not  included  in  his  collected  works 
by  the  author,  this  book  will  be  received  with 
much  favor;  of  this  I  feel  certain. 

The  first  book  of  the  man  who  wrote  "  With 
Fire  and  Sword  "  and  "  Quo  Vadis  "  will  interest 
those  of  his  admirers  who  live  in  America  and 
the  British  Empire.  These  people  are  counted 
at  present  by  millions. 

This  volume  contains  pictures  of  student  life 
drawn  by  a  student  who  saw  the  life  which  he 
describes  in  the  following  pages.  This  student 
was  a  person  of  exceptional  power  and  excep- 
tional qualities,  hence  the  value  of  that  which 
he  gives  us. 

JEREMIAH   CURTIN. 

Jerusalem,  Palestine, 
March  8,  1899. 


95300 


OF  THE 

UNIVERSITY 


IN  VAIN 

9 

CHAPTER    I 

"And  this  is  Kieff!" 

Thus  spoke  to  himself  a  young  man  named 
Yosef  Shvarts,  on  entering  the  ancient  city, 
when,  roused  by  toll-gate  formalities,  he  saw 
himself  unexpectedly  among  buildings  and 
streets. 

The  heart  quivered  in  him  joyfully.  He 
was  young,  he  was  rushing  forward  to  life ;  and 
so  he  drew  into  his  large  lungs  as  much  fresh 
air  as  he  could  find  place  for,  and  repeated 
with  a  gladsome  smile,  — 

"And  this  is  Kieff!" 

The  Jew's  covered  wagon  rolled  forward,  jolt- 
ing along  on  the  prominent  pavement  stones. 
It  was  painful  to  Shvarts  to  sit  under  the  canvas, 
so  he  directed  the  Jew  to  turn  to  the  nearest 
inn,  while  he  himself  walked  along  by  the  side 
of  the  wagon. 

i 


2  hi  Vain 

Torrents  of  people,  as  is  usual  in  a  city,  were 
moving  in  various  directions ;  shops  were  glit- 
tering with  a  show  of  wares ;  carriages  were 
passing  one  after  another ;  merchants,  generals, 
soldiers,  beggars,  monks  pushed  along  before 
the  eyes  of  the  young  man. 

It  was  market-day,  so  the  city  had  taken 
on  the  typical  complexion  of  gatherings  of 
that  sort.  There  was  nothing  unconsidered 
there;  no  movement,  no  word  seemed  to  be 
wasted.  The  merchant  was  going  to  his 
traffic,  the  official  to  his  office,  the  criminal 
to  deceit,  —  all  were  hastening  on  with  some 
well-defined  object;  all  pushed  life  forward, 
thinking  of  the  morrow,  hastening  toward 
something.  Above  that  uproar  and  move- 
ment was  a  burning  atmosphere,  and  the  sun 
was  reflected  in  the  gleaming  panes  of  great 
edifices  with  just  the  same  intensity  as  in  any 
little  cottage  window. 

"  This  uproar  is  life,"  thought  Shvarts,  who 
had  never  been  in  KiefT  before,  or  in  any  large 
city. 

And  he  was  thinking  how  immensely  distant 
was  life  in  a  little  town  from  the  broad  scene 
of  activity  in  a  great  city,  when  a  well-known 
voice  roused  him  from  that  meditation. 

"  Yosef,  as  God  lives  I  " 


In  Vain  3 

Shvarts  looked  around,  gazed  some  seconds 
at  the  man  who  called  him  by  name ;  at  last 
he  opened  his  arms  widely,  and  exclaimed,  — 

"  As  God  lives,  it  is  Gustav !  " 

Gustav  was  a  man  small  and  thin,  about 
twenty-three  years  of  age ;  long  hair  of  a  chest- 
nut color  fell  almost  to  his  shoulders;  his 
short  reddish  mustache  cut  even  with  his  lip 
made  him  seem  older  than  he  was  in  reality. 

"  What  art  thou  doing,  Yosef  ?  Why  hast 
thou  come  ?    To  the  University,  hast  thou  not  ?  " 

"Yes." 

"  Well  done.  Life  is  wretched  for  the  man 
without  knowledge,"  said  Gustav,  as  he  panted. 
"What  course  wilt  thou  choose?" 

"  I  cannot  tell  yet;  I  will  see  and  decide." 

"  Think  over  it  carefully.  I  have  been  here 
a  year  now,  and  have  had  a  chance  to  look  at 
things  coolly.  I  regret  much  a  choice  made 
too  hastily,  but  what  is  one  to  do  afterward? 
Too  late  to  turn  back,  to  go  on  there  is  lack 
of  power.  It  is  easier  to  commit  a  folly  than 
correct  it.  To-morrow  I  will  go  with  thee  to 
the  University ;  meanwhile,  if  thou  hast  no  lodg- 
ings, let  the  Jew  take  thy  things  to  my  room, 
it  is  not  far  from  here.  Thou  mayst  begin  with 
me ;  when  thou  art  tired  of  me,  look  for  another 


4  In  Vain 

Yosef  accepted  Gustav's  offer,  and  in  a  few 
moments  they  were  in  the  narrow  lodgings  of 
the  student. 

"  Ei,  it  is  long  since  we  have  seen  each  other. 
We  finished  our  school  course  a  year  ago," 
said  Gustav,  putting  aside  Yosef  s  small  trunk 
and  bundle.  "  A  year  is  some  time.  What  hast 
thou  done  this  whole  year?" 

"  I  have  been  with  my  father,  who  would  not 
let  me  come  to  the  University." 

"What  harm  could  that  be  to  him?  " 

"  He  was  a  good  man,  though  ignorant —  a 
blacksmith." 

"  But  he  has  let  thee  come  now?  " 

"  He  died." 

"  He  did  well,"  said  Gustav,  coughing. 
"The  cursed  asthma  is  tormenting  me  these 
six  months.  Dost  wonder  at  my  hard  breath- 
ing ?  Thou  too  wilt  breathe  hard  when  thou 
hast  bent  over  books  as  I  have.  Day  after 
day  without  rest  for  a  moment.  And  fight 
with  poverty  as  one  dog  with  another.  —  Hast 
money  ?  " 

"  I  have.  I  sold  the  house  and  property 
left  by  my  father.  I  have  two  thousand 
rubles." 

"  Splendid !  For  thee  that  will  be  plenty. 
My  position  is  poverty !  Oh  the  cursed  asthma ! 


In  Vain  5 

Oi !  that  is  true.  One  must  learn.  Barely  a 
little  rest  in  the  evening;  the  day  at  lectures, 
the  night  at  work.  Not  time  enough  for  sleep. 
That  is  the  way  with  us.  When  thou  enterest 
our  life,  thou  wilt  see  what  a  University  is. 
To-day  I  will  take  thee  to  the  club,  or  simply 
to  the  restaurant;  thou  must  learn  to  know 
our  students  immediately.  To-day,  right  away 
thou  wilt  go  with  me." 

Gustav  circled  about  the  room  without  inter- 
mission ;  he  panted  and  coughed.  To  look  at 
his  bent  shoulders,  sunken  visage,  and  long 
hair,  one  might  have  taken  him  rather  for  a 
man  tortured  by  joyous  life  than  by  labor;  but 
the  printed  volumes  and  manuscripts  in  piles, 
the  poverty  in  the  furnishing  of  the  room,  gave 
more  proof  than  was  needed  to  show  that  the 
occupant  belonged  to  that  species  of  night  birds 
who  wither  away  while  bent  over  books,  and  die 
thinking  whether  a  certain  syllable  should  or 
should  not  be  accented. 

But  Yosef  breathed  the  atmosphere  of  the 
chamber  with  ftfll  breast ;  for  him  that  was  a 
world  at  once  new  and  peculiar.  "Who 
knows,"  thought  he,  "  what  ideas  are  flashing 
through  the  heads  of  dwellers  in  fourth  and 
fifth  stories?  Who  knows  what  a  future  those 
garrets  are  preparing  for  science  ?  "    . 


6  In  Vain 

"  Thou  wilt  make  the  acquaintance  to-day 
of  many  of  our  fellows,"  said  Gustav,  drawing 
out  from  beneath  his  bed  a  one-legged  samovar 
and  putting  a  broken  dish  under  it  in  place  of 
the  two  other  legs.  "  But  let  not  this  evening 
offend  thee,"  continued  the  student,  as  he  let 
charcoal  drop  into  the  samovar.  "  I  will  make 
tea.  Let  not  heads  partly  crazy  offend  thee. 
When  thou  hast  looked  round  about  at  the 
city,  thou  wilt  discover  that  there  is  no  lack 
of  fools  here  as  in  other  places ;  but  it  moves 
forward  with  no  laggard  steps.  There  is  no 
lack  among  us  of  originals,  though  there  is 
much  that  is  empty  and  colorless.  This  last 
is  ridiculous,  and  the  dullest  of  all  the  stupidi- 
ties. In  some  heads  there  are  blazes  of  light, 
in  other  heads  darkness  like  that  out  of  doors 
at  this  moment." 

Silence  reigned  for  a  time  in  the  chamber; 
there  was  no  noise  there  save  that  made  by 
Gustav  while  puffing  and  blowing  at  the  samo- 
var. In  fact,  night  had  been  coming  gradu- 
ally, on  the  walls  and  ceiling  of  the  room  an 
increasing  darkness  was  falling ;  the  fiery  circle 
reflected  from  the  samovar  widened  or  nar- 
rowed as  Gustav  blew  or  stopped  blowing. 
At  last  the  water  began  to  sound,  to  hiss,  to 
sputter.     Gustav  lighted  a  candle. 


In  Vain  7 

"  Here  is  tea  for  thee.  I  will  go  now  to  the 
lecture,"  continued  he;  "  wait  thou  here,  or 
better  sleep  on  my  bed.  When  thy  time  to 
pay  money  comes,  thou  wilt  have  also  to  look 
after  lectures.  The  work  is  dreary,  but  there 
is  no  escape  from  it.  Student  life  has  its  bitter 
side,  but  why  mention  this  in  advance?  Our 
student  world  and  the  rest  of  society  are  en- 
tirely separate.  People  here  neither  like  nor 
receive  us,  and  we  quarrel  with  all  persons, 
even  with  one  another.  Oh,  life^here  is  diffi- 
cult! If  thou  fall  ill,  no  man^waQ  is  not  a 
student,  will  reach  a  hand  to^|ige?YSThis  is 
the  fate  of  us  poor  fellows ;  more^fer  people 
are  angry  because  we  play  no  come^es,  we 
call  things  by  their  names." 

"Thou  seest  objects  in  black,"  remarked 
Yosef. 

"Black  or  not  black,"  answered  Gustav,  with 
bitterness,  "  thou  wilt  see.  But  I  tell  thee  that 
thou  wilt  not  rest  on  roses.  Youth  has  both 
rights  and  demands.  They  will  laugh  in  thy 
eyes  at  these  rights,  these  demands ;  they  will 
say  that  thou  art  not  cooked  enough,  they 
will  call  thy  wants  exaltation.  But  devil  take 
it,  the  name  matters  little  if  the  thing  it  de- 
scribes hurts  or  pains  thee.  As  to  that  thou 
wilt  see.  —  Pour  tea  for  thyself,  and  lie  down 


8  In  Vain 

to  rest.  I  shall  be  here  in  an  hour ;  and  now 
give  me  that  hat,  and  good-by !  " 

For  a  while  the  panting,  puffing,  and  steps 
of  Gustav  were  heard  on  the  stairway.  Yosef 
was  alone. 

Those  words  of  Gustav  impressed  his  friend 
strangely.  Yosef  remembered  him  as  different. 
To-day  a  certain  disappointment  and  peevish- 
ness were  heard  in  his  voice,  mental  gloom  of 
a  certain  kind  broke  through  those  words  half 
interrupted,  half  sad.  Formerly  he  had  been 
healthy  in  mind  and  in  body;  to-day  his 
breathing  was  difficult,  in  his  movements  and 
speech  appeared  wonderful  feverishness,  like 
that  of  a  man  who  is  exhausted. 

"  Has  life  tortured  him  that  much  already?" 
thought  Yosef.  "Then  one  must  struggle  here, 
go  against  the  current  somewhat ;  but  this  poor 
fellow  had  not  the  strength,  it  seems.  A  man 
must  conquer  in  this  place.  It  is  clear  that 
the  world  does  not  lay  an  over-light  hand 
on  us.  Devil  take  it !  the  question  is  no  easy 
one.  Gustav  is  in  some  sort  too  misanthropic ; 
he  must  exaggerate  rather  easily.  But  he  is 
no  idler  and  must  go  forward.  Perhaps  this 
is  only  a  mask,  the  misanthropy,  under  which 
he  finds  his  position  more  convenient  and 
safer.     But  really,  if  one  must  take  things  by 


In  Vain  9 

storm  or  perish?  Ha,  then  I  will  go  through !  " 
exclaimed  the  young  man,  with  strength, 
though  in  this  interjection  there  was  more 
resolution  than  passion. 

An  hour  after  this  monologue  panting  was 
heard  on  the  stairway  a  second  time,  and 
Gustav  entered,  or   rather  pushed  in. 

"  Now  follow !  "  cried  he.  "  Thou  art  about 
to  enter  the  vortex  of  student  life ;  to-day  thou 
wilt  see  its  gladder  aspect.  But  lose  no 
time ! " 

While  speaking,  he  turned  his  cap  in  his 
hand,  and  cast  his  eyes  on  every  side ;  finally 
he  went  to  a  small  table,  and  taking  a  comb 
began  to  arrange  his  long  yellow,  or  rather 
his  long  faded  hair. 

At  last  they  went  out  to  the  street. 

At  that  time  in  Kieff  there  were  restaurants 
where  students  assembled.  Circumstances 
were  such  that  it  was  not  possible  to  live 
with  the  city  society.  Those  various  city 
circles  were  unwilling  to  receive  young  per- 
sons whom  the  future  alone  was  to  form  into 
people.  On  the  student  side  lack  of  steadi- 
ness, violence  of  speech,  insolence,  and  other 
native  traits  usual  to  youth  were  not  very 
willing  to  bend  themselves  to  social  require- 
ments;   as  to  the  country,  that  furnished  its 


io  In  Vain 

social  contingent  only  in  winter,  or  during  the 
time  of  the  contracts.  So  the  University  was 
a  body  entirely  confined  to  itself,  living  a  life 
of  books  in  the  day,  and  leading  a  club  life 
at  night.  For  many  reasons  there  was  more 
good  in  this  than  evil,  for  though  young  men 
went  into  the  world  without  polish,  they  had 
energy  and  were  capable  of  action.  Wearied 
and  worn-out  individuals  were  not  found  among 
them. 

Our  acquaintances  passed  through  the 
street ,  quickly,  and  turned  toward  the  gleam- 
ing windows  of  a  restaurant  Under  the  light 
of  the  moon  it  was  possible  to  distinguish  the 
broad,  strong  figure  of  Yosef  near  the  bent 
shoulders  and  large  head  of  Gustav.  The 
latter  hurried  on  in  advance  somewhat,  con- 
versing with  Yosef  or  with  himself;  at  last 
he  halted  under  a  window,  seized  the  sill, 
and  drawing  himself  up  examined  the  interior 
carefully.  Finally  he  dropped  down,  and  said, 
while  wiping  off  whitewash  from  his  knees,  — 

"  She  is  not  there." 

"Who  is  not  there?" 

"  Either  she  has  been  there  or  she  will  not 
come." 

"  Who  is  she  ?  " 

"  What  o'clock  is  it?" 


In  Vain  n 

"  Ten  o'clock.  Whom  art  thou  looking  for 
through  the  window?  " 

"The  widow." 

"  The  widow?    Who  is  she?  " 

"  I  fear  that  she  is  sick." 

"  Is  she  thy  acquaintance?" 

"  Evidently.  If  I  did  not  know  her  I  should 
not  be  occupied  with  her." 

"  Well,  that  is  clear,"  answered  Yosef. 
"  Let   us   go   in." 

He  raised  the  door-latch  ;   they  entered. 

A  smoky,  hot  atmosphere  surrounded  them. 
At  some  distance  in  the  hall  faces  of  various 
ages  were  visible.  Amid  clouds  of  smoke, 
which  dimmed  the  light  of  the  wall  lamps,  and 
outbursts  of  laughter,  wandered  the  tones  of 
a  piano,  as  if  wearied  and  indifferent.  The 
piano  was  accompanied  by  a  guitar,  on  which 
thrummed  at  intervals  a  tall,  slender  youth,  with 
hair  cut  close  to  his  skull  and  with  scars  on 
his  face.  He  played  with  long  fingers  on  the 
strings  carelessly,  fixed  his  great  blue  eyes  on 
the  ceiling,  and  was  lost  in  meditation. 

The  person  sitting  at  the  piano  had  barely 
grown  out  of  childhood.  He  had  a  milk-white 
complexion,  dark  hair  combed  toward  the 
back  of  his  head,  sweetness  on  his  red  lips,  and 
melancholy  in  his  eyes.     He  was  delicate,  of  a 


12  In  Vain 

slight  build  of  body,  and  good  looking.  It  was 
evident  that  he  had  played  a  long  time,  for  red 
spots  on  both  cheeks  showed  great  weariness. 

With  their  backs  to  the  light  stood  a 
number  of  men  from  the  Pinsk  region,  all 
strong  as  oaks,  and  at  the  same  time  so  eager 
for  music  of  every  sort  given  in  the  restaurant 
that  they  formed  a  circle  around  the  player, 
drooped  their  heads,  and  listened  with  sighs 
or  delight. 

Other  young  fellows  were  on  benches  or  in 
armchairs;  a  few  tender  girls,  of  the  grass- 
hopper order  who  sing  away  a  summer,  circled 
here  and  there.  It  was  noisy;  goblets  clinked 
in  places.  In  the  room  next  the  hall  some 
were  playing  cards  madly,  and  through  a  half- 
open  door  the  face  of  one  player  was  visible. 
Just  then  he  was  lighting  a  cigar  at  a  candle 
standing  on  the  corner  of  a  table,  and  the 
flame  either  smothered  or  rising  for  an  instant 
shone  on  his  sharply  cut  features. 

The  woman  at  the  refreshment  counter  ex- 
amined near  the  light,  with  perfect  indifference, 
the  point  of  the  pen  with  which  she  entered 
down  daily  sales;  at  her  side,  leaning  on  a 
table,  slumbered  her  assistant  in  wondrous 
oblivion.  A  cat  sitting  on  a  corner  of  the 
counter  opened  his  eyes  at  moments,  and  then 


In  Vain  13 

closed  them  with  an  expression  of  philosophic 
calm  and  dignity. 

Yosef  cast  a  glance  around  the  assembly. 

"  Ho  !  How  art  thou,  Yosef?  "  called  a  num- 
ber of  voices. 

"  I  am  well.     How  are  ye? " 

"  Hast  come  for  good? " 

"  For  good." 

"  I  present  him  as  a  member  of  this  respected 
society.  Do  thou  on  thy  part  know  once  for 
all  the  duty  of  coming  here  daily,  and  the  privi- 
lege of  never  sleeping  in  human  fashion,"  said 
Gustav. 

"  As  a  member?  So  much  the  better !  Soon 
thou  wilt  hear  a  speech.  —  Hei,  there,  Augus- 
tinovich,  begin ! " 

From  that  room  of  card-players  came  a 
young  man  with  stooping  shoulders  and  a 
head  almost  bald,  ugly  in  appearance.  He 
threw  his  cap  on  a  table,  and  sitting  in  an 
armchair  began,  — 

"  Gentlemen  !  If  ye  will  not  remain  quiet, 
I  shall  begin  to  speak  learnedly,  and  I  know, 
my  dear  fellows,  that  for  you  there  is  nothing 
on  earth  so  offensive  as  learned  discourses.  In 
Jove's  name  !  Silence,  I  say,  silence !  I  shall 
begin  to  discourse  learnedly." 

Indeed,  under   the  influence   of  the   threat 


14     *  In  Vain 

silence  reigned  for  a  season.  The  speaker 
looked  around  in  triumph,  and  continued, — 
"  Gentlemen  !  If  we  have  met  here,  we  have 
met  to  seek  in  rest  itself  the  remembrance  of 
bitter  moments.  ["Very  well."]  Some  one  will 
say  that  we  meet  here  every  night.  ["  Very 
well."]  I  come  here  nightly,  and  I  do  not 
dream  of  denying  it;  I  do  not  deny,  either, 
that  I  am  here  on  this  occasion  !  [Applause ; 
the  speaker  brightens  and  continues.]  Silence  ! 
Were  I  forced  to  conclude  that  every  effort  of 
mine  which  is  directed  toward  giving  a  practical 
turn  to  our  meetings  is  shattered  by  general 
frivolousness,  for  I  can  call  it  general  ["  You 
can,  you  can!"],  not  directed  by  the  current 
of  universal  agreement  which  breaks  up  in  its 
very  beginning  ["  Consider,  gentlemen,  in  its 
very  beginning"]  the  uniform  efforts  of  indi- 
viduals —  if  efforts  marked  by  the  regular  ob- 
ject of  uniting  disconnected  thoughts  into 
some  organic  whole,  will  never  issue  from  the 
region  of  imagination  to  the  more  real  field  of 
action,  then,  gentlemen,  I  am  the  first,  and  I 
say  that  there  are  many  others  with  me  who 
will  agree  to  oppose  the  sense  of  the  methods 
of  our  existence  so  far  [Applause],  and  will 
take  other  methods  ["  Yes,  yes  !"]  obliging,  if 
not  all,  at  least  the  chosen  ones  [Applause]." 


In  Vain  15 

"What  does  this  mean?  "  asked  Yosef. 

"  A  speech,"  answered  Gustav,  shrugging  his 
shoulders. 

"With  what  object?" 

"  But  how  does  that  concern  any  one?  " 

11  What  kind  of  person  is  he?  " 

"  His  name  is  Augustinovich.  He  has  a 
good  head,  but  at  this  moment  he  is  drunk, 
his  words  are  confused.  He  knows,  however, 
what  he  wants,  and,  as  God  lives,  he  is  right." 

"  What  does  he  want  ?  " 

"  That  we  should  not  meet  here  in  vain,  that 
our  meetings  should  have  some  object.  But 
those  present  laugh  at  the  object  and  the 
speech.  Of  necessity  the  change  would  bring 
dissension  into  the  freedom  and  repose  which 
thus  far  have  reigned  in  these  meetings." 

"  And  what  object  does  Augustinovich  wish 
to  give  them?  " 

"  Literary,  scientific." 

"  That  would  be  well." 

"  I  have  told  him  that  he  is  right.  If  some 
one  else  were  to  make  the  proposal,  the  thing 
would  pass,  perhaps." 

"  Well,  but  in  his  case." 

"  On  everything  that  he  touches  he  leaves 
traces  of  his  own  ridiculousness  and  humilia- 
tion.    Have  a  care,  Yosef!     Thou  in  truth  art 


1 6  In  Vain 

not  like  him  in  anything  so  far  as  I  know,  but 
here  any  man's  feet  may  slip,  if  not  in  one,  in 
another  way." 

Gustav  looked  with  misty  eyes  on  Augus- 
tinovich,  shrugged  his  shoulders,  and  con- 
tinued, — 

"  Fate  fixed  itself  wonderfully  on  that  man. 
I  tell  thee  that  he  is  a  collection  of  all  the 
capacities,  but  he  has  little  character.  He  has 
lofty  desires,  but  his  deeds  are  insignificant,  an 
eternal  dissension.  There  is  no  balance  be- 
tween his  desires  and  his  strength,  hence  he 
attains  no  result." 

A  number  of  Yosef's  acquaintances  ap- 
proached; at  the  glass  conversation  grew 
general.     Yosef  inquired  about  the  University. 

"Do  all  the  students  live  together?" 

"  Impossible,"  answered  one  of  the  Lithu- 
anians. "There  are  people  here  of  all  the 
most  varied  conceptions,  hence  there  are  va- 
rious coteries." 

"  That  is  bad." 

"  Not  true !  I  admit  unity  as  to  certain 
higher  objects;  the  unity  of  life  in  common 
is  impossible,  so  there  is  no  use  in  striving 
for  it." 

"  But  the  German  Universities?  " 

"  In  those  are  societies  which  live  in  them- 


In  Vain  17 

selves  only.  A  life  of  feelings  and  thoughts, 
at  least  among  us,  should  agree  with  practice ; 
therefore  dissension  in  feelings  and  thoughts 
produces  dissension  in  practice." 

"  Then  will  you  never  unite?  " 

"  That,  again,  is  something  different.  We 
shall  unite  in  the  interest  of  the  University,  or 
in  that  which  concerns  all.  For  that  matter, 
I  think  that  the  contradictions  which  appear 
prove  our  vitality;  they  are  a  sign  that  we 
live,  feel,  and  think.  In  that  is  our  unity; 
that  which  separates  unites  us." 

"  Under  what  banner  do  you  stand,  then?  " 

"  Labor  and  suffering.  We  have  no  dis- 
tinguishing name.  Those  who  are  peasant 
enthusiasts  call  us  '  baker's  apprentices.' " 

"How  so?" 

"  According  to  facts.  Life  will  teach  thee 
what  these  mean.  Each  one  of  us  tries  to  live 
where  there  is  a  bakery,  to  become  acquainted 
with  the  baker,  and  gain  credit  with  him. 
That  is  our  method;  he  trusts  us.  The  ma- 
jority of  us  eat  nothing  warm,  but  a  cake 
on  credit  thou  wilt  get  as  long  as  thou 
wishest." 

"  That  is  pleasant !  " 

"  Besides  our  coterie,  which  is  not  united  by 
very  strong  bonds,  there  are  peasant  enthu- 


1 8  In  Vain 

siasts.  Antonevich  organized  and  formed 
them.  Rylski  and  Stempkovski  led  them  for 
a  time,  but  to-day  these  are  all  fools  who 
know  not  what  they  want,  they  talk  Little  Rus- 
sian and  drink  common  vodka  —  that  is  the 
whole  matter." 

"  And  what  other  coteries  are  there?" 

"  Clearly  outlined,  there  are  no  more ;  but 
there  are  various  shades.  Some  are  connected 
by  a  communion  of  scientific  ideas,  others 
by  a  common  social  standpoint.  Thou  wilt 
find  here  democrats,  aristocrats,  liberals,  ultra- 
montanes,  frolickers,  women-hunters,  idlers, 
if  thou  wish,  and  finally  sunburnt  laborers." 

"  Who  passes  for  the  strongest  head  ? " 

"  Among  students  ? " 

"  Yes." 

"  That  depends  on  the  branch.  Some  say 
that  Augustinovich  knows  much;  I  will  add 
that  he  does  not  know  it  well.  For  con- 
nected solid  work  and  science  Gustav  is 
distinguished." 

"Ah!" 

"  But  they  talk  variously  about  him.  Some 
cannot  endure  him.  By  living  with  him  thou 
wilt  estimate  the  man  best,  —  for  example,  his 
relations  with  the  widow.  That  is  a  senti- 
mental bit  of  conduct;  another  man  would  not 


In  Vain  19 

have  acted  as  he  has.  Indeed,  it  is  not  easy 
to  get  on  with  her  now." 

"  I  have  heard  Gustav  speak  of  her,  but  tell 
me  once  for  all,  what  sort  of  woman  is  she?  " 

"  She  is  a  young  person  acquainted  with  all 
of  us.  Her  history  is  a  sad  one.  She  fell  in 
love  with  Potkanski,  a  jurist,  and  loved  him 
perhaps  madly.  I  do  not  remember  those 
times  —  I  remember  Potkanski,  however.  He 
was  a  gifted  fellow,  very  wealthy  and  indus- 
trious; in  his  day  he  was  the  idol  of  his 
comrades.  How  he  came  to  know  Helena,  I 
cannot  tell  you  ;  it  is  explained  variously.  This 
only  is  certain,  that  they  loved  each  other 
to  the  death.  She  was  not  more  than  eighteen 
years  of  age.  At  last  Potkanski  determined  to 
marry  her.  It  is  difficult  to  describe  what  his 
family  did  to  prevent  him,  but  Potkanski,  an 
energetic  man,  stuck  to  his  point,  and  married 
her  despite  every  hindrance.  Their  married 
life  lasted  one  year.  He  fell  ill  of  typhoid 
on  a  sudden,  and  died  leaving  her  on  the 
street  as  it  were,  for  his  family  seized  all  his 
property.  A  child  which  was  living  when  he 
died,  died  also  soon  after.  The  widow  was  left 
alone,  and  had  it  not  been  for  Gustav  —  well, 
she  would  have  perished." 

"What  did  Gustav  do?" 


20  In  Vain 

"  Gustav  did  wonders.  With  wretched 
means  he  prosecuted  the  Potkanskis.  God 
knows  whether  he  would  have  won  the  case, 
for  that  is  a  family  of  magnates,  but  he  did  this 
much :  to  avoid  scandal,  they  engaged  to  pay 
the  widow  a  slight  life  annuity." 

"  He  acquitted  himself  bravely !  " 

"  Of  course  he  did,  of  course  he  did !  Leave 
that  to  him !  What  energy !  And  remember 
it  was  during  his  first  year  at  the  University, 
without  acquaintances,  in  a  strange  city,  with- 
out means.  And  it  is  this  way,  my  dear:  a 
rich  man  can,  a  poor  man  must,  help  himself." 

"But  what  obligation  had  he  toward  the 
widow?  " 

"  He  was  Potkanski's  friend,  but  that  is  still 
little ;  he  loved  her  before  she  became  Potkan- 
ski's wife,  perhaps,  but  held  aloof;  now  he 
makes  no  concealment." 

"But  she?" 

"  Oh,  from  the  time  of  the  misfortunes 
through  which  she  passed  the  woman  has 
fallen  into  utter  torpor ;  she  has  become  insane 
simply.  She  docs  not  know  what  is  happen- 
ing to  her,  she  is  indifferent  to  everything.  But 
beyond  doubt  thou  wilt  see  her  on  this  occasion, 
for  she  comes  here  every  evening." 

"  And  with  what  object?  " 


In  Vain  21 

"  I  say  that  she  is  a  maniac.  The  report  is 
that  she  made  the  acquaintance  of  Potkanski 
here,  so  now  she  does  not  believe,  it  seems, 
that  he  is  dead,  and  she  goes  around  every- 
where, as  maniacs  do  usually.  In  fact,  were  he 
to  rise  from  the  dead,  and  not  go  to  her 
straightway,  she  would  surely  find  him  here, 
nowhere  else.  We  remind  her,  perhaps,  of 
Potkanski ;  many  students  used  to  visit  them." 

11  Does  Gustav  permit  her  to  come  here?" 

"  Potkanski  never  would  have  permitted  her 
to  come,  but  Gustav  does  not  forbid  her  any- 
thing." 

"  How  does  she  treat  Gustav?  " 

"  Like  a  table,  a  bench,  a  plate,  or  a  ball  of 
thread.  She  seems  not  to  see  him,  but  she 
does  not  avoid  him,  —  she  is  always  indifferent, 
apathetic.  That  must  pain  him,  but  it  is  his 
affair.  —  Ah  !  there  she  is  !  that  woman  coming 
in  on  the  right." 

When  the  widow  entered,  it  grew  somewhat 
silent.  The  appearance  of  that  mysterious 
figure  always  produced  an  impression.  Of 
stature  a  little  more  than  medium,  slender ;  she 
had  a  long  face,  bright  blond  hair,  and  dark 
eyes;  her  shoulders  and  bosom  were  rather 
slight,  but  she  had  the  round  plumpness  of 
maiden  forms ;  a  forehead  thrown  back  in  a 


22  In  Vain 

way  scarcely  discernible.  She  was  pensive, 
and  as  dignified  as  if  of  marble.  Her  eyes, 
deeply  set  beneath  her  forehead,  as  it  were  in 
a  shadow,  were  pencilled  above  with  one  deli- 
cate arch  of  brow.  Those  eyes  were  marvel- 
lous, steel-colored ;  they  gleamed  like  polished 
metal,  but  that  was  a  genuine  light  of  steel.  It 
was  light  and  nothing  more  ;  under  the  glitter 
warmth  and  depth  of  thought  were  lacking. 
One  might  have  said  of  those  eyes,  "They 
look,  but  they  see  not."  They  gave  no  idea  of 
an  object,  they  only  reflected  it.  They  were 
cold  beyond  description ;  we  will  add  that  their 
lids  almost  never  blinked,  but  the  pupils  pos- 
sessed a  certain  movement  as  if  investigating, 
inquiring,  seeking ;  still  the  movement  was 
mechanical. 

The  rest  of  the  widow's  face  answered  to  her 
eyes.  Her  mouth  was  pressed  downward  a 
little,  as  might  be  the  case  in  a  statue;  the 
complexion  monotonous,  dull,  pale,  had  a 
swarthy  tinge.  She  was  neither  very  charm- 
ing nor  very  beautiful;  she  was  accurately 
pretty. 

This  in  the  woman  was  wonderful,  that 
though  her  face  was  torpid  apparently,  she 
had  in  her  whole  person  something  which 
attracted  the  masculine  side  of  human  nature 


In  Vain  23 

inexplicably.  In  that  lay  her  charm.  She 
was  statuesque  to  the  highest  degree,  but  to 
the  highest  degree  also  a  woman.  She  at- 
tracted and  also  repelled.  Gustav  felt  this 
best.  It  was  difficult  to  reconcile  with  that 
cold  torpor  the  impression  which  she  pro- 
duced, which  seemed  as  it  were  not  of  her, 
but  aside  from  her. 

She  was  like  a  sleeping  flower ;  pain  had  so 
put  her  to  sleep.  In  reality  the  blows  which 
she  had  received  were  like  strokes  of  an  axe 
on  the  head.  Let  us  remember  that  in  the 
career  of  the  woman  brief  moments  of  happi- 
ness were  closed  by  two  coffins.  As  a  maiden 
she  had  loved  ;  he  whom  she  had  loved  was  no 
longer  alive.  As  a  wife  she  had  given  birth  to 
a  child;  the  child  was  dead.  That  which 
law  had  given  her,  which  had  been  the  cause 
and  effect  of  her  life,  had  vanished.  Thence- 
forth she  ceased  to  live,  she  only  existed. 
Imagine  a  plant  which  is  cut  at  the  top 
and  the  root ;  such  was  Helena.  Torn  from 
the  past  and  debarred  from  the  future,  at 
first  she  bore  within  her  a  dim  belief  that  a 
shameful  injustice  had  been  wrought  on  her. 
At  the  moment  of  her  pain  she  threw  out, 
it  is  difficult  to  know  at  whom,  this  ques- 
tion, as  unfathomable  as  the  bottomless  pit: 


24  In  Vain 

Why  has  this  happened?  No  answer  came 
from  the  blue  firmament,  or  the  earth,  or 
the  fields,  or  the  forest ;  the  injustice  re- 
mained injustice.  The  sun  shone  and  the 
birds  sang  on  as  before.  Then  that  unfortu- 
nate heart  withdrew  into  itself  with  its  own 
pain  and  became  deadened. 

No  answer  came,  but  her  mind  grew  diseased 
—  she  lost  belief  in  the  death  of  her  husband, 
she  thought  that  he  had  taken  the  weeping 
child  in  his  arms  and  gone  somewhere,  but 
that  he  might  return  any  moment.  Then, 
altogether  incapable  of  another  thought,  she 
sought  him  with  that  bitter  mechanical  move- 
ment of  the  eyes.  She  went  to  the  restaurant, 
thinking  to  find  him  there  where  she  had  made 
his  acquaintance. 

Unfortunately  she  did  not  die,  but  found  a 
valiant  arm  which  strove  to  snatch  her  from 
error,  and  a  breast  which  wished  to  give  her 
warmth.  The  effort  was  vain,  but  it  saved  her 
life.  Gustav's  love  secured  her  rescue  and 
protection,  as  it  were  by  the  tenure  of  a  spider- 
web  which  did  not  let  her  go  from  the  earth. 
His  voice  cried  to  her,  "  Stay,"  and  though 
there  was  no  echo  in  her,  she  remained, 
without  witness  of  herself,  indifferent,  a  thing, 
not  a  human  being. 


In  Vain  25 

Such  was  the  widow. 

She  entered  the  room  and  stood  near  the 
door,  like  a  stone  statue,  in  gloomy  majesty. 
It  was  warm  and  smoky  around  her,  the  last 
sounds  of  a  song  were  quivering  in  the  air  yet. 
A  little  coarse  and  a  little  dissolute  was  the 
song,  and  on  that  impure  background  bloomed 
the  widow  like  a  water-lily  on  a  turbid  pool. 

Silence  came.  They  respected  her  in  that 
place.  In  her  presence  even  Augustinovich 
became  endurable.  Some  remembered  Pot- 
kanski,  others  inclined  their  heads  before  her 
misfortune.  There  were  also  those  who 
revered  her  beauty.  The  assembly  assumed 
in  her  presence  its  seemliest  aspect. 

Gustav  brought  up  an  armchair  to  Pani 
Helena,  and  taking  her  warm  shawl  went  to 
a  corner  to  Yosef,  who,  attracted  and  aston- 
ished, turned  his  gleaming  eyes  at  the  widow. 

Gustav  began  a  conversation  with  him. 

"  That  is  she,"  said  he,  in  an  undertone. 

"  I  understand." 

"Do  not  show  thyself  to  her  much.  The 
poor  woman !  every  new  face  brings  her  dis- 
appointment, she  is  always  looking  for  her 
husband." 

"Art  thou  acquainted  with  her  long?  " 

"  This  is  the  second  year.     I  was  a  witness 


26  In  Vain 

and  best  man  at  Potkanski's  wedding."  Gustav 
smiled  bitterly.  "Since  his  death  I  see  her 
daily." 

"  Vasilkevich  says  that  thou  hast  given  her 
aid  and  protection." 

"  I  have,  and  I  have  not ;  some  one  had  to 
attend  to  that,  and  I  occupied  myself  with  it; 
but  such  protection  as  mine  —  Do  what  is 
possible,  work,  fly,  run  —  misery  upon  misery ! 
so  that  sometimes  despair  seizes  hold  of  a 
man." 

"But  the  family?" 

"What  family?" 

"  His." 

"  They  injure  her !  "  cried  Gustav,  with 
violence. 

"But  they  are  rich,  are  they  not? " 

"  Aristocrats !  Hypocrites !  They  and  I 
have  not  finished  yet.  They  will  remember 
long  the  injustice  done  to  this  dove.  Listen 
to  me,  Yosef.  Were  a  little  child  of  that  family 
to  beg  a  morsel  of  bread  of  me  from  hunger, 
I  would  rather  throw  the  bread  to  a  dog." 

"  Oh,  a  romance !  " 

"Wrong  me  not,  Yosef.  I  am  poor,  I 
waste  no  words.  Potkanski  when  in  the 
hospital  regained  consciousness  just  before 
death,   and    said,   *  Gustav,   to    thee   I    leave 


In  Vain  27 

my  wife ;  care  for  her.'  I  answered,  '  I  will 
care  for  her.'  *  Thou  wilt  not  let  her  die  of 
hunger?'  'I  will  not/  said  I.  'Let  no  one 
offend  her;  take  vengeance  on  any  one  who 
tries  to  do  her  an  injury.'  '  As  God  is  merciful 
in  life  to  me,  I  will  avenge  her,'  said  I.  He 
quenched  after  that,  like  a  candle.  There  thou 
hast  the  whole  story." 

"  Not  the  whole  story,  not  all,  brother !  " 

"  Vasilkevich  told  thee  the  rest.  Very  well ! 
I  will  repeat  the  same  to  thee.  I  have  no  one 
on  earth,  neither  father  nor  mother.  I  myself 
am  in  daily  want,  and  she  alone  binds  me 
to  life."  He  indicated  the  widow  with  his 
eyes. 

And  here  Yosef,  little  experienced  yet, 
had  a  chance  to  estimate  what  passion  is  when 
it  rises  in  a  youthful  breast  and  adds  fire  to 
one's  blood.  That  dry  and  bent  Gustav 
seemed  to  him  at  that  moment  to  gain  strength 
and  vigor;  he  seemed  to  him  loftier,  more 
manly;  he  shook  his  hair  as  a  lion  shakes  his 
mane,  and  on  his  face  a  flush  appeared. 

"  Well,  gentlemen,"  began  Vasilkevich,  "  the 
hour  is  late,  and  sleep  is  not  awaiting  all  of  us 
after  leaving  this  meeting-place.  One  more 
song,  and  then  whoso  wishes  may  say  his  good- 
night." 


28  In  Vain 

He  of  the  maiden  face  who  sat  at  the  piano 
struck  some  well-known  notes,  then  a  few 
youthful  voices  sounded,  but  afterward  a 
whole  chorus  of  them  raised  the  song  dear 
to  students,  "  Gaudeamus  "  (Let  us  rejoice). 

Yosef  went  nearer  the  piano  than  others. 
He  stood  with  his  side  face  turned  to  the 
widow,  under  the  light;  but  the  lamp  hanging 
near  the  wall  cast  his  profile  in  one  line  of 
light.  After  a  while  the  widow's  eyes  fell 
on  that  line,  connecting  it  unquietly  with  her 
own  thoughts.  On  a  sudden  she  rose,  as  pale 
as  marble,  with  a  feverish  gleam  in  her  eyes, 
stretched  forth  her  arms,  and  cried,  — 

"  My  Kazimir,  I  have  found  thee !  " 

In  her  voice  were  heard  hope,  alarm,  joy, 
and  awakening.  All  were  silent.  Every^«ye 
turned  toward  Yosef,  and  a  quiver  ran  through 
those  who  had  known  Potkanski.  In  the  light 
and  shade  that  tall,  strong  figure  seemed  a 
repetition  of  the  dead  man. 

11 1  was  not  careful,"  muttered  Gustav,  on 
his  way  home  about  daybreak.  "  H'm  !  well, 
her  trouble  has  passed,  but  she  was  excited ! 
He  is  really  like  him  —  The  devils  take  it! 
But  the  cursed  asthma  stifles  me  to-day." 


In  Vain  29 


CHAPTER  II 

YoSEF  meditated  long  over  the  choice  of  his 
course.  "I  have  given  my  clear  word  of 
honor  not  to  waste  myself  in  life,  therefore  I 
meditate,"  said  he  to  Vasilkevich. 

And  here  it  must  be  confessed  that  the 
University  roused  him  in  no  common  manner. 
From  various  points  of  the  world  youth  jour- 
neyed thither,  like  lines  of  storks.  Some  were 
entering  to  satisfy  their  mental  thirst,  others 
were  going  away.  Some  hurried  in  to  gain 
knowledge  as  bees  gather  honey.  They  as- 
sembled, they  scattered,  they  went  in  crowds, 
they  drew  from  science,  they  drew  from  them- 
selves, they  drew  from  life.  They  gave  anima- 
tion and  they  received  it,  they  spared  life 
or  they  squandered  it,  they  pressed  forward, 
they  halted,  they  fell,  they  conquered,  and 
they  were  broken  with  their  lives.  Bathing  in 
that  sea,  some  of  them  were  drowned,  others 
swam  to  shore.  Movement,  uproar,  activity 
dominated  immensely. 

The  University  was  like  a  general  ovarium 
where    brains    were    to    be    propagated.      It 


30  In  Vain 

opened  every  year,  giving  forth  ripe  fruits,  and 
taking  in  straightway  new  nurslings.  Men 
were  born  there  a  second  time.  It  was  beauti- 
ful to  see  how  youth,  like  waves  of  water, 
rolled  forth  to  the  world  yearly,  bearing  light 
to  the  ignorant,  as  it  were  provisions  to  the 
human  field.  To  such  a  sea  the  boat  of  life 
brought  Yosef.  Where  was  he  to  attach  him- 
self? Various  courses  of  study,  like  harbors, 
enticed  him.  Whither  was  he  to  turn?  He 
meditated  long;  at  last  he  sailed  in. 

He  chose  the  medical  course. 

"  Happen  what  may,  I  must  be  rich,"  said 
he,  deciding  the  question  of  choice. 

But  this  decision  was  only  because  Yosef, 
with  his  open  mind,  had  immense  regard 
for  the  secrets  of  science.  Both  literature 
and  law  attracted  him,  but  natural  sciences 
he  looked  on  as  the  triumph  of  human 
thought.  He  had  brought  even  from  school 
this  opinion  of  those  sciences.  In  his  school 
there  had  been  a  young  teacher  of  chemistry, 
a  great  enthusiast,  who,  placing  his  hand  on 
his  heart,  spoke  thus  one  day  to  those  of  his 
pupils  who  were  finishing  their  course,  — 

"Believe  me,  my  boys,  except  natural 
science  there  is  nothing  but  guesswork." 

It  is  true  that  the  prefect  of  the  school  while 


In  Vain  31 

closing  religious  exercises,  affirmed  that  only 
the  science  of  the  Church  can  bring  man  to 
everlasting  happiness.  At  this  Yosef,  whom 
the  prefect  had  already  called  a  "  vile  heretic," 
made  such  an  ugly  grimace  that  he  roused 
the  laughter  of  all  who  were  present,  but  he 
drew  down  on  his  own  head  thunders  partly 
deserved. 

So  he  chose  the  medical  course. 

Vasilkevich  influenced  him  in  this  regard. 
Vasilkevich,  a  student  himself,  had,  rightly  or 
wrongly,  an  immense  influence  on  his  com- 
rades. It  happened  that  at  a  students'  talk 
a  certain  grammarian,  a  philologist,  showed 
with  less  truth  than  hypocrisy  that  a  man 
given  to  science  should  devote  himself  to  it 
exclusively,  forget  the  world,  forget  happi- 
ness, and  incarnate  himself  in  science,  —  be 
simply  its  expression,  its  basis,  its  word.  In 
this  deduction  there  was  more  of  false  enthu- 
siasm and  stiltedness  than  sincerity.  "  People 
tell  us,"  continued  the  speaker,  "  that  an  Ice- 
landic fisherman,  who  had  forgotten  himself  in 
gazing  at  the  aurora  borealis,  did  not  guard 
against  currents.  The  waters  bore  him  away 
to  deep  places,  and  he,  with  eyes  fixed  on 
those  northern  lights,  became  entirely  ruddy 
in  their  gleams,  till  at  last  the  spirit  of  the 


32  In  Vain 

abyss  bore  him  away  and  confined  him  under 
the  glassy  wave,  but  in  the  fisherman's  eyes 
the  lights  remained  pictured. 

"  There  is  science  and  life ! "  added  he. 
"  The  man  who  has  once  inclined  his  fore- 
head before  science  may  let  the  waves  of  life 
bear  him  to  any  depth,  the  light  will  remain 
with  him." 

There  are  principles  in  the  world  which  one 
does  not  recognize,  but  to  come  out  against 
them  a  man  needs  no  small  share  of  courage. 
So  among  students  one  and  another  were 
silent,  but  Vasilkevich  panted  angrily  and  rose 
from  his  seat ;  at  last  he  burst  out,  — 

"  Tfu  !  empty  words  !  Let  a  German  con- 
sort himself  in  that  way  with  science,  not  us  ! 
In  my  mind  science  is  for  men,  not  men  for 
science.  Let  the  German  turn  himself  into 
a  parchment.  Thy  fisherman  was  a  fool.  If 
he  had  worked  with  his  oar,  he  might  have 
seen  the  lights  and  brought  fish  to  his  children. 
But  again  look  at  the  question  in  this  way : 
Poor  people  suffer  and  perish  from  hunger 
and  cold,  and  wilt  thou  tear  thyself  free  of  the 
world  and  be  for  men  a  burden  instead  of  an 
assistance? 

"  Oi,  Tetvin,  Tetvin !  "  This  was  the  name 
of  the  previous  speaker.    "  Consider  the  sense, 


In  Vain  33 

not  the  sound  of  thy  words.  Thou  art  able 
to  unite  folly  with  reason !  To-day  it  seems 
to  thee  that  thou  wilt  predict  luck  from  a 
few  faded  cards.  Not  true !  When  the  mo- 
ment comes  and  thy  breast  aches  about  the 
heart,  thou  wilt  yearn  honestly  for  happiness 
in  love.  For  example,  in  Lithuania,  I  have 
a  pair  of  old  people  in  a  cottage,  my  father 
and  mother,  as  white  as  doves,  and  one  of 
them  says  to  the  other  things  of  me  which 
are  beyond  my  merits,  things  which  might  be 
told  of  a  golden  king's  son.  What  would 
my  worth  be  were  I  to  shut  myself  up  in  a 
book,  not  think  of  them,  and  neglect  them  in 
their  old  age  ?  None  whatever.  —  Well,  I 
come  here  and  I  forget  neither  science  nor 
them  nor  myself.  And  I  am  not  alone. 
Every  man  who  tills  a  field  has  the  right  to 
eat  bread  from  it.  That  to  begin  with  !  Sci- 
ence is  science ;  let  not  a  scholar  tear  himself 
loose  from  life,  let  him  not  be  an  incompe- 
tent. A  scholar  is  a  scholar ;  but  if  he  can- 
not button  his  shirt,  if  he  does  not  support 
his  own  children,  and  has  no  care  for  his 
wife?  Why  not  reconcile  the  practice  of 
life  with  science?  Why  not  bring  science 
into  one's  career  and  enliven  science  itself 
with  life?" 

3 


34  In  Vain 

Thus  spoke  Vasilkevich.  He  spoke  and 
panted  with  excitement. 

The  point  is  not  in  this  whether  he  spoke 
truth  or  falsehood ;  we  have  repeated  the  con- 
versation because  Yosef,  by  nature  inclined  to 
be  practical,  took  it  to  heart ;  he  considered, 
meditated,  thought,  and  chose  the  medical 
course. 

Happen  what  may,  a  man  brings  to  the 
world  certain  tendencies. 

Yosefs  mind  was  realistic  by  nature,  in 
some  way  he  clung  rather  to  things  than 
ideas  —  he  had  therefore  no  love  for  dialectics 
of  any  sort.  He  preferred  greatly  to  see  an 
object  as  it  was,  and  had  no  wish  to  have  it 
seem  better  than  it  was.  The  movement  of 
mind  in  men's  heads  is  of  two  sorts :  one  starts 
eternally  from  the  centre  of  existence,  the  other 
refers  each  object  to  some  other.  Men  of  the 
first  kind  enter  into  things  already  investigated, 
and  give  them  life  by  connecting  them  with 
the  main  source  of  existence  by  a  very  slender 
thread  of  knowledge.  The  first  are  the  so- 
called  creative  capacities;  the  second  grasp 
things  in  some  fashion,  compare  them,  classify 
them,  and  understand  them  only  through  ar- 
ranging and  bringing  them  into  classes,  —  those 
are  the  scientific  capacities.      The  first  men 


In  Vain  35 

are  born  to  create,  the  second  to  investigate. 
The  difference  between  them  is  like  that  be- 
tween a  spendthrift  and  a  miser,  between 
exhaling  and  inhaling.  It  is  difficult  to  tell 
which  is  the  better :  the  first  have  the  gift 
of  creating;  the  second  of  developing,  and 
above  all  of  digesting.  In  the  second  this 
is  active;  true,  the  stomach  has  that  power 
also.  A  perfect  balance  between  these  powers 
constitutes  genius.  In  such  a  case  there  is  a 
natural  need  of  broad  movements. 

Yosef  had  the  second  capacity,  the  classify- 
ing. He  not  only  had  it,  but  he  knew  that  he 
had  it;  this  conviction  preserved  him  in  life 
from  many  mistakes,  and  gave  a  certain  balance 
to  his  wishes  and  capacities.  He  never  under- 
took a  thing  that  for  him  was  impossible.  He 
calculated  with  himself.  And,  finally,  he  had 
much  enthusiasm,  which  in  his  case  might  have 
been  called  persistence  in  science.  Having 
a  mind  which  was  fond  of  examining  every- 
thing soberly,  he  wanted  to  see  everything 
well;  but  to  see  well  one  must  know  thor- 
oughly. He  was  unable  to  guess,  he  wished 
to  know. 

This  was  why  he  never  learned  anything 
half-way.  As  a  spider  surrounds  a  fly,  he  sur- 
rounded his  subject  of  investigation  diligently 


36  In  Vain 

with  a  network  of  thought,  he  drew  it  into 
himself;  it  might  be  said  that  he  sucked  it  out 
of  the  place  where  it  was  and  finally  digested 
it.  His  thoughts  had  also  a  high  degree  of 
activity.  He  desired,  a  natural  attribute  of 
youth.  He  was  free  of  conceit.  Frequently 
he  rejected  an  opinion  accepted  by  all, 
specially  for  this  reason,  that  it  had  impor- 
tance behind  it.  It  must  be  confessed,  how- 
ever, that  in  this  case  he  endeavored  to  find 
everything  that  was  against  it;  when  he  did 
not  find  enough,  he  yielded.  He  had,  be- 
sides, no  little  energy  in  thinking  and  doing. 

All  this  composed  his  strength,  his  weapon, 
partly  acquired,  partly  natural.  We  forgot  to 
say  that  he  had  in  addition  two  thousand 
rubles. 

When  he  had  estimated  these  supplies,  he 
betook  himself  to  medicine.  But  the  greater 
the  enthusiasm  with  which  he  betook  himself 
to  his  specialty  the  more  was  he  disenchanted 
at  first.  He  wanted  to  know,  but  now  only 
memory  was  required.  In  that  case  any  man 
might  succeed ;  at  least  it  was  a  question  of 
memory  and  will,  not  of  reason.  One  needed 
a  memory  of  the  eyes,  a  memory  of  the  hands ; 
one  had  to  put  into  the  head  seriously  the  first 
and  second  and  tenth,  from  time  to  time  like 


In  Vain  37 

grain  into  a  storehouse.  That  was  well-nigh 
the  work  of  a  handicraftsman;  the  mental 
organism  gained  no  profit  from  these  sup- 
plies, for  it  did  not  digest  nor  work  them 
over.  Nutrition  was  lacking  there.  The  phi- 
losophy of  the  physical  structure  of  organisms 
may  be  compared  in  subtlety  and  in  immensity 
of  result  with  all  others ;  but  Yosef  was  only 
beginning  to  become  acquainted  with  the  or- 
ganism itself;  indications  as  to  whether  there 
existed  any  philosophy  of  those  sciences  were 
not  given  him  thus  far. 

But  having  once  begun  he  had  to  wade 
farther.  He  waded.  But  the  technical  side 
of  scientific  labor  was  disagreeable,  thankless, 
full  of  hidden  difficulties  and  unexpected  se- 
crets, frequently  obscure,  often  barely  visible, 
most  frequently  repelling,  always  costing  labor. 
One  might  have  said  that  nature  had  de- 
clared war  against  the  human  mind  at  this 
stage.  Yosef  struggled  with  these  moral  dif- 
ficulties, but  he  advanced.  That  technic  had 
a  gloomy  side  also  in  his  eye:  it  had  an 
evil   effect  morally. 

It  disclosed  the  end  of  life  without  indicat- 
ing whether  a  continuation  existed.  The  veil 
was  removed  from  death  without  the  least 
hesitation.     All   the   deformity  of    that   sub- 


38  In  Vain 

terranean  toiler  was  exhibited  with  uncon- 
cealed insolence.  That  which  remained  of 
the  dead  was  also  a  cynical  promise  to  the 
living.  Death  appeared  to  say  in  open  day- 
light, "Till  we  meet  in  the  darkness!"  This 
seemed  an  announcement  bearing  terrible 
proofs  of  the  helplessness  of  man  before  an 
implacable,  malicious,  loathsome,  and  shame- 
less power.  This  power  when  seen  face  to 
face,  roused  in  young  minds  a  violent  re- 
action,—  a  reaction  expressed  in  the  follow- 
ing manner:  "Let  us  lose  no  time,  let  us 
make  use  of  life,  for  sooner  or  later  the 
devils  will  take  everything  1 " 

In  such  occupations  delicacy  of  feeling 
was  dimmed  by  degrees ;  indifference  was  de- 
graded to  coarseness,  ambition  to  envy,  love 
passed  into  passion,  passion  into  impulse. 
Love  was  like  the  sun  seen  through  a  smoked 
glass;  one  felt  the  heat,  but  saw  not  the 
radiance. 

Yosef  warded  off  these  impressions;  he 
shook  himself  free  of  them,  he  cast  them 
away,  and  went  forward. 

Finally,  he  had  to  be  true  to  his  principle. 
He  who  has  confidence  in  one  career  has  not 
in  another ;  that  which  he  has  chosen  seems 
best  to  him.     In  that  which  Yosef  had  chosen 


In  Vain  39 

everything  from  the  time  of  Hippocrates  down- 
ward reposed  on  experience.  Seeing,  hearing, 
tasting,  smelling,  and  feeling  are  the  only  cri- 
teria on  which  the  whole  immense  structure 
stands  even  in  our  day. 

So  men  believe,  especially  young  men,  as 
the  most  different  in  everything  from  their 
elders.  All  that  has  come  to  science  by  ways 
aside  from  experience,  is  doubtful.  Each  man 
judges  according  to  his  own  thought  the  ideas 
of  others.  The  hypothesis  of  anything  exist- 
ing outside  of  experience,  even  if  true,  seems 
through  such  a  glass  frivolous.  "  Only  inves- 
tigated things  have  existence.  The  connec- 
tion between  cause  and  effect  is  a  necessity 
of  thought,  but  only  in  man.  History  is  a 
chronicle  more  or  less  scandalous;  law  rests 
on  experience  of  modes  of  living  in  society, 
speculation  is  a  disease  of  the  mind." 

Yosef  did  not  ward  off  these  thoughts,  since 
they  did  not  hinder  him  in  advancing. 

As  to  the  rest  he  worked  on. 


40  In  Vain 


CHAPTER  III 

A  MONTH  passed. 

The  evening  was  fair,  autumnal ;  the  sun  was 
quenching  slowly  on  the  towers  of  Kieff  and 
on  the  distant  grave-mounds  of  the  steppe. 
Its  light  was  still  visible  on  the  roof  above 
Yosef  and  Gustav.  Both  were  bent  over  their 
work  and,  sitting  in  silence,  used  the  last  rays 
of  evening  with  eagerness.  Gustav  had  re- 
turned from  the  city  not  long  before ;  he  was 
suffering  and  pale,  he  panted  more  than  usual. 
On  his  face  a  certain  uneasiness  was  manifest, 
vexation,  even  pain ;  this  he  strove  to  conceal, 
but  still  it  was  evident  from  the  fever  of  his 
eyes.  Both  men  were  silent.  It  was  clear, 
however,  that  Gustav  wished  to  break  the 
silence,  for  he  turned  to  Yosef  frequently;  but 
since  it  seemed  as  though  the  first  word  could 
be  spoken  only  with  difficulty,  he  sank  back 
to  his  book  again.  At  last  evident  impatience 
was  expressed  on  his  face ;  he  seized  his  cap 
from  the  table,  and  rose. 

"  What  o'clock  is  it  now  ?  "  asked  he. 


In  Vain  41 

"  Six." 

"  Why  art  thou  not  going  to  the  widow's  ? 
Thou  goest  every  day  to  visit  her." 

Yosef  turned  toward  Gustav,  — 

"  It  was  at  her  request  that  I  went  with  thee 
to  her  lodgings  the  first  time.  Let  us  not 
mention  the  subject.  I  do  not  care  to  speak  of 
that  which  would  be  disagreeable  to  both  of 
us ;  for  that  matter,  we  understand  each  other 
perfectly.  I  will  not  see  the  widow  to-day,  or 
to-morrow,  or  any  day.  Thou  hast  my  word 
and  hand  on  that." 

They  stood  then  in  silence,  Yosef  with  ex- 
tended hand.  Gustav,  hesitating  and  disturbed 
by  the  awkward  position,  finally  pressed  the 
palm  of  his  comrade. 

Evidently  words  came  to  both  with  difficulty ; 
one  did  not  wish  to  use  heartfelt  expressions, 
the  other  heartfelt  thanks.  After  a  while  they 
parted. 

Men's  feelings  are  strange  sometimes,  and 
the  opposite  of  those  which  would  seem  the 
reward  of  noble  deeds.  Yosef  promised  Gustav 
not  to  see  Pani  Helena,  the  widow.  Whether 
he  loved  her  or  not,  that  was  a  sacrifice  on  his 
part,  for  in  his  toilsome  and  monotonous  exist- 
ence she  was  the  only  bright  point  around 
which  his  thought   loved  to  circle.     Though 


42  In  Vain 

thinking  about  her  was  only  the  occupation 
of  moments  snatched  from  hard  labor  and 
devoted  to  rest  and  mental  freedom,  to  re- 
nounce such  moments  was  to  deprive  rest  of 
its  charm,  it  was  to  remove  a  motive  from  life 
at  a  place  where  feeling  might  bud  out  and 
blossom. 

Yosef,  after  thinking  a  little,  did  this  with- 
out hesitation.     He  made  a  sacrifice. 

Still,  when  Gustav  had  gone  from  the  room, 
there  was  on  Yosef's  face  an  expression  of  dis- 
taste, even  anger.  Was  that  regret  for  the  past, 
or  for  the  deed  done  a  moment  before? 

No. 

When  he  extended  his  hand  to  Gustav,  the 
latter  hesitated  in  taking  it.  Not  to  accept  a 
sacrifice  given  by  an  energetic  soul  is  to  cover 
the  deed  of  sacrifice  itself  with  a  shadow  of 
ridicule ;  and  this  in  the  mind  of  him  who 
makes  the  sacrifice  is  to  be  ungrateful,  and  to 
cast  a  grain  of  deep  hatred  into  the  rich  field 
of  vanity. 

But  to  accept  a  rival's  sacrifice  is  for  a  soul 
rich  in  pride  to  place  one's  own  "  I  "  under  the 
feet  of  some  other  man  morally;  it  is  to  receive 
small  coppers  of  alms  thrust  hastily  into  a 
hand  which  had  not  been  stretched  forth  for 
anything. 


In  Vain  43 

Pride  prefers  to  be  a  creditor  rather  than  a 
debtor. 

Therefore  Gustav  when  on  the  street  twisted 
his  mouth  in  bitter  irony,  and  muttered  through 
his  pressed  lips. 

Better  and  better.  Favor,  favor !  Bow  down 
now  to  Pan  Yosef  daily,  and  thank  him.  A 
pleasant  life  for  thee,  Gustav ! 

And  he  fell  into  bitter,  deep  meditation.  He 
ceased  even  to  think  of  himself,  he  was  merely 
dreaming  painfully.  He  felt  a  kind  of  gloomy 
echo  in  his  soul,  while  striving  to  summon  up 
the  remembrance  of  even  one  happy  moment. 
That  echo  sounded  in  him  like  a  broken  chord. 
The  mind  and  soul  in  the  man  were  divided. 
One  tortured  half  cried  hurriedly  for  rest ;  the 
other  half,  energetic  and  gloomy,  strove  toward 
life  yet.  One  half  of  his  mind  saw  light  and 
an  object;  the  other  turned  moodily  toward 
night  and  nothingness.  To  finish  all,  there 
was  something  besides  in  this  sorrowing  man 
which  made  sport  of  its  own  suffering;  some- 
thing like  a  malicious  demon  which  with  one 
hand  indicated  his  own  figure  to  him,  pale, 
ugly,  bent,  and  pointed  out  with  the  other,  as 
it  were  in  the  clouds  in  the  brightness  of 
morning,  Helena  Potkanski,  in  marble  repose, 
in  splendid  beauty. 


44  /#  f^»i 

Torn  apart  with  the  tumult  of  this  internal 
battle,  he  went  forward  alone,  almost  with- 
out knowing  whither.  Suddenly  he  heard 
behind  a  well-known  voice  singing  in  bass 
the  glad  song :  — 

"  Hop !  hop  !  hop !  hop ! 
And  the  horseshoe  firmly  fastened." 

He  looked  around  —  it  was  Vasilkevich  and 
Augustinovich. 

"Whither  art  thou  hastening,  Gustav?" 
asked  the  first. 

"  I  ?  Ha  !  whither  —  "  He  looked  at  his 
watch.  "  It  is  too  early  to  visit  Pani  Helena. 
I  am  going  at  present  to  the  club." 

"  Well,  go  straight  to  the  widow." 

"What?     Why?" 

"Woe!"  exclaimed  Augustinovich,  raising 
his  hand  toward  heaven ;  and  without  noticing 
passers-by,  he  fell  to  declaiming  loudly:  — 

"The  castle  where  joyousness  sounded 
Is  shrouded  in  mourning  to-day ; 
On  its  wall  the  wild  weeds  are  growing, 
At  its  gate  the  faithful  dog  howls." 

"Thou  hast  no  reason  to  visit  the  club," 
added  Vasilkevich. 

"What  has  happened?" 

"  Gloom  is  there  now  incubating  a  tempest," 
replied  Augustinovich. 


In  Vain  45 

"  But  say  what  has  happened." 

"  Misfortune." 

"Of  what  sort?" 

"  Ghastly ! " 

"  Vasilkevich,  speak  in  human  fashion  !  " 

"  The  University  government  has  closed  our 
club.  Some  one  declared  that  students  assem- 
ble there." 

"When  did  this  happen?" 

"  Two  hours  since." 

"We  must  go  there  and  learn  on  the 
spot." 

"  I  do  not  advise  thee  to  do  so.  They  will 
put  thee  in  prison." 

"They  will  bind  thy  white  palms  with  a 
rope  —  " 

"  Augustinovich,  be  quiet !  Why  did  they 
not  do  this  in  the  evening?  They  might  have 
caught  us  all  like  fish  in  a  net." 

"  Well,  they  cared  more  for  closing  the  club 
than  for  seizing  us ;  but  were  a  man  to  go  now, 
beyond  doubt  they  would  seize  him." 

"  But  whither  are  ye  going?" 

"  We  are  going  with  a  watchword  of  alarm ; 
the  clans  send  a  fiery  cross  —  " 

"  Speak  low,  I  beg  thee !  " 

"  Yes,  valiant  Roderic." 

"  True,  true,"  interrupted  Vasilkevich ;  u  we 


46  In  Vain 

are  on  the  way  to  warn  others,  so  farewell,  or 
go  with  us." 

"  I  cannot." 

"  Where  wilt  thou  go?" 

"  To  Pani  Helena's." 

"  Farewell." 

"  Till  we  meet  again  !  " 

When  he  was  alone,  Gustav  rubbed  his 
hands,  a  smile  of  satisfaction  lighted  up  his 
gloomy  face  for  a  moment.  He  was  pleased 
with  the  closing  of  the  club,  for  he  ceased 
to  fear  that  Helena,  on  learning  of  Yosefs  de- 
cision, might  wish  to  visit  the  club  to  see  him 
there.  His  fears  were  well  founded.  Gustav 
remembered  that  despite  prayers  and  argu- 
ments he  had  barely,  by  the  promise  of  bring- 
ing Yosef  to  her  lodgings,  been  able  to  restrain 
her  from  this  improper  step.  Now  he  had 
no  cause  for  fear. 

After  a  while  he  pulled  the  bell  at  the 
widow's  dwelling. 

"How  is  thy  mistress?"  asked  he  of  the 
servant  girl. 

"  She  is  well,  but  walking  in  the  room  and 
talking  to  herself." 

Gustav  entered. 

Pani  Helena's  dwelling  was  composed  of  two 
narrow  chambers,  with  windows   looking   out 


In  Vain  47 

on  a  garden;  the  first  chamber  was  a  small 
drawing-room,  the  second  she  used  as  a  bed- 
chamber, which  Gustav  now  entered.  The 
upper  part  of  the  window  in  the  bed-chamber 
was  divided  by  a  narrow  strip  of  wood  from 
the  lower  part,  and  had  colored  panes  arranged 
in  the  form  of  a  flower,  blue  and  red  alternately. 
In  one  corner  stood  a  small  mahogany  table 
covered  with  a  soft  velvet  spread.  On  the  table 
stood  two  portraits ;  one  in  an  inlaid  wooden 
frame  represented  a  young  man  with  a  high 
forehead,  blond  hair,  and  handsome  aristo- 
cratic features,  —  that  was  Potkanski ;  the  other 
was  Pani  Helena.  On  her  knees  was  her  little 
daughter  dressed  in  white.  Before  the  por- 
traits lay  a  garland  of  immortelles  entwined 
with  crape  and  with  a  sprig  of  dry  myrtle. 

At  the  opposite  end  of  the  room,  between 
two  beds  divided  by  a  narrow  space,  was  a 
small  cradle,  now  empty,  once  filled  with  the 
twittering  and  noise  of  an  infant.  Its  cover, 
colored  green  by  the  light  of  the  panes,  seemed 
to  move  slightly.  One  might  have  thought 
that  a  little  hand  would  be  thrust  out  any  mo- 
ment, and  a  joyous  head  look  at  its  mother. 

Silent  sadness  was  in  the  atmosphere  of  the 
place.  The  leaves  of  the  acacia  which  looked 
in  through  the  window  were  outlined  darkly  on 


48  In  Vain 

the  floor,  and,  moved  by  the  wind,  yielded  to 
the  quivering  light  and  returned  again.  Near 
the  door  was  a  small  statuette,  representing  the 
angel  of  baptism  with  hands  extended  as  if  to 
bless ;  at  its  feet  was  a  holy-water  pot. 

At  the  moment  of  which  we  are  speaking 
the  head  of  the  angel  was  bright  in  colored 
gleams,  as  if  with  a  mild  glory  of  sweetness,  of 
repose  and  innocence.  There  was,  moreover, 
great  silence  in  the  chamber.  The  sorrow  of 
that  day  equalled  former  gladness.  What  de- 
light and  prattling  when  Potkanski,  returning 
in  the  evening  tired  with  toil,  embraced  his 
wife  with  one  arm,  and  putting  back  her  golden 
hair,  kissed  her  forehead,  which  at  that  time 
was  calm  and  serene.  How  much  quiet,  deep 
joy  when  they  stood  in  silence  breast  to  breast 
and  eye  to  eye,  like  statues  of  Love !  After- 
ward they  ran  to  the  cradle  where  the  little 
one,  twittering  with  itself  in  various  ways,  and 
raising  its  tiny  feet,  laughed  at  the  happy 
parents. 

Now  the  cradle  was  empty.  Marvellously 
affecting  was  that  cradle.  It  seemed  that  the 
child  was  there. 

More  than  once,  in  the  first  period  of  her 
misfortune,  the  widow,  when  she  woke  in  the 
night,  put  her  hand  carefully  into  the  cradle 


In  Vain  49 

with  the  conviction  that  God  must  have  pitied 
her,  and,  removing  the  child  from  the  coffin, 
placed  it  back  in  the  cradle. 

In  a  word,  those  walls  had  seen  much  joy, 
lulled  by  the  happiness  of  serene  love,  then 
tears  as  large  as  pearls,  then  despair,  which  was 
silent,  deathlike,  and  finally  stubborn,  mad. 

Such  was  the  sleeping-room  of  that  widow, 
and  such  were  the  thoughts  which  were  roused 
at  sight  of  the  apartment.  The  little  drawing- 
room,  like  all  of  its  kind,  had  a  sort  of  slight 
elegance  and  much  emptiness.  In  that  cham- 
ber, too,  the  echoes  of  past  moments  seemed 
to  wander.  It  was  well  lighted,  clean,  but 
common;  the  room  of  the  servant  adjoined 
it,  —  a  small  dark  closet  with  an  entrance  on 
the  stairway  and  a  wooden  partition. 

Such  was  the  former  residence  of  Potkanski. 
After  his  death  it  was  difficult  to  understand 
whence  the  means  came  to  keep  up  such  lodg- 
ings; this,  however,  pertained  to  Gustav,  he 
knew  what  he  was  doing.  There  were  no 
claims  on  the  part  of  the  owner ;  how  this  was 
managed  we  shall  explain  somewhat  later. 

As  often  as  Gustav  entered  that  dwelling  he 
trembled. 

In  a  place  which  was  full  of  her  presence, 
where   everything  that   was   not   she  was  for 

4 


50  In  Vain 

her,  he  felt  always  a  kind  of  weight  on  his 
breast,  as  if  some  hand  were  pressing  his 
heart  down  more  deeply.  But  that  pressure 
was  for  him  delightful.  It  was  a  contraction 
of  his  breast  as  if  to  inhale  more  air.  To  be 
pressed  down  by  a  feeling  of  happiness  is 
almost  to  be  happy,  except  that  beyond  it 
lies  an  immense  shoreless  space  of  desires.  It 
inundates  the  whole  man  then,  enters  into  his 
blood,  manifests  itself  in  the  trembling  of  his 
words,  in  the  glitter  of  his  eyes.  That  desire 
itself  does  not  know  what  it  wants.  Between 
too  little  and  too  much  there  is  no  boundary 
in  the  present  case.  This  is  the  bashful  de- 
sire of  everything.  A  man  is  more  daring 
externally  than  internally;  his  own  words 
frighten  him ;  it  seems  to  him  that  some  one 
else  is  saying  something,  he  guards  his  own 
glances,  he  wants  to  laugh  spasmodically  or 
to  burst  out  sobbing.  He  loves,  he  honors, 
he  makes  an  angel  of  a  woman,  and  then 
desires  that  same  angel  as  a  woman. 

Gustav  experienced  this  when  he  entered 
the  widow's  apartments.  Every  kind  of  de- 
sire which  spirit  and  blood  joined  together 
can  summon,  flew  to  him  from  all  sides,  like 
flocks  of  winged  creatures. 

She  stood  before  him.     She  was  pale;   on 


In  Vain  51 

her  lips  appeared  a  slight  trace  of  ruddiness. 
Her  delicate  profile  was  outlined  on  the  back- 
ground of  the  window  like  a  silhouette.  She 
held  a  comb  in  her  hand,  and,  standing  before 
the  small  silver-framed  mirror,  was  combing 
her  hair.  Luxuriant  tresses  wound  like  waves 
around  her  pale  forehead.  That  golden  mass 
flowed  down  over  her  shoulders  and  breast, 
and  seemed  to  drop  like  amber. 

Seeing  Gustav,  she  greeted  him  with  her 
hand  and  with  a  barely  perceptible  smile. 

The  widow  had  emerged  from  her  former 
lethargy.  That  sudden  and  violent  shock  which 
the  sight  of  Yosef  at  the  restaurant  had  called 
forth  roused  her,  enlivened  her.  She  began  to 
think.  One  thing  alone  was  she  unable  at  first 
to  explain.  Yosefs  form  was  so  confounded 
in  her  mind  with  that  of  Potkanski  that  she 
did  not  know  herself  which  was  her  former 
husband.  That  was  the  remnant  of  her  in- 
sanity. But  soon  a  ray  of  light  returned  to 
that  beclouded  mind.  She  begged  Gustav  to 
let  her  see  Yosef.  Gustav,  though  unwilling, 
agreed  to  this.  With  yearning  did  she  wait 
for  the  evening  when  she  was  to  look  at  that 
reminder  of  her  former  happiness.  Not  Yosef 
was  she  seeking,  but  the  reminder;  hence  he 
was  for  her  an  absolute  necessity. 


52  In  Vain 

Then  gradually  and  quite  imperceptibly  the 
past  changed  into  the  present,  the  dream  into 
a  reality.  Yosef,  noting  this,  had  promised 
Gustav  not  to  visit  her  ;  to  prepare  Helena 
and  announce  this  news  to  her  pertained  to 
Gustav. 

It  was  easy  to  foresee  the  impression  which 
this  would  make.  She  clasped  her  hands  and 
threw  back  her  head.  A  torrent  of  hair  cov- 
ered her  shoulders  with  a  rustle. 

"  Where  shall  I  see  him?  "  asked  she,  insist- 
ently. 

Gustav  was  silent. 

"  I  must  see  him  here  or  elsewhere.  He  is 
so  like  Kazimir —  My  God,  I  live  entirely 
by  that  memory,  Pan  Gustav." 

Gustav  was  silent.  He  was  made  almost 
indignant  by  that  blind  egotism  of  Pani  Helena. 
The  drama  began  to  play  in  him  again.  She 
begged  him  to  do  everything  to  undermine  his 
own  happiness.  No !  to  act  thus  he  would 
have  to  be  a  fool.  But  on  the  other  hand  — 
it  was  Helena  who  made  the  prayer.  He  bit 
his  lips  till  the  blood  came,  and  was  silent. 
Moreover,  something  belongs  to  him  even  from 
life.  Everything  that  in  him  made  up  the  man 
opposed  her  prayers  with  desperate  energy. 
Meanwhile  she  continued  to  urge, — 


In  Vain  53 

"Pan  Gustav,  you  will  arrange  so  that  I 
shall  see  him  ?  I  wish  to  see  him.  Why  do 
you  do  me  such  an  injustice?" 

Cold  sweat  covered  Gustav's  forehead;  he 
stretched  his  hands  to  his  face,  and  in  a  gloomy 
voice  answered,  — 

"  I  do  you  no  injustice,  but "  —  here  his  voice 
quivered,  he  made  an  effort  not  to  fall  at 
her  feet  and  cry  out,  "  But  I  love  thee,  do 
not  torture  me!"  —  **  he  does  not  wish  to 
come  here,"  concluded  he,  almost  inaudibly. 

He  would  have  given  much  to  avoid  this 
moment.  Helena  covered  her  face  with  her 
hands  and  dropped  into  the  armchair.  Silence 
continued  for  a  while,  and  the  rustling  of  leaves 
was  heard  outside  the  window;  inside  the 
soul  of  a  man  was  writhing  in  a  conflict  with 
itself.  To  bring  Yosef,  to  take  Helena  from 
him,  was  for  Gustav  to  unbridle  misfortune. 

The  struggle  was  brief;  he  knelt  before 
Helena,  and  putting  his  lips  to  her  hand,  said 
in  a  broken  voice, — 

"  I  shr.ll  do  what  I  can.  He  will  come  here. 
What  am  I  to  any  one?  He  will  come,  but  I 
cannot  tell  when  —  I  will  bring  him  myself." 

Soon  after,  in  leaving  the  widow's  lodgings, 
he  muttered  through  his  set  teeth,  — 

"  Yes,  he  will  come ;   but  it  is  not  I  who  will 


54  In  Vain 

bring  him  —  he  will  come  in  a  month  —  in  two 
months  —  perhaps  I  shall  be  at  rest." 

An  attack  of  coughing  interrupted  further 
meditation.  Gustav  wandered  through  the 
streets  for  a  long  time;  when  he  returned 
home,  it  struck  two  in  the  church  belfry. 

Yosef  was  sleeping ;  he  was  breathing  uni- 
formly, quietly ;  the  light  of  the  lamp  fell  on 
his  high  forehead  and  open  breast.  Gustav 
looked  feverishly  at  that  breast.  His  eyes 
gleamed  with  hatred.  He  sat  thus  about  an 
hour.  All  at  once  he  trembled,  he  came  to 
himself.  A  sensation  was  roused  in  him  en- 
tirely opposite  to  any  which  he  had  felt  up  to 
that  moment,  a  sensation  of  hunger;  he  went 
to  the  book-shelves,  and  taking  a  piece  of 
brown  bread,  fell  to  eating  it  hastily. 


In  Vain  55 


CHAPTER  IV 

Autumn  was  approaching.  It  was  cold  in  the 
rooms  of  the  poorer  students.  Wrapped  in 
their  blankets  and  wearing  caps,  they  warmed 
themselves  with  study.  The  rooms  of  those 
who  had  something  with  which  to  heat  their 
stoves  were  swarming  with  comrades.  No  one 
visited  the  club  any  longer.  At  first  there 
were  efforts  to  select  some  other  place  for  a 
club,  but  it  ended  in  nothing,  because  Gustav 
on  the  one  hand,  and  on  the  other  Yosef,  who 
had  acquired  considerable  influence  among 
students,  resisted  together;  more  especially 
Yosef,  who  held  that  clubs  consumed  too  much 
time  and  were  of  small  utility.  He  desired 
to  introduce  reform  in  this  regard,  and  at 
last  he  succeeded.  In  spite  of  all  opposing 
opinions  he  combated  for  that  idea  in  the 
University,  and  especially  at  Vasilkevich's 
rooms,  where  students  met  with  more  willing- 
ness than  elsewhere. 

Vasilkevich  roomed  with  Karvovski,  or 
rather  the  latter  with  Vasilkevich,  for  though 
Karvovski  was  very  wealthy  (he  was  that  pale 


56  In  Vain 

youth  who  had  played  on  the  piano  to  his 
comrades  in  the  club)  and  paid  by  far  the 
greater  part  of  the  rent  for  their  lodgings,  the 
soul  and  the  pivot  of  this  male  housekeeping 
was  our  Lithuanian. 

The  friendship  between  these  two  young 
men  deserved  admiration  and  even  envy.  One, 
delicate,  pampered,  beautiful,  with  a  head  full 
of  the  loftiest  dreams,  mild-mannered  and  be- 
loved of  all,  slipped  lightly  through  life  in 
comfort  and  plenty.  The  other,  a  genuine 
Lithuanian;  ugly  in  appearance,  pock-marked, 
with  closely  cut  hair  and  flashing  eyes,  viva- 
cious, laborious,  energetic,  and  profoundly  in- 
structed, was  for  the  first  as  a  guardian  or 
elder  brother. 

Vasilkevich  possessed  a  warm  heart,  and 
was  made,  as  the  phrase  runs,  for  the  palm  of 
the  hand.  Once  when  Karvovski  fell  danger- 
ously ill,  he  nursed  him  night  and  day  with 
real  unparalleled  self-denial,  and  when  at  last 
he  recovered,  the  Lithuanian  wept  and  scolded 
him  from  delight.  "  Oh,  thou  jester,"  said  he, 
"  what  a  trick  for  thee  to  fall  ill ;  but  just  try 
it  a  second  time  !  " 

The  students  called  them  a  chosen  pair,  and 
an  old  blind  grandfather  (minstrel)  of  the 
Ukraine  who  begged  not  far  from  their  lodgings 


In  Vain  57 

and  to  whom  they  gave  frequent  alms,  spoke 
of  them  as  the  u  kind-hearted  young  lords." 

Many  circumstances  united  them,  but  es- 
pecially one  which  we  shall  mention  imme- 
diately. They  spent  a  summer  vacation  in 
the  country  at  Karvovski's.  Karvovski  had 
a  sister,  weakly  and.  not  comely,  but  with 
wonderful  kindness  of  heart,  quiet,  calm,  a 
genuine  angel,  with  a  sunburnt  little  face  and 
a  fragile  figure.  That  young  maiden  was  loved 
by  Vasilkevich ;  he  loved  her  in  his  own  way, 
very  deeply,  with  faith  in  her  and  in  his  love, 
and,  what  is  more,  she  loved  him.  Her  parents 
did  not  know  much  of  the  matter,  or  if  they 
did  know  they  had  no  wish  to  hinder  the 
young  people.  The  maiden  was  ill-favored,  he 
was  honest  and  reliable;  these  facts  balanced 
the  small  inequality  of  social  position.  More- 
over, they  did  not  wish  to  deprive  their  son  of 
a  society  which  in  every  regard  could  be 
only  of  use  to  him. 

This  Lithuanian  had  another  good  side ;  he 
loved  his  parents  beyond  everything,  —  the 
"  old  people,"  as  he  called  them.  These  old  peo- 
ple lived  in  remotest  Jmud,  near  Livonia ;  they 
were  poor,  their  son  helped  them.  His  father 
was  a  forester.  The  old  man  had  a  small  home 
in  the  wilderness ;  round  about  him  the  forest 


58  In  Vain 

sounded  and  the  wave  plashed;  beyond  the 
forest  and  the  wave  were  other  forests  and 
other  waves,  —  a  remote  corner  it  was  behind 
the  lakes.  The  devil  lived  there,  according 
to  local  traditions,  but  somehow  that  devil  did 
not  trouble  the  old  people.  Such  was  the  place 
in  which  Vasilkevich  first  saw  the  light  of  day. 

When  as  a  boy  he  went  fishing,  he  met 
ducks  beyond  the  lake,  he  found  nests  in  the 
swamps.  He  was  of  a  healthy  and  active  dis- 
position. Nature  had  cradled  him;  he  was 
taught  by  birds,  water,  and  trees.  From  the 
fern  of  the  forest  to  the  birch  which  knew  not 
where  in  the  heavens  to  put  its  head,  all  was 
for  him  a  book  the  first  words  of  which  he 
himself  learned  to  read.  The  birds  of  the 
Commonwealth  explained  their  laws  to  him; 
once  he  saw  how  beavers  made  dams  with 
their  tails  in  the  rivers ;  he  knew  that  by  fol- 
lowing the  voice  of  the  bee-eater  he  could  find 
hidden  bee-nests ;  he  knew  how  to  take  their 
young  from  the  badgers.  He  even  brought 
home  young  wolves  to  the  house  with  him. 

When  he  had  grown  up  sufficiently,  his 
father  taught  him  to  read ;  the  old  man  drew 
out  of  a  box  some  rusty  coins,  and  sent  the 
boy  to  school;  then  difficult  times  set  in. 
There  was  need  to  learn ;  so  he  learned.     It 


In  Vain  59 

would  be  a  long  tale  to  tell  how  much  and 
what  he  passed  through  before  he  reached  the 
University  and  began  to  be  the  man  whom 
we  know  at  present. 

His  parents  returned  his  love  a  hundred-fold. 
In  truth,  they  were  a  pair  of  doves  whitened 
by  age,  loving  each  other,  in  agreement  and 
happiness. 

Happiness  and  peace  dwelt  in  that  cottage. 
Such  bright  spots  on  the  earth  are  met  with, 
though  rarely,  like  oases  in  a  desert.  The  old 
people  enjoyed  each  other,  and  went  side  by 
side  as  in  the  first  days  after  marriage ;  they 
called  each  other  falcon  and  berry.  What  joy 
there  was  when  that  son  came  home  for  vaca- 
tion, no  tongue  can  tell,  no  pen  can  describe. 
With  Vasilkevich  came  Karvovski.  The  old 
people  loved  and  petted  him  also,  but  he  was 
not  for  them  as  their  Yasek,  whom  they  simply 
called  "  Ours." 

Often  when  the  young  men  were  tired  from 
racing  a  whole  day  through  the  wilderness, 
the  old  people  after  going  to  bed  talked 
in  a  low  voice  about  them.  This  is  what 
Karvovski  heard  once  through  their  chamber 
partition,  — 

"He  is  a  handsome  boy,  that  Karvovski," 
said  the  old  man. 


60  In  Vain 

"  But  ours  is  handsomer,"  answered  the  old 
woman. 

"  Oh,  handsomer,  handsomer !  " 

Meanwhile  that  "  Ours  "  was  what  is  called 
ugly,  but  through  the  prism  of  parental  love 
he  seemed  the  most  beautiful  on  earth.  (Jt 
is  not  reality  itself,  but  the  heart  with  which 
we  approach  it  that  gives  things  their  form 
and  color.) 

But  let  us  return  to  Kieff  and  to  our  ac- 
quaintances. 

It  is  nothing  wonderful  that  with  such  hosts 
as  Vasilkevich  and  Karvovski  their  dwelling, 
in  which  among  other  things  stood  a  perfect 
stove,  became  a  centre  for  many  students. 
Even  the  intelligence  of  the  University  as- 
sembled there;  literary  evenings  were  estab- 
lished. All  who  felt  a  vein  for  letters  made 
public  their  productions  in  those  rooms. 
The  long  autumn  evenings  were  turned  into 
genuine  literary  sessions.  It  would  be  diffi- 
cult to  enumerate  the  burning  thoughts  which 
were  uttered  there  by  youthful  lips. 

Vasilkevich,  Karvovski,  Yosef,  in  a  little 
while  Gustav,  and  especially  Augustinovich, 
took  the  lead  in  those  meetings.  Yosef  tried 
his  creative  powers,  but  somehow  he  did  not 
succeed,  he  had  not  the  talent,  simply;  he  did 


In  Vain  61 

not  know  how  to  fashion,  how  to  create,  how  to 
attach  his  own  ideas  to  that  golden  thread  of 
fantasy  which  bathes  all  things  in  rainbow 
tints  before  it  gives  them  to  the  world  warmed 
and  illuminated,  or  bright  as  a  summer  night's 
lightning. 

But  in  recompense  he  had  another  kind  of 
power.  He  judged  soundly,  and  what  is  more, 
with  keenness.  After  he  had  read  a  produc- 
tion of  his  own  he  analyzed  it  in  presence  of 
all ;  joyous  laughter  continued  till  late  in  the 
apartments.  In  like  manner  did  he  treat  the 
productions  of  others;  if  he  ridiculed  the 
chips  flew  from  those  first  offerings  placed  on 
the  altar  of  art.  He  was  able  so  to  arrange 
his  voice  and  expression  of  face  to  the  cur- 
rent of  his  words  that  when  he  wished  the 
gloomiest  subject  roused  the  most  laughter. 
This  obtained  for  him  great  consideration. 
Those  who,  feeling  a  sympathy  for  the  moon, 
struck  the  sentimental  chords  of  their  hearts, 
dreaded  him  as  they  might  have  dreaded  Satan. 

Vasilkevich  described  his  Lithuanian  lakes 
and  forests  pithily.  From  time  to  time  Karvov- 
ski  permitted  himself  lyric  verses  in  which  dew, 
tears,  lilies  of  the  valley,  and  sighs  spoke  with 
each  other  in  the  manner  of  people.  In  this 
case  it  was  not  a  question  of  judgment,  but  of 


62  In  Vain 

the  love  of  a  village  shepherd  for  a  birch  of 
the  field  which  after  his  death  "  took  up  and 
withered,"  according  to  the  words  of  those 
pathetic  verses. 

There  were  better  and  worse  things  in  that 
assembly ;  humor  appeared  often,  but  at  times 
something  superior  which  was  worth  listening 
to,  especially  since  by  degrees  through  exercise 
and  criticism  capacities  of  greater  or  less  power 
were  manifested. 

But  Augustinovich  towered  above  every  one 
at  all  times.  It  happened  more  than  once,  God 
forgive,  that  he  came  drunk  to  the  meeting,  his 
manuscript  crushed,  soiled,  and  written  frag- 
mentary on  anything ;  but  when  he  began  to 
read  all  else  was  forgotten,  the  soul  clung  to  his 
words.  More  than  one  student  used  hands 
and  head,  drew  out  of  himself  all  that  was  best, 
wrote  a  thing  that  was  more  or  less  good,  but 
common.  "That  lurking  soul"  caught  up 
a  pen  right  there  in  the  room  amid  noise  and 
conversation,  but  sheets  and  sheets  flew  from 
his  hand  and  dropped  under  the  table.  When 
he  had  finished  writing  he  picked  up  the 
sheets,  arranged  them,  and  sat  down  with 
indifference;  but  all  listened,  and  more  than 
one  man  envied  him  secretly.  His  figures 
were  as  if  living,  so  complete  were  they ;  under 


In  Vain  63 

the  wave  of  his  words  thought  flowed  in  a 
hundred  colors,  like  a  serpent  glittering  with 
jewels.  When  he  spoke  of  love  you  felt  the 
beating  of  a  beloved  heart  on  your  own;  when 
he  rose  with  the  strength  of  enthusiasm,  the 
thunder  of  words  roared,  and  the  mind  dazzled 
by  lightning  flashes  quivered  in  fear;  when 
in  the  low  fall  of  words  he  depicted  some  feel- 
ing touchingly,  the  odor  of  roses  and  myrtle 
was  discovered  in  the  air,  the  fern  blossomed 
in  the  moonlight,  from  some  place  beyond  the 
forest  and  the  pine  wood,  the  song  of  a  maiden 
floated  out  on  the  dew. 

Ah,  he  was  gifted !  Beautiful  words  and 
beautiful  thoughts  fell  from  him  of  themselves, 
not  having  apparent  connection  with  the  man. 
Those  were  blossoms  on  a  quagmire.  Revela- 
tions of  humor,  in  which  moral  fall  accompanied 
cynicism,  testified  best  of  all  to  this. 

"  Ei,  Augustinovich  !  Augustinovich  !  "  said 
the  students  to  him  then,  "  with  thy  gifts,  were 
there  not  such  a  devil  in  thee,  what  couldst 
thou  not  do,  O  thou  scapegrace !  " 

"  For  this  very  reason  I  wish  to  drown  him. 
Have  ye  not  something  here  to  drink?"  re- 
plied he. 

Gustav  had  been  present  at  those  meetings 
a  few  times ;   but  he  did  not  like  Karvovski, 


64  In  Vain 

simply  because  all  liked  him.  The  more  diffi- 
cult his  career  was,  the  more  clouds  obscured 
the  horizon  of  his  love,  the  more  irritable  and 
embittered  did  he  become.  Passionate  and 
unsuccessful  attachments  have  this  peculiarity, 
that  they  develop  hatreds  just  as  passionate. 
Such  a  hatred  not  directed  to  any  person  or 
thing  yet  had  occupied  Gustav's  breast  and  was 
resting  like  rust  in  it.  He  hated  all  who  had 
what  he  lacked.  He  felt  as  if  wronged,  and 
for  every  wrong  such  natures  are  accustomed 
to  pay,  even  though  they  pay  only  in  theory. 

He  withdrew,  therefore,  from  the  society  of 
students,  though  among  them  alone  existed 
hearts  which  could  beat  for  him.  He  knew 
this,  and  in  spite  of  his  hatred  for  all  men  he 
loved  students ;  still  he  shut  himself  up  within 
his  own  bosom.  Sympathy  humiliated  him. 
He  suspected  the  existence  of  pity  in  all 
places,  and  was  afraid  of  it. 

Finally,  they  learned  this,  that  Yosef  had 
promised  him  not  to  visit  Helena.  This  in- 
formation had  not  come  from  Yosef,  but  from 
Gustav  himself;  he  had  told  it  in  a  moment  of 
irritation.  Naturally  this  raised  Yosef  in  the 
opinion  of  his  comrades.  Gustav  was  angry. 
Between  him  and  Yosef  a  dark  cloud  of  dis- 
like had  intervened. 


In  Vain  65 

The  widow  spoke  to  him  of  Yosef  with 
greater  and  greater  insistence,  with  increasing 
force,  with  rising  passion.  A  process  of  ill- 
omen  for  Gustav,  as  Gustav  himself  thought, 
took  place  in  her.  The  deceased  Potkanski 
became  more  and  more  incarnate  in  Yosef;  in 
this  new  figure  Potkanski  was  dissolved  and 
lost.  By  degrees,  and  just  through  long  sepa- 
ration, the  enthusiastic  heart  of  Helena  remem- 
bered Yosef  more  and  more,  but  now  for  the 
sake   of  himself. 

A  new  epoch  of  resuscitated  happiness  for 
the  widow,  of  dying  hope  for  Gustav,  emerged 
gradually,  urged  on  by  the  rude  hand  of  neces- 
sity, •*-  an  epoch  born  of  tears,  chance,  and 
pain. 

"  I  may  not,  I  may  not  be  long  in  peace !  " 
thought  he.  "  But  happen  what  may,  I  will 
not  bring  him  here  a  second  time." 

Every  one  will  divine  easily  what  was  hidden 
under  a  reflection  of  that  sort.  Gustav  judged 
that  he  would  be  able  to  stifle  himself  by  work, 
—  he  was  more  and  more  wearied;  happy 
moments  he  had  only  in  sleep. 

Once  he  dreamed  that  he  was  at  Helena's 

knees  and  kissing  her  hands ;  he  felt  distinctly 

her  dear  palms  on  his  heart.     Then  in   the 

dream  excitement  of  passion  he  found  her  lips 

5 


66  In  Vain 

with  his  lips,  and  almost  suffered  from  excess 
of  delight. 

After  that  came  awakening. 

He  saw  her  daily,  —  he  was  so  near  to  her 
and  always  so  distant 

He  grew  thinner  and  more  emaciated  ;  in  his 
eyes  shone  feverish  gleams  of  unbending  will. 
That  fever  exhausted  him,  but  kept  him  on  his 
feet. 

"  I  am  curious  to  know  what  will  come  of 
this,"  muttered  he  through  his  parched  lips. 

But  there  was  one  side  almost  sublime  in 
this  gloomy  exertion  of  suffering.  Gustav  was 
not  dreaming.  He  took  life  as  it  was,  not  as 
it  might  be.  In  spite  of  the  sad  condition  of 
his  health,  he  knew  how  to  work,  and  worked 
more  than  ever.  To  come  from  Pani  Helena 
and  sit  down  to  toil  needed  no  common 
strength, —  such  victories  he  won  over  his  own 
nature  daily.  He  gathered  about  him  a  num- 
ber of  the  most  capable  men,  and  as  it  were  to 
compare  them  with  the  assemblies  at  Vasilke- 
vich's,  he  organized  a  circle  laboring  only  sci- 
entifically. He  and  two  fellow-students  were 
writing  a  grammar  of  the  Lettish  languages ; 
in  spite  of  continual  disputes  with  his  co- 
workers, he  stood  at  the  head  of  this  labor, 
and  what  he  stole  from  suffering  he  gave  to  it. 


In  Vain  67 


CHAPTER  V 

Nothing  could  be  more  irritating  than  the 
relations  of  these  students. 

They  lived  together. 

At  last  Gustav  on  returning  one  day  from 
Pani  Helena's  found  Yosefs  effects  packed. 
Yosef  himself  was  occupied  in  arranging  his 
books  and  linen. 

Both  were  silent  till  all  was  ready;  then 
Yosef  said,  — 

0  Gustav,  farewell !  I  am  moving  out." 

Gustav  reached  him  his  hand  without  say- 
ing a  word.     They  parted  coldly. 

On  the  road  Vasilkevich  met  Yosef. 

"  Ho  !  What  is  this?  "  inquired  he.  "  Art 
thou  moving?" 

"Thou  knowest  my  relations  with  Gustav, 
judge  thyself  if  I  can  live  with  him  longer." 

"But  this  is  clear,  it  was  not  well  for 
thee  to  leave  him  in  his  present  condition  of 
health." 

"  I  understand,  but  I  assure  thee  that  I  can 
only  irritate  him.     Thou  knowest  what  I  have 


68  In  Vain 

done  for  Gustav;  he  has  no  real  reason  to 
dislike  me;  but  still  —  " 

Vasilkevich  pressed  his  hand. 

Yosef's  new  lodgings  were  in  a  house  of 
several  stories.  They  consisted  of  two  large 
and  good-looking  rooms.  Besides  the  money 
which  he  had  brought  from  home,  Yosef  im- 
mediately after  his  arrival  found  means  which 
permitted  him  to  save  his  capital  to  the  ut- 
most. He  began  to  think  then  of  a  more 
comfortable  mode  of  life,  and  at  last  arranged 
things  far  better  really  than  at  the  beginning. 
From  the  first  glance  one  might  note  ease  and 
plenty  in  the  new  dwelling.  The  bed  was  made 
in  good  order  every  day,  the  floor  swept,  and 
in  the  small  porcelain  stove  a  cheerful  fire 
burned  daily,  toward  evening  —  it  was  so  com- 
fortable there  that  the  soul  rejoiced ! 

For  that  matter,  the  whole  house  was  far 
better  arranged  than  the  other,  it  was  even 
elegant.  On  the  first  story  lived  some  general 
with  his  wife  and  two  daughters,  as  ugly  as  two 
winter  nights ;  on  the  second  story  lived  Yosef, 
and  a  French  engineer  from  whom  the  rooms 
were  hired;  and  on  the  third  some  reduced 
count,  a  man  immensely  rich  on  a  time,  per- 
haps, but  at  that  moment  bankrupt ;  he  lived 
in   three   or   four   rooms   with   his   grown-up 


lit  Vain  69 

daughter  and  two  or  three  servant-maids  from 
the  Ukraine.     Such  were  Yosef's  neighbors. 

Soon  they  gave  evidence  of  themselves,  for 
all  day  in  the  engineer's  rooms  groaned  a 
piano  at  which  children  were  learning  to  play 
all  the  contra-dances  ever  danced  up  to  that 
time  in  any  land ;  at  the  general's  were  con- 
tinual amusements,  dances,  and  evening  parties. 
Whole  nights  through  there  was  stamping 
there,  as  in  a  mill,  servants  moving  about  on 
the  stairway ;  there  was  no  lack  of  noise  and 
rattle. 

The  count  alone  lived  quietly.  There  is 
nothing  wonderful  in  this,  that  he  and  his 
daughter  sat  there  meditating  sadly  over  their 
own  ruin  like  Jews  over  the  ruins  of  Jerusalem. 
Yosef  of  course  did  not  know  them  yet,  but 
at  times  about  dusk,  by  the  clatter  on  the 
stairs  and  the  heavy  tread,  he  divined  that  the 
old  count  was  taking  his  daughter  to  walk; 
but  not  being  fond  of  titles  or  coronets,  he  had 
in  truth  no  curiosity  to  look  at  them. 

Once,  however,  he  saw  something  which  in- 
terested him  more.  A  certain  day,  while  going 
to  his  room,  he  saw  between  the  first  story  and 
the  second  a  certain  bust  bent  over  the  banis- 
ters with  a  head  altogether  shapely,  blue  eyes, 
and  dark  hair.    Those  eyes,  shaded  by  a  hand, 


jo  In  Vain 

were  looking  carefully  for  something  in  the 
half  light  of  the  passage.  Seeing  Yosef,  the 
head  pushed  forward,  and  with  it  the  body, 
and  when  the  student  hurried  on,  wishing  to 
see  the  young  lady  more  nearly,  he  saw  only 
two  small  feet  in  black  boots  and  white  stock- 
ings. The  feet  were  fleeing  upstairs  with  all 
speed. 

"  Ah,  that  is  the  countess  then !  "  thought 
he. 

The  countess  roused  his  curiosity.  He  did 
not  know  himself  why  in  the  dusk  sitting  in 
front  of  the  fire  he  saw  definitely  before  him 
that  pair  of  eyes  covered  with  the  hand,  the 
white  forehead  surrounded  with  curls  of  dark 
hair,  and  the  feet  in  black  boots. 

A  couple  of  evenings  later  when  at  an  ad- 
vanced hour  he  had  put  out  the  light  and  lain 
down  in  bed,  he  heard  some  voice  singing 
a  melancholy  song  in  Italian.  The  passage 
and  Yosefs  room  also  were  filled  with  those 
tones,  youthful,  resonant,  sympathetic;  the 
fond  and  passionate  adjurations  and  reproaches 
were  given  out  with  a  marvellous  charm;  in 
the  stillness  of  night  the  words  came  forth 
clearly. 

"  Ah  !  the  countess  is  singing !  "  murmured 
Yosef. 


In  Vain  71 

Next  morning  early,  he  knew  not  why,  while 
dressing  and  rubbing  his  hands  with  soap  stub- 
bornly, he  sang  with  much  pathos  as  if  to  lend 
himself  energy. 

But  soon  he  ceased ;  the  widow  came  to  his 
mind  instead  of  the  countess.  "  That  woman 
either  loves  me  already,  or  she  would  love  me 
very  soon,"  thought  he.  He  wished  the  return 
of  those  moments  during  which  he  had  looked 
into  her  eyes.  "  What  a  strange  woman !  " 
thought  he.  "  How  that  Potkanski  must  have 
loved  her  —  ha!  and  Gustav  !  "  He  frowned. 
"  If  I  go  there,  will  he  not  grieve  to  death,  will 
he  not  poison  himself?  That  love  will  ruin 
him  —  h'm !  Each  answers  for  himself.  But  I 
am  curious  to  know  what  she  says  since  I  do 
not  visit  her." 

Thenceforth  that  moment  recurred  to  his 
mind  frequently  when  she,  so ,  pale  and  with 
outstretched  arms,  exclaimed,  "  I  have  found 
thee,  my  Kazimir  !  " 

If  only  he  wished,  he  could  go  to  her,  love 
her,  and  be  loved  by  her. 

This  plan  of  probable  love  did  not  let  him 
sleep.  Like  every  young  man,  he  felt  the  need 
of  love ;  his  heart  beat  violently,  as  if  it  wanted 
to  burst,  broken  by  its  own  strength.  And  so 
far  he  knew  no  woman  except  the  widow.    The 


72  In  Vain 

black  boots  and  white  stockings  of  the  coun- 
tess passed  before  his  eyes,  but  that  slight 
imagining  vanished  into  nothingness. 

He  remembered  meanwhile  how  on  a  certain 
time  during  conversation  he  had  held  the 
widow's  hand  ;  he  remembered  what  a  wish  he 
had  had  to  kiss  it,  but  he  remembered  also  how 
ominously  Gustav's  eyes  were  glittering  at  that 
moment.  Jealousy  seized  him.  Occasionally  a 
scarcely  visible  cloud,  regret  for  a  premature 
promise,  sped  past  in  his  soul  and  hid  some- 
where in  its  darkest  caves.  Then  he  repeated 
in  a  very  tragic  tone,  "  I  have  promised,  I  will 
not  go." 

One  thing  more  angered  him,  —  to  people 
respected  and  more  advanced  in  life  this  would 
seem  a  paradox,  —  the  quiet  of  life  angered  him. 
Science  came  to  him  easily,  he  did  not  expend 
all  his  powers,  and  this  roused  distaste  in  him. 
Fresh,  active  natures,  like  young  soldiers,  feel 
a  need  of  bathing  in  the  fire  of  battle.  This 
desire  of  his  to  fight  which  at  a  more  advanced 
age  seems  to  us  improbable,  becomes  in  certain 
years,  and  quite  seriously,  one  of  the  needs  of 
the  spirit.  Let  us  remember  Yosef's  mono- 
logue in  Gustav's  room,  the  first  day  of  his  com- 
ing to  Kieff.  He  wanted  then  to  throw  down 
the  gauntlet  in  the   name   of  science  or  th 


In  Vain  73 

name  of  feeling,  before  the  whole  world. 
Young  eagles  try  to  fly  with  a  cloud  above 
them  and  an  abyss  underneath.  Even  the 
most  common  man,  before  learning  that  he  is 
a  turtle,  has  moments  in  which  he  thinks  him- 
self an  eagle. 

In  such  a  condition  was  Yosef,  and  in  this 
case  there  was  simply  no  one  with  whom  to  be 
at  sword's-points. 

In  the  University  he  had  a  greater  or  less 
number  of  adherents,  a  field  in  the  wide  world 
might  open,  but  Yosef  did  not  know  this  wide 
world  yet. 

Suddenlysomething  happened  which  snatched 
him  from  his  lethargy. 

Augustinovich  had  acted  in  a  way  that 
offended  the  honor  of  students.  They  deter- 
mined to  expel  him. 

That  was  not  his  first  offence,  but  the 
students  had  always  passed  those  matters  over 
among  themselves,  not  wishing  to  be  com- 
promised in  public  opinion;  now  the  measure 
had  been  exceeded.  We  will  not  acquaint  the 
reader  with  the  offence ;  what  concern  have  we 
with  foulness?  It  is  enough  that  a  court  com- 
posed of  students  had  decided  to  expel  the 
offender.  From  such  decisions  there  was  no 
appeal,  for   the  University  authorities  always 


74  In  Vain 

confirmed  them ;  an  appeal  would  only  make 
it  more  widely  known. 

Indignation  among  students  was  great;  no 
one  took  the  part  of  Augustinovich  except 
Yosef,  who  rousing  half  the  University  exerted 
his  power  to  save  the  man. 

"  You  wish  to  expel  him,"  said  he,  at  a  very 
stormy  meeting.  "You  wish  to  expel  him? 
But  do  you  think  that  after  he  has  left  the  Uni- 
versity he  will  not  bring  shame  to  you?  What 
will  he  do  with  himself?  Where  will  he  go? 
How  will  he  find  means  of  living?  How  will 
he  maintain  himself?  And  do  you  know  why 
he  fell?  No! — Ask  him  when  he  has  eaten 
a  dinner.  We  are  among  ourselves.  Raise 
either  of  his  feet,  the  right  or  the  left,  all  the 
same  !  If  under  his  boots  you  find  one  sound 
sole,  expel  him.  As  to  me  I  declare,  and  may 
the  thunderbolts  split  any  one  who  will  say 
otherwise,  that  we  ought  to  save,  not  to  ruin 
him.  Give  him  salvation,  give  him  bread  — 
take  him  on  your  own  responsibility!" 

"Who  will  answer  for  him?"  asked  one  of 
Augustinovich's  opponents. 

"  I !  "  shouted  Yosef  in  a  thundering  voice; 
and  he  threw  his  cap  on  the  floor. 

There  was  uproar  and  confusion  in  the 
room.     Vasilkevich  supported  Yosef  with  all 

i 


In  Vain  75 

his  influence,  others  insisted  on  his  expulsion, 
there  was  no  "  small  uproar."  Yosef  sprang 
onto  a  bench,  and  turning  to  Augustinovich 
shouted, — 

"  They  forgive  thee  !     Come  with  me." 

He  left  the  room,  rubbing  his  hands  with 
internal  delight,  and  cried,  — 

"  It  would  be  a  pity  to  lose  such  a  head ! 
Besides,  let  them  eat  the  devil  if  they  act  with- 
out me  now !  " 

"Why  didst  thou  save  me?"  inquired 
Augustinovich. 

Yosef  turned  a  severe  face  toward  him  ajid 
said, — 

"  To-day  thou  wilt  move  into  my  lodgings." 

Meanwhile  another  drama  was  played  in 
Pani  Helena's  lodgings.  She  was  a  most  pe- 
culiar person;  she  could  riot  exist,  she  knew 
not  how  to  exist,  without  attaching  her  life 
to  some  feeling.  Her  first  chance  had  been 
fortunate ;  she  proved  a  model  wife  and  mother. 
It  had  seemed  to  her  that  she  found  salvation 
in  Yosef,  and  now  months  had  passed  since 
she  had  seen  him;  and  she  desired  him  the 
more,  the  more  persistently  Gustav  resisted. 

The  last  struggle  of  these  directly  opposing 
forces  had  to  come. 

"  If  thou  wilt  not  return  him  to  me,"  said 


76  In  Vain 

the  widow  in  tears,  one  evening,  "  I  will  go 
myself  to  find  him.  I  am  ready  to  kneel  down 
before  thee  and  beg  on  my  knees  for  him, 
Gustav!  Thou  sayest  that  Kazimir  begged 
thee  to  have  care  over  me ;  so  I  implore  thee 
in  his  name.  O  God,  O  God !  Thou  dost 
not  understand  that  it  is  possible  to  suffer; 
thou  hast  never  loved,  of  course." 

"I,  Pani !  have  never  loved?"  repeated 
Gustav,  in  a  very  low  voice;  and  in  his  eyes 
real  pain  was  evident.  "  Perhaps  thou  art 
speaking  the  truth.  Then  thou  hast  observed 
nothing,  hast  seen  nothing?  I  know  not  my- 
self that  I  have  loved  any  one  except  —  O  God, 
what  do  I  utter !  —  except  thee  alone." 

He  threw  himself  at  Helena's  feet. 

Great  silence  followed.  One  might  have 
said  that  the  two  persons  had  become  stone,  — 
she  bent  backward,  with  her  hands  over  her 
face,  he  at  her  feet.  They  continued  in  this 
posture,  both  oblivious  of  everything  around 
them.  But  a  moment  comes  when  the  greatest 
pain  is  conquered. 

He  rose  soon,  a  new  man ;  he  was  very  calm. 
He  roused  her,  and  spoke  in  a  low  voice,  inter- 
rupted through  a  lack  of  breath. 

"  Pardon  me,  Helena !  I  should  not  have 
done  this,  but  thou  seest  I  have  been  suffering 


hi  Vain  .       77 

so  long.  This  is  the  third  year  since  I  saw  thee 
the  first  time  —  I  saw  thee  in  a  church;  the 
priest  was  just  elevating  the  chalice,  and  thou 
wert  inclining  —  I  visited  that  church  after- 
ward, I  saw  thee  more  frequently,  and,  pardon 
me !  I  myself  cannot  tell  how  it  happened. 
Afterward  thou  didst  become  his  wife —  I  said 
nothing.  And  this  time  I  did  not  wish  to 
offend  or  annoy  thee,  but  thou  sayest  that 
I  have  never  loved.  Thou  seest  that  that 
is  not  true.  How  hard  it  is  to  renounce  the 
last  hope  !  Pardon  me  !  Pan  Yosef  will  come 
to-day  to  thee  —  he  is  a  man  of  noble  nature, 
love  him,  be  happy  —  and  farewell." 

He  bent  toward  her,  and  raising  the  hem  of 
her  garment,  with  gleaming  upturned  eyes,  he 
kissed  the  cloth  as  though  it  were  sacred. 

After  a  while  the  widow  was  alone. 

"  What  did  he  say  ?  "  whispered  she,  in  a 
low  voice.  "  What  did  Gustav  say?  He  said, 
I  remember  it,  that  he  would  come  again  to 
me.    Am  I  dreaming?     But  no,  he  will  come." 


78  In  Vain 


CHAPTER  VI 

Meanwhile  Augustinovich  went  to  live  per- 
manently with  Yosef.  How  different  was  his 
former  from  his  present  life  !  Formerly  he  had 
had  no  warm  corner,  now  Yosef  gave  him  a 
warm  corner;  he  had  had  no  bed,  Yosef 
bought  him  a  bed;  he  had  had  no  blanket, 
Yosef  bought  him  a  blanket;  he  had  had  no 
clothes,  Yosef  got  clothes  for  him;  he  had 
been  without  food,  Yosef  divided  his  own  din- 
ner with  him.  He  found  himself  in  conditions 
entirely  different.  Warmed,  nourished,  in  a 
decent  overcoat,  combed,  washed,  shaved,  he 
became  a  different  man  altogether.  He  was,  as 
we  have  said,  a  person  with  a  character  unpar- 
alleled for  weakness ;  conditions  of  life  always 
created  him,  he  was  merely  the  resultant  of 
forces.  So  under  Yosef's  strong  hand  he 
changed  beyond  recognition.  He  began  to  en- 
joy order  and  plenty,  abundance  in  life.  As  he 
had  not  been  ashamed  before  of  anything,  so 
now  he  began  to  be  ashamed  of  everything 
which  did  not  accord  with  elegant  clothing  and 


In  Vain  79 

gloves.  The  most  difficult  thing  was  to  disac- 
custom himself  from  drinking ;  but  he  had  no 
chance  to  resume  his  former  vice,  for  Yosef, 
who  guarded  him  as  the  eye  in  his  head,  did 
not  let  him  out  of  sight;  he  bought  vodka  for 
him,  but  did  not  let  him  have  money.  It  would 
be  difficult  to  describe  the  impatience  with 
which  Augustinovich  waited  for  the  moment 
when  Yosef  opened  the  cupboard  to  pour  him 
a  glass.  How  much  he  dreamed  in  that  mo- 
ment, how  he  represented  the  taste  of  the  drink 
to  himself,  the  putting  of  it  to  his  lips,  the 
touch  of  it  on  his  tongue,  the  swallowing 
through  his  throat,  and  finally  the  solemn  en- 
trance of  it  into  his  stomach  ! 

But  Yosef,  to  deprive  this  treat  of  its  humili- 
ating character,  drank  to  him  usually. 

In  the  course  of  time  he  treated  him  better ; 
he  began  to  associate  him  with  various  affairs 
of  his  own  and  the  University,  and  finally 
with  his  own  way  of  thinking.  There  is  no 
need  of  saying  that  Augustinovich  took  all 
this  to  himself,  that  he  repeated  Yosef  s  words 
where  he  could  preface  them  usually  with,  "  I 
judge  that,  etc."  Who  would  have  recognized 
him?  He,  for  whom  nothing  had  been  too 
cynical,  said  now  in  student  gatherings  when 
the  conversation  took  too  free  a  turn,  "  Gen- 


80  In  Vain 

tlemen,  above  all,  decency."  The  students 
laughed;  Yosef  himself  smiled  in  silence,  but 
so  far  he  was  content  with  his  own  work. 

We  need  not  add  that  Yosef  attending  the 
same  faculty  with  Augustinovich  studied  with 
him  evenings.  He  had  then  the  opportunity 
of  estimating  his  capabilities  to  the  full.  For 
that  mind  there  was  no  such  thing  as  more 
difficult  or  easier;  a  certain  wild  intuition  took 
the  place  of  thought  and  deliberation.  His 
memory,  not  so  retentive  as  it  was  capacious, 
took  the  place  of  labor. 

Vasilkevich  was  a  frequent  visitor  of  theirs. 
At  first  he  came  with  Karvovski,  then  he  came 
alone  daily  at  his  own  hour.  His  conversa- 
tions with  Yosef,  circling  about  the  most  im- 
portant questions  of  life  and  science,  became 
more  confidential.  Those  two  men  felt  each 
other,  and  each  divined  in  the  other  a  power- 
ful mind  and  will.  A  relation  founded  on 
mutual  esteem  seemed  to  herald  a  permanent 
future. 

Both  seized  in  their  hands  the  direction  of 
youth  in  the  University ;  the  initiative  of  gen- 
eral activities  started  only  with  them,  and  since 
they  agreed  there  was  agreement  in  the  Uni- 
versity; comradeship  and  science  gained  most 
by  that  friendship. 


In  Vain  81 

"  Tell  me,"  inquired  Yosef  on  a  time,  "  what 
do  they  say  of  my  action  with  Augustinovich  ?  " 

"  Some  pay  thee  homage/'  answered  Vasil- 
kevich ;  "  others  laugh.  I  visited  one  of  thy  op- 
ponents on  behalf  of  our  library ;  I  found  there 
no  small  crowd,  and  they  were  just  speaking 
of  thee  and  Augustinovich.  But  dost  thou 
know  who  defended  thee  most  warmly?" 

"  Well,  who  was  it?" 

"  Guess." 

u  Lolo  Karvovski." 

"  No,  not  he." 

"  As  God  lives,  I  cannot  imagine." 

"  Gustav." 

"Gustav?" 

"  Ah,  he  told  those  who  were  laughing  at 
thee  so  many  agreeable  facts  —  they  will  not 
forget  them  soon,  I  guarantee  that.  Thou 
knowest  how  well  he  can  do  such  things.  I 
thought  that  the  deuce  would  take  them." 

"  I  should  not  have  expected  this  of  Gustav." 

"  I  had  not  seen  him  for  a  long  time.  Oh, 
he  has  sunk  in  that  wretched  love  to  the  ears. 
But  he  is  a  strong  fellow  —  and  I  am  sorry  for 
him.  Tell  me,  thou  art  more  skilled  in  this 
than  I  am:  is  he  very  sick?" 

"  Oh,  he  is  not  well." 

"What  is  it?  asthma?" 
6 


82  In  Vain 

Yosef  nodded.     "  Excessive  work,  grief." 

"  Too  bad." 

All  at  once  steps  were  heard  on  the  stairs, 
the  door  opened,  Gustav  walked  in. 

He  was  changed  beyond  recognition.  The 
skin  on  his  face  had  become  wonderfully  white, 
it  had  grown  transparent.  From  his  face  came 
a  certain  coldness,  as  from  a  corpse ;  a  yellow- 
ish shade  shone  from  his  forehead,  which 
seemed  to  be  of  wax.  His  lips  were  white ;  his 
hair,  beard,  and  mustache  looked  almost  black 
as  compared  with  that  pallor.  He  was  like  a 
man  who  had  passed  through  a  long  illness, 
and  on  his  face  had  settled  certainty  con- 
cerning himself  and  a  kind  of  despairing 
resignation. 

Yosef,  a  little  astonished,  a  little  confused, 
did  not  know  perhaps  how  to  begin.  Gustav 
brought  him  out  of  the  trouble. 

"  I  have  come  to  thee  with  a  prayer,"  said 
he.  u  Once  thou  didst  promise  not  to  visit 
the  widow;   withdraw  that  promise." 

Yosef  made  a  wry  face  with  a  kind  of  con- 
straint.    But  he  only  answered,  — 

"  It  is  not  a  custom  with  me  to  break  my 
word." 

"  True,"  answered  Gustav,  calmly ;  "  but  this 
is  something  entirely  different.     If  I  were  to 


In  Vain  83 

die,  for  example,  the  promise  would  not  bind 
thee,  and  I,  as  thou  seest,  am  sick,  very  griev- 
ously sick.  Meanwhile  she  needs  protection. 
I  cannot  protect  her  now,  I  cannot  watch 
over  her.  I  must  lie  down  to  rest,  for  I  am 
wearied  somewhat.  For  that  matter,  I  will  tell 
the  whole  truth  to  thee.  She  loves  thee,  and 
beyond  doubt  thou  lovest  her  also.  I  have 
stood  in  thy  way  and  hers,  but  now  I  with- 
draw. I  do  so  perforce,  and  I  shall  not  repre- 
sent this  as  a  sacrifice.  I  loved  her  much,  and 
I  had  a  little  hope  that  she  would  love  me 
some  day ;  but  I  was  mistaken."  Here  his  voice 
fell  an  octave  lower.  "  No  one  has  ever  loved 
me.  It  has  been  very  gloomy  for  me  in  life  — 
But  what  is  to  be  done?  Of  late  I  have  passed 
through  much,  but  now  that  is  over.  To-day 
my  concern  is  that  she  be  not  left  alone.  Had 
I  been  able  to  decide  on  a  sacrifice,  thou 
wouldst  be  her  protector  to-day.  Canst  thou 
do  this  for  me,  Yosef?  Thou  hast  energy, 
thou  art  rich,  and  she,  I  say,  loves  thee,  so 
thou  wilt  not  end  as  I  have.  Oh,  it  has  been 
hard  in  this  world  for  me  —  But  never  mind. 
I  should  not  like  to  do  her  an  injury —  I  love 
her  yet.  I  should  not  wish  her  to  be  alone 
because  of  me.  At  times,  seest  thou,  it  is  not 
proper  to  refuse  people  anything.     Go,  go  to 


84  In  Vain 

her !  Thou  and  I  lived  together  once,  we 
fought  the  same  trouble,  hence  thou  shouldst 
do  me  this  favor;  for,  I  repeat,  I  am  sick 
and  I  know  not  whether  I  shall  see  her  or  thee 
again." 

A  tear  gathered  in  Vasilkevich's  eye  ;  he  rose 
and  said,  turning  to  Yosef,  — 

"  Thou  shouldst  do  all  that  Gustav  asks  of 
thee." 

"  I  will  go  to  her,  I  will  protect  her,"  an- 
swered Yosef,  decidedly.  "  I  give  my  word  of 
honor  to  both  of  you." 

"  I  thank  thee,"  said  Gustav.  u  Go  there 
now." 

A  little  later  he  was  alone  with  Vasilkevich. 
The  Lithuanian  was  silent  for  some  time,  he 
struggled  with'his  own  heart ;  finally  he  spoke 
in  a  voice  of  heartfelt  sympathy,  — 

"  Gustav,  poor  Gustav,  how  thou  must  suffer 
at  this  moment !  " 

Gustav  made  no  answer.  He  drew  the  air 
into  his  mouth  with  hissing,  gritted  his  teeth, 
his  face  quivered  convulsively,  and  a  sudden 
sobbing  tore  his  breast,  strength  left  him 
completely. 

Three  days  later  Yosef  and  Vasilkevich  were 
sitting  in  Gustav's  lodging.     The  evening  was 


In  Vain  85 

bright ;  bundles  of  moonlight  were  falling  into 
the  room  through  the  panes.  At  the  bedside 
of  the  sick  man  a  candle  was  burning.  The 
sick  man  himself  was  still  conscious.  Almost 
beautiful  was  his  face,  which  had  grown  yellow 
from  suffering,  with  its  lofty  forehead,  as  it 
rested  on  high  pillows.  One  emaciated  hand 
lay  on  the  blanket,  with  the  other  he  pressed 
his  bosom. 

The  light  of  the  candle  cast  a  rosy  gleam  on 
that  martyr  to  his  own  feelings.  The  opposite 
corner  of  the  room  was  obscure  in  the  shadow. 
Gustav  was  giving  an  account  of  how  he  had 
cared  for  Helena.  From  time  to  time  he 
answered,  though  with  difficulty,  now  to  Yosef, 
now  to  Vasilkeyich,  who,  standing  at  the  head 
of  the  bed,  wiped  away  the  abundant  perspi- 
ration which  came  out  on  the  forehead  of  the 
sufferer. 

"  I  wish  to  forewarn  thee,"  said  Gustav. 
"  They  send  her  two  thousand  zlotys  yearly 
(about  $250),  but  she  needs  from  five  to  six 
thousand.  I  earned  the  rest  for  her — Push 
away  the  candle,  and  moisten  my  lips  —  I  took 
from  my  own  mouth,  I  did  not  sleep  enough — 
Sometimes  I  did  not  eat  a  meal  for  two  days  — 
Raise  me  a  little,  and  support  me  higher,  I 
cannot  speak  —  There  are  thirty  rubles  more 


In  Vai7i 


for  her  in  that  box —  It  is  dark  around  me  — 
Let  me  rest —  " 

A  mouse  made  a  piece  of  paper  rustle  in 
one  corner ;  except  that,  silence  held  the  room. 
Death  was  coming. 

"  I  should  like  to  finish  our  work,"  continued 
Gustav.  "Tell  my  associates  not  to  quarrel  — 
Cold  is  seizing  me — I  am  curious  to  know  if 
there  be  a  heaven  or  a  hell.  I  have  never 
prayed  —  but,  but  —  " 

Vasilkevich  inclined  toward  him  and  asked 
in  a  low  voice,  — 

"  Gustav,  dost  thou  believe  in  immortality?  " 

The  sick  man  could  speak  no  longer;  he 
nodded  in  sign  of  affirmation.  Then  low  tones 
of  enchanting  music  seemed  to  be  given  forth 
in  that  chamber.  Along  the  rays  of  the  moon- 
light a  legion  of  angels  pushed  in  from  the 
sky  ;  the  room  was  filled  with  them,  some  with 
white,  others  with  golden  or  colored  wings. 
They  came  quietly,  bent  over  the  bed.  The 
rustle  of  their  wings  was  audible. 

The  spirit  of  Gustav  went  away  with  that 
low-sounding  orchestra. 

The  funeral  took  place  with  great  solemnity. 
The  whole  University  in  a  body  was  .present 
around  the  coffin.  Then  they  spoke  for  the 
first  time  of  the  accurate  knowledge,  the  toil 


In  Vain  87 

and  sacrifices  of  the  deceased.  It  appeared 
from  the  accounts  which  Yosef  examined  that 
Gustav  had  earned  about  four  thousand  zlotys 
($500)  yearly.  All  of  this  went  to  the 
widow;  he  lived  himself  like  a  dog.  This 
voluntary  but  silent  heroism  made  for  him  an 
enduring  monument  in  the  hearts  of  the  young 
men.  They  discovered  also  various  labors  of 
the  deceased  which  indicated  solid  acquire- 
ments, nay,  talent.  They  found  his  diary, 
which  was  a  confession  in  simple  and  even 
blunt  words  of  all  the  dark  side  of  his  life  of 
privation,  a  kind  of  apology  for  the  passionate 
outbreaks  of  youth,  those  imaginary  but  still 
real  sufferings,  those  struggles,  those  pains, 
those  internal  storms,  and  conversations  held 
with  self.  The  inner  life  of  enthusiastic  natures 
was  unveiled  there  in  all  its  dark  solemnity.  It 
was  a  terror  to  look  into  that  chaos  which  is  not 
to  be  known  in  every-day  life,  in  that  "  so  devil- 
ishly gilded  world,"  as  the  poetess  calls  it. 

The  memoirs  were  read  at  Vasilkevich's 
rooms ;  there  was  even  a  proposition  to  print 
them,  though  it  „was  not  brought  into  effect 
somehow.  But  Augustinovich  wrote  a  paper 
after  Gustav's  death.  Very  eloquently  did  he 
describe  the  man's  career.  He  showed  him 
from   years   of  childhood,  when  he  was  still 


88  In  Vain 

happy.  The  charm  of  the  description  of  those 
spring  moments  of  life  was  so  great  that  it 
seemed  as  though  the  sun  of  May  had  shone 
upon  the  writer.  Then  the  picture  grew 
sombre.  It  was  seen  how  the  deceased  had 
left  his  native  cottage ;  how  the  dog,  the  old 
servant,  ran  after  him  howling.  Then  still 
darker :  life  hurled  him  about,  tossed  him,  rent 
him.  Again  a  ray  shone  as  if  on  a  cloud.  In 
rainbow  form  Pani  Helena  appeared  to  him  — 
he  stretched  his  arms  toward  that  light.  "  The 
rest  you  know,"  wrote  Augustinovich.  "Let 
him  sleep  now,  and  dream  of  her.  The  field 
swallow  will  sing  her  name  above  his  grave. 
Let  him  rest  in  peace.  The  spark  is  quenched, 
the  bowl  is  broken  —  that  is  Gustav." 

But  it  happens  usually  that  people  after  his 
death  speak  much  of  a  man  whom  during  life 
they  almost  buffeted.  Let  us  give  peace  then 
to  Gustav,  and  follow  the  further  fortune  of 
our  acquaintances,  and  especially  of  Yosef,  the 
hero  of  this  volume. 

With  him  nothing  had  changed,  but  he  him- 
self from  the  time  of  his  first  visit  to  Pani 
Helena  went  about  as  if  in  meditation  and  was 
silent. 

Augustinovich  accustomed  himself  more  and 
more  to  the  new  condition. 


In  Vain  89 

At  the  general's  the  guests  danced  as  before. 
At  the  engineer's  they  pounded  on  the  piano. 
The  countess  sang  in  the  evening.  Gustav's 
room  was  occupied  by  a  shoemaker  who  had 
two  scrofulous  descendants  and  a  wife  with  a 
third  misery.  In  the  place  where  thoughts 
from  a  noble  head  had  circled  and  words  of 
warmth  had  dropped,  were  now  heard  the 
thread  and  the  shoemaker's  stirrup. 

The  widow  did  not  hear  of  Gustav's  death 
immediately;  Yosef  concealed  it,  fearing  too 
violent  an  impression.  Later  he  was  astonished 
to  find  that  she  received  the  news  with  sadness, 
it  is  true,  but  with  no  sign  of  despair.  We 
have  much  to  tell  of  those  new  relations;  in 
the  succeeding  part  we  shall  pass  to  them 
directly. 


90  In  Vain 


CHAPTER  VII 

Yosef,  according  to  his  promise  given  Gustav, 
visited  Helena,  and  after  the  second  visit  went 
away  in  love.  He  returned  late  at  night. 
The  stars  were  twinkling  on  a  serene  sky; 
from  the  Dnieper  came  the  cool,  but  bracing 
breath  of  water.  Light  streaks  of  mist  wound 
in  a  long  line  on  the  east.  There  was  music 
in  the  air  and  music  in  Yosef  s  breast.  He 
was  in  love !  It  seemed  to  him  that  the  serene 
night  had  visited  his  betrothal  with  happiness. 
Full  happiness  is  both  a  remembrance  and  a 
hope.  Yosef  felt  yet  in  his  palms  the  small 
hands  of  Helena ;  he  remembered  that  moment, 
thought  of  the  tenderness  of  the  morrow, 
looked  forward  to  that  moment.  A  wonderful 
thing!  She  took  farewell  of  him  with  the 
word,  "Remember;"  but  who  could  forget 
happiness,  especially  when  the  future  is  smiling 
with  it? 

He  loved !  Pressed  by  the  power  and  the 
charm  of  the  night,  the  trembling  of  the  stars 
and  the  majesty  of  dark  expanses,  he  cast  a 


In  Vain  91 

look  full  of  fire  to  the  remotest  borders  of 
heavenly  loneliness,  and  whispered  with  quiv- 
ering lips, — 

"  If  Thou  exist !    Thou  art  great  and  good." 

Notwithstanding  the  condition  set  up  be- 
fore this  statement,  that  for  Yosef  was  very 
much. 

He  recognized  greatness  and  goodness.  He 
said,  "  If  Thou  art."  If  those  words  had  been 
spoken  about  some  being,  they  would  be  con- 
ditional ;  spoken  to  some  being  they  were  an 
affirmation  of  existence :    "  Thou  art." 

In  spite  of  all  his  realism  let  us  not  wonder 
so  much  at  these  words.  The  lips  which  pro- 
nounced them  had  drunk  freshly  from  the  cup 
of  ecstasy. 

When  Yosef  reached  home,  Augustinovich 
was  sleeping  in  the  best  fashion  possible ;  his 
snoring  was  heard  even  on  the  stairway.  He 
drew  out  the  song  of  slumber,  now  short,  now 
long,  now  lower,  now  higher,  now  puffing,  now 
blowing,  now  whistling. 

Yosef  roused  him. 

He  determined  finally  to  embrace  him. 

Augustinovich  stared  at  him  with  astonished 
eyes,  and  at  the  first  moment  cried,  — 

"Go  to  the  —  " 

Yosef  laughed  joyously. 


92  In  Vain 

"  Good-night!  "  said  Augustinovich.  "  I  will 
tell  thee  to-morrow  where  thou  art  coming 
from  —  now  I  wish  to  sleep  —  good-night." 

The  next  day  was  Sunday.  In  the  morning 
Yosef  poured  the  tea ;  Augustinovich,  lying  in 
bed  yet,  and  looking  at  the  ceiling,  was  smok- 
ing a  pipe.  Both  were  thinking  of  the  day 
previous. 

Finally  Augustinovich  was  the  first  to 
speak,  — 

"Dost  thou  know  what  has  come  to  my 
head?" 

"  No." 

M  Then  I  will  tell  thee.  I  will  tell  thee  that 
it  is  not  worth  while  to  attach  one's  life  to  the 
first  woman  that  comes  along;  as  I  wish  well  to 
Jove,  it  is  not !  There  are  better  things  in  this 
world." 

"  Whence  did  those  ideas  come  to  thee?  " 

"  Straight  from  the  pipe.  A  man  so  binds 
himself  to  an  idea,  grows  one  with  it  com- 
pletely, and  then  something  comes  and,  be- 
hold !  of  those  palaces  as  much  remains  as  of 
the  smoke  which  I  blow  out  at  this  moment." 

An  immense  roll  of  smoke  rose  up  from 
Augustinovich's  lips,  and  striking  the  ceiling 
was  scattered  on  all  sides. 

The  conversation  was  stopped  for  a  while. 


In  Vain  93 

"  Yosef,  hadst  thou  been  in  love  before 
knowing  Gustav  and  Pani  Helena?" 

"  Had  I  lo-v-ed  ? "  drawled  Yosef,  looking 
at  the  light  through  his  glass  of  tea.  "What? 
had  I  loved?  Yes,  I  turned  my  head  for  a 
moment,  but  that  did  not  push  me  out  of  life's 
ordinary  conditions,  it  did  not  lead  me  out  of 
the  order  of  the  day.  I  will  say  sincerely, 
though,  that  I  have  not  been  in  love." 

Augustinovich,  raising  the  stem  of  his  pipe, 
began  to  declaim  with  solemnity,  — 

"  O  woman  !  helpless  down  !  O  giddy  crea- 
ture ! " 

"Well,  what  is  it?  "  asked  Yosef,  laughing. 

"Nothing,  my  reminiscences.  Ei,  it  was 
different  with  me.  I  was  as  mad  as  a  maniac  a 
couple  of  times.  Once,  even  in  spite  of  misery, 
I  tried  to  be  an  orderly  person ;  it  was  diffi- 
cult, but  I  tried." 

"And  how  did  it  end?" 

"  Prosaically.  I  was  giving  lessons  in  a  cer- 
tain house.  There  were  two  children,  a  little 
son  and  a  grown-up  daughter.  I  taught  the  son 
and  fell  in  love  with  the  daughter.  I  told  her 
this  one  evening,  and  tears  came  to  my  eyes. 
She  was  confused  a  little,  and  then  she  laughed. 
Thou  wilt  not  believe,  Yosef,  what  an  ugly 
laugh  that  was,  for   she  saw  how  much  the 


94  fa  Vain 

confession  had  cost  me,  and  besides  she  had 
enticed  me  on,  to  begin  with.  She  went  at 
once  with  a  complaint  to  her  *  mamma/  " 

"  Well,  what  did  the  mamma  do?  " 

"  The  '  mamma '  told  me  first  that  I  was  a 
scrub,  whereupon  I  bowed  to  her;  second  she 
told  me  to  go  my  way,  and  third  she  threw  a 
five-ruble  note  on  the  floor  before  me.  I 
picked  up  the  note,  for  it  belonged  to  me,  and 
from  it  I  got  drunk  that  evening  and  next 
morning  also." 

"And  then?" 

"Then  the  next  evening  and  the  third 
morning." 

"And  so  on?" 

"  No.  On  the  fourth  day  I  had  an  immense 
cry,  and  later,  when  I  had  cured  myself  a 
little,  not  of  drinking,  but  of  love,  I  tried  to 
fall  in  love  with  the  first  woman  I  met;  but  I 
could  not  love  any  more,  I  give  thee  my  word 
of  honor." 

"  And  hast  thou  no  hope  for  the  future?  " 

Augustinovich  thought  a  moment,  and 
answered,  — 

"  No,  I  have  no  respect  now  for  women.  As 
much  as  I  believed  in  them  before,  as  much  as 
I  honored  and  loved  them  as  the  highest 
reward  of  toil  and  effort,  that  much  do  I  like 


In  Vain  95 

them  now,  dost  understand?  That  excludes 
love." 

"  But  happiness." 

"  Not  a  word  about  happiness.  So  to-day  I 
whistle  when  I  want  to  cry,  and  therefore  envy 
thee." 

Yosef  looked  quickly  at  Augustinovich. 

"What  dost  thou  envy  me?" 

"Thy  relation  with  Pani  Helena.  Do  not 
frown,  and  do  not  wonder  that  I  know  those 
things  well.  Ho,  ho !  we  have  had  a  little 
experience.  For  that  matter  I  will  tell  thee 
that  I  wanted  myself  to  fall  in  love  with  Pani 
Helena.  I  prefer  such  women.  Though,  on 
the  other  hand —  But  do  I  know  that  thou 
wilt  not  be  angry?  " 

"  Talk  on." 

"  I  was  afraid  to  fall  in  love  with  her.  There 
is  no  denying  that  she  is  an  unhappy  woman, 
but,  by  the  beard  of  the  Prophet !  what  is  that 
to  me  ?  I  know  only  that  the  inheritance  goes 
from  hand  to  hand,  and  that  whoso  approaches 
her  is  happy  for  the  ages.  B-r-r  !  By  my  honor 
I  should  not  wish  to  be  the  heir  to  such  a 
legacy,  even  for  a  friend." 

Yosef  put  the  glass  of  partly  drunk  tea  on 
the  table,  and  turning  to  Augustinovich  said 
coldly, — 


96  In  Vain 

"Yes;  but  since  I  am  the  executor  of  the 
will,  be  so  kind  as  to  speak  of  the  inheritance 
more  considerately." 

11  Well,  I  will  tell  thee  in  perfect  seriousness 
not  this,  who  or  what  the  widow  is,  but  what 
thou  shouldst  do.  I  speak  disinterestedly.  I 
speak  even  to  my  own  harm.  The  affair  is  of 
this  kind."  Augustinovich  sat  up  in  bed.  "  I 
know  thee,  I  know  her;  she  will  rush  into  thy 
arms  herself.  Initiative  on  the  part  of  a 
woman  —  Ho  !  that  is  not  good  !  Love  must 
be  a  conquest.  In  a  month  thou  wilt  be  sick 
of  her,  thou  wilt  be  tortured  and  throw  her  to 
the  devil.  Yosef,  I  wish  thee  well  —  marry 
Helena  while  there  is  time." 

Yosef  frowned  more  than  before,  and  an- 
swered abruptly, — 

"  I  will  do  what  I  think  is  proper." 

And  really  that  little  word  "  marry "  had 
not  come  to  his  head  yet./  While  kissing  the 
widow's  hands  he  had  not  thought  of  the  con- 
sequences of  the  kisses.)  He  was  angry  at 
himself,  and  at  this  more  especially,  that  some 
one  had  reminded  him  of  duties  of  conscience. 
A  day  later,  two  days  later,  he  would  have 
reminded  himself  of  them  beyond  fail.  The 
reminder  coming  from  another  took  away 
from  this  thought  the  charm  of  spontaneous 


In  Vain  97 

action  which  flows  from  love  and  made  it 
constraint. 

The  evening  of  that  day  Augustinovich  met 
Vasilkevich. 

"  Knowest  thou  that  Yosef  visits  the  widow 
now?"  asked  he.  . 

"What  wonder?" 

"  The  woman  is  in  love  with  him  to  distrac- 
tion. Think  what  will  come  of  that,  and  judge 
what  Yosef  ought  to  do." 

"  He  ought  to  love  her  too,"  answered  Vasil- 
kevich, with  his  usual  decision. 

"Yes;  and  then?" 

44  Then  let  them  marry." 

Augustinovich  waved  his  hand  impatiently. 

44  One  other  question.  How  wouldst  thou 
act  with  Pani  Helena?" 

"If  I  loved  her?" 

"  Yes." 

"  I  should  marry  her  without  hesitation." 

Augustinovich  stopped  him,  and  with  his 
hand  on  his  heart  began  to  speak  in  a  tone  of 
deep  conviction, — 

"  Seest  thou,  I  am  much  indebted  to  Yosef, 
for  that  matter  thou  knowest  this  best  of  all,  I 
should  like  then  to  pay  him  honestly,  —  yes, 
to  pay  him  with  advice.  He  is  in  a  strange 
position,  and  still,  dost  understand,  there  are 
7 


gS  In  Vain 

certain  laws  of  honor  which  we  are  not  per- 
mitted to  break.  I  should  not  wish  that  any 
man  at  any  time  could  say  to  Yosef,  'Thou 
hast  acted  dishonorably/  I  say  openly  I 
should  not  wish  that.  Thou  canst  do  much, 
thou  hast  influence  over  him." 

Vasilkevich,  instead  of  letting  himself  be 
persuaded,  grew  angry. 

"But  why  push  into  affairs  which  are  not 
thine?  Leave  him  freedom.  It  is  only  a  little 
while  since  he  began  to  visit  her.  Ei !  Augus- 
tinovich,  does  this  come  from  thy  heart?  If 
Helena  is  anything  to  thee,  then  may  I  —  But 
this  is  interfering  —  thou  lovest  to  pose  and 
speak  well-sounding  words.  Play  no  comedy ! 
Thou  art  making  a  sacrifice  as  it  were  by 
losing  lodgings  through  Yosef 's  marriage,  but 
that  is  mere  levity.  Thou  art  deceiving  thy- 
self without  knowing  it  Have  no  fear  as  to 
Yosef;  if  thou  wert  like  him,  no  more  would  be 
needed.  What  hast  thou  to  do  with  this  matter  ? 
Thou  hast  not  tact  to  the  value  of  a  copper."    , 

"  Keep  these  lessons  for  thy  own  use  !  Then 
thou  wilt  not  interfere  between  them?  " 

"  If  this  undefined  relation  were  to  last  long, 
I  should  be  the  first  to  try  and  persuade,  and 
finally  to  force  Yosef  to  marry  her;  but  to 
interfere  to-day  would  be  stupid." 


In  Vain  99 

Augustinovich  went  home,  greatly  confused ; 
a  feeling  of  truth  told  him,  however,  that  the 
Lithuanian  was  right,  and  that  on  his  part  it 
would  be  really  meddling  and  a  desire  for 
posing,  nothing  more. 


ioo  In  Vain 


CHAPTER  VIII 

A  COUPLE  of  months  had  passed,  winter  had 
passed,  spring  had  passed,  summer  had  come, 
and  those  relations  had  not  changed. 

Yosef  loved  Helena,  she  loved  him,  and 
their  life  flowed  on  in  mutual  forgetfulness 
of  the  future.  But  there  was  a  shadow  be- 
tween them,  a  shadow  thrown  by  chance.  One 
summer  day  the  widow  tied  under  her  chin 
the  ribbons  of  a  dainty  blue  hat,  and  covering 
her  shoulders  with  a  cape,  she  took  Yosef's 
arm  and  they  went  out  to  walk. 

The  sun  was  shining,  there  was  a  little  dust  in 
the  air,  and  the  heat  made  itself  felt  on  all  faces, 
though  the  hour  was  about  six  in  the  afternoon. 
Multitudes  of  people  were  on  the  streets; 
many  acquaintances  greeted  Yosef  with  a 
friendly  nod;  some,  and  among  them  stran- 
gers, looked  around  at  our  couple.  Really  they 
were  a  beautiful  couple.  Yosef  had  grown, 
he  had  become  manly;  his  chin  and  the  sides 
of  his  face  were  covered  now  by  a  splendid, 
ruddy  growth,  and  his  face  had  a  serious  ex- 
pression, with  a  certain  tinge  of  pride.     The 


In  Vain  •  101 

widow  looked  exactly  like  a  young  betrothed. 
The  wind  blew  apart  the  ribbons  of  her  dainty 
hat,  played  with  her  white  dress,  and  bearing 
apart  the  cape,  showed  her  slender  form.  Lean- 
ing on  Yosefs  arm  gracefully,  she  delighted 
in  him  and  the  sun  and  the  air,  and  was  as  if 
born  into  the  world  a  second  time.  Yosef 
looked  more  at  her  than  at  the  people  around. 
We  will  not  undertake  to  repeat  the  words  in 
that  twittering  of  lovers,  without  meaning  for 
others,  full  of  charm  for  themselves.  But  there 
was  more  serious  conversation ;  she,  for  exam- 
ple, begged  him  to  take  her  to  Potkanski's 
grave. 

"  In  the  summer,"  said  she,  "  there  is  much 
shade  even  in  the  cemetery.  And  it  is  so 
long  since  I  was  there;  still  I  cannot  forget 
him.  Thou  takest  his  place,  Yosef,  but  permit 
me  to  pray  for  him  sometimes." 

It  was  all  one  to  Yosef  for  whom  or  for 
what  Helena  prayed ;  so  he  answered  with  an 
indulgent  smile, — 

"  Very  well,  remember  thy  dead ;  but  love 
the  living,"  added  he,  inclining  his  head  toward 
her  face. 

A  slight  pressing  of  Yosef  's  arm  to  her  breast 
was  Helena's  answer.  She  looked  him  in  the 
eyes,  then  blushed  like  a  girl. 


102  In  Vain 

Yosef  covered  with  his  palm  the  little  hand 
resting  on  his  arm,  and  —  was  perfectly  happy. 

They  went  to  the  cemetery,  and  on  the 
way  met  Augustinovich ;  he  was  smoking  a 
cigar  and  walking  with  two  ladies,  a  mother  and 
a  daughter.  Augustinovich  had  the  daughter 
on  his  arm,  the  mother  hurried  on  a  little  at 
one  side;  plumpness  and  finally  the  heat  hin- 
dered her  haste  somewhat. 

Augustinovich  was  eloquent  evidently,  for 
the  young  lady  restrained  her  laughter  at 
moments.  While  passing  Yosef  he  blinked 
with  one  eye ;  this  was  to  signify  that  he  was 
content  with  the  world  and  the  order  of  the 
earth  at  that  moment. 

Yosef  asked  Helena  about  Augustinovich. 

"I  know  him,  though  I  do  not  know  his 
name.  When  Kazimir  died,  I  saw  him  near 
me,  then  he  disappeared  somehow  from  my 
eyes." 

"  He  is  the  most  gifted  scapegrace  whom  I 
know,"  added  Yosef.  "  But  he  told  me  that 
he  was  in  love  with  my  lady." 

"Why  tell  me  that?" 

"  Without  an  object,  but  it  is  a  wonder  how 
all  are  attracted  to  thee." 

"  My  dear  Yosef,  that  is  the  one  thing  that 
I  brought  to  the  world  with  me.     Thou  wilt 


In  Vain  103 

not  believe  how  sadly  the  years  of  my  child- 
hood passed.  Thou  knowest  not  my  history. 
I  was  reared  in  a  wealthy  family,  where  the 
master  of  the  house  treated  me  as  his  own 
daughter.  After  his  death  I  was  tormented  in 
that  house  with  every  rudeness,  till  at  last  I  fled 
and  came  to  Kieff,  where  an  old  and  very  kind 
man  took  me  into  his  care.  He  called  me  He- 
lusiu  always,  and  petted  me  as  if  I  had  been 
his  own  daughter.  But  afterward  he  too  died, 
without  leaving  me  means  of  living.  Then  I 
made  the  acquaintance  of  Kazimir.  Thou  wilt 
wonder  how  I  went  to  a  students'  club?  I 
lacked  little  of  dying  from  shame,  I  assure 
thee,  when  I  entered  the  first  time;  but  wilt 
thou  believe?  I  was  hungry.  I  had  put  noth- 
ing in  my  mouth  for  two  days.  I  was  chilled 
through,  I  knew  not  what  I  was  doing,  and 
what  it  would  lead  to. 

"  Then  Kazimir  approached  me.  Oh  !  he  did 
not  please  me  that  time.  He  laughed  and  was 
glad,  but  it  grew  dark  in  my  eyes.  He  asked 
at  last  if  I  would  go  with  him.  I  answered 
1  Yes/  On  the  road  he  put  a  warm  fur  around 
me,  for  I  was  shivering  from  cold,  and  finally 
he  took  me  to  his  lodgings.  There,  when 
warmth  had  restored  presence  of  mind  to  me, 
I  saw  where  I  was,  and  I  wept  from  disgrace 


104  In  Vain 

and  shame.  For,  seest  thou,  I  was  alone  in 
the  lodgings  of  a  man,  I  was  in  his  power.  He 
seemed  to  be  astonished  at  my  weeping ;  then 
he  was  silent  and  sat  near  me,  and  when  again 
I  looked  at  him  he  had  tears  in  his  eyes,  and 
was  different  entirely.  He  kissed  my  hands 
and  begged  me  to  calm  myself. 

"  I  had  to  tell  him  everything,  everything. 
He  promised  to  think  of  me  as  a  sister.  How 
good  he  was,  was  he  not?  From  that  moment 
of  knowing  him  I  knew  no  more  of  want.  At 
parting  he  kissed  my  hand  again.  I  wished  to 
kiss  his,  my  heart  was  straitened,  I  pressed  it 
with  my  hands  and  wept  real  tears.  Oh  !  how 
I  loved  him  then !  how  I  loved  him  !  " 

Helena  raised  her  eyes,  in  those  eyes  gleamed 
great  tears  of  gratitude.  She  was  as  beautiful 
as  if  inspired.  Yosef's  expression,  however, 
was  severe;  his  brows  had  come  together  on 
his  forehead.  The  thought  that  he  owed  that 
woman's  love  to  empty  chance,  to  a  vain  re- 
semblance, covered  his  face  with  a  gloomy 
shadow. 

Potkanski  had  gone  to  her  by  another  road. 
That  comparison  pained  Yosef.  He  recalled 
Augustinovich's  words,  and  conducted  Helena 
farther  in  silence. 

They  reached  the  cemetery.     Among  the 


In  Vain  105 

trees  were  white  crosses,  stones,  and  tombs. 
The  city  of  the  dead  in  the  shade  of  green 
leaves  slept  in  silent  dignity.  A  number  of 
persons  were  strolling  among  the  crosses ; 
among  the  branches  a  bird  from  time  to  time 
sang  half  sadly,  half  charmingly.  The  figure 
of  the  cemetery  guard  pushed  past  at  intervals. 

Helena  soon  found  Potkanski's  grave.  It 
was  a  large  mound  surrounded  by  an  iron 
railing ;  at  the  foot  of  the  mound  was  a  small 
grass-covered  hillock.  Under  these  lay  Pot- 
kanski  with  Helena's  child.  A  number  of  pots 
with  flowers  adorned  the  graves,  at  the  sides  grew 
reseda  ;  in  general,  the  grave  kept  neatly  and 
even  with  ornament  indicated  a  careful  hand. 

Yosef  called  the  guard  to  open  the  railing. 
Helena  knelt  there  with  prayer  on  her  lips  and 
tears  in  her  eyes. 

"  Who  keeps  this  grave  ?  "  asked  Yosef  of 
the  guard. 

"This  lady  came;  a  gentleman  with  long 
hair  came  also,  but  now  he  comes  no  longer. 
He  always  paid  for  the  flowers,  and  he  also 
gave  command  to  erect  the  iron  grating." 

"That  gentleman  is  here  now — last  year 
they  buried  him,"  answered  Yosef. 

The  guard  nodded  as  if  to  say,  "  And  thou 
too  wilt  dwell  here." 


106  In  Vain 

"  But  this  I  beg  to  tell  the  gentlemen.  In 
the  city  out  there  are  trouble  and  suffering, 
but  when  any  one  comes  here  he  lies  peace- 
fully. I  think  often  to  myself:  *  Will  the 
Lord  God  torture  souls  in  that  other  world 
also?     Is  it  little  that  man  suffers  here?'" 

After  a  time  Helena  finished  praying.  Yosef 
gave  her  his  arm  again.  Yosef  was  silent; 
evidently  something  was  weighing  on  his  heart. 
By  design  or  by  chance  he  led  Helena  along  a 
path  different  from  the  first  one.  All  at  once, 
when  near  the  gate,  he  pointed  to  one  of  the 
graves,  and  said  in  a  kind  of  cold  voice,  — 

"  See,  Helena,  that  man  there  loved  thee 
during  his  life  more  than  Potkanski,  and  still 
thou  hast  not  mentioned  him." 

The  day  was  inclining.  Helena  cast  her 
eye  on  the  object  which  Yosef  had  indicated. 
At  the  grave  stood  a  black  wooden  cross,  and 
on  it  were  written  in  white  the  words :  "  Gus- 
tav  —  died  year  —  day." 

The  evening  rays  painted  the  inscription  as 
it  were  in  letters  of  blood. 

"  Let  us  go  from  here ;  it  is  getting  dark," 
whispered  Helena,  nestling  her  head  up  to 
Yosef  s  shoulder. 

When  they  entered  the  city,  darkness  was 
beginning  in  earnest,  but  a  clear  night  was 


In  Vain  107 

coming.  A  great  ruddy  moon  was  rolling 
up  from  beyond  the  Dnieper.  In  the  dense 
alleys  of  the  police  garden  steps  were  heard 
here  and  there,  from  an  open  window  in  an 
adjoining  pavilion  came  the  tones  of  a  piano ; 
a  youthful,  feeble  voice  was  singing  a  song 
of  Schubert,  the  tones  quivered  in  the  warm 
air ;  far,  far  out  on  the  steppe  some  one  was 
sounding  the  horn  of  a  post-wagon. 

"A  beautiful  night,"  said  Helena,  in  a  low 
voice.     "  Why  art  thou  gloomy,  Yosef  ?  " 

"  Let  us  sit  a  little,"  said  he.     "  I  am  tired." 

They  sat  there,  and  leaning  shoulder  to 
shoulder  were  both  somewhat  pensive.  They 
were  roused  on  a  sudden  from  meditation  by 
a  youthful,  resonant  voice,  which  said,  — 

"  True,  Karol !  The  greatest  happiness  is 
the  genuine  love  of  a  woman,  if  it  is  an  echo 
to  the  voice  of  a  real  manly  soul." 
1  Two  young  people  arm  in  arm  passed  slowly 
near  the  bench  on  which  Yosef  and  Helena 
were  sitting. 

"  Good  evening !  "  said  both,  removing  their 
hats. 

They  were  Vasilkevich  and  Karol  Karvovski. 

When  Yosef  parted  with  the  widow  that 
evening,  he  held  her  hand  to  his  lips  for  a  long 
time,  and  went  home  late,  greatly  agitated. 


io8  In  Vain 


CHAPTER  IX 

But  next  day  Yosef  after  a  perfect  sleep  was 
quite  calm ;  he  even  laughed  at  the  previous 
day  and  at  his  own  alarms  and  fears. 

"  Many  pretty  phrases  are  uttered,"  said  he 
to  himself,  "  but  are  they  reality?  Only  a 
fool  regrets  happiness.  Gustav  is  the  best 
proof  of  this.  What  good  is  feeling,  though 
the  strongest,  though  the  most  manly,  when 
purchased  at  the  cost  of  life?  Besides,  I  am 
little  fitted  for  tragedy.  I  love  Helena,  and 
she  me.  What  is  that  to  any  one?  Augus- 
tinovich,  rise,  O  scapegrace !  tell  me  what 
hundred-tongued  Satan  has  turned  the  head  of 
some  brown  parasol  by  means  of  thee?" 

"Didst  thou  see  her  face?"  inquired  Au- 
gustinovich,  forcing  himself  to  sigh. 

"  I  did,  and  by  Jove,  it  was  like  a  freshly 
plucked  radish  —  the  mother  looked  like  a 
bowl  of  sour  milk.  Well,  art  thou  in  love,  old 
man?" 

"  Be  quiet !  those  are  very  rich  ladies." 

"  Both?     How  much  has  the  daughter?  " 


In  Vain  109 

"Who  has  counted  such  a  treasure  —  but 
she  will  be  richer  yet." 

"  Richer — by  a  husband  and  children?  " 

"  No ;  but  the  mother  has  come  on  a  law- 
suit, and  dost  know  whom  she  is  suing  ?  Our 
neighbor  the  count  owes  her  several  thousand 
zlotys." 

" From  whom  dost  thou  know  all  this?  Art 
long  acquainted  with  the  ladies  ?  " 

"  Only  since  yesterday.  I  became  acquainted 
by  chance:  they  inquired  for  the  street  — 
whither?  I  did  not  mind,  'pon  my  honor,  but 
I  told  them  that  the  weather  was  very  beauti- 
ful, and  asked  if  they  would  not  walk  with  me. 
The  old  lady  loves  conversation  dearly.  I 
learned  immediately  who  they  were,  and  why 
they  had  come  to  the  city.  She  asked  me  if 
I  knew  the  count.  I  answered  that  I  visit  him 
daily,  and  that  I  would  use  my  influence  on 
the  old  man  to  pay  what  he  owes  her.  I  said 
also  that  I  was  a  doctor  of  medicine,  theology, 
and  many  other  sciences  and  arts ;  that  I  have 
an  immense  practice  in  Kieff.  Then  the  mother 
began  to  tell  into  my  ear  her  troubles  and  the 
troubles  of  her  daughter.  I  promised  to  visit 
them  and  to  examine  their  case  carefully." 

"  Of  course.  What  did  the  daughter  say  to 
that?" 


no  In  Vain 

"  She  hung  out  the  red  flag  on  her  face,  but 
the  mother  scolded  her  for  doing  so,  called 
on  all  the  saints,  and  assured  me  of  the  unani- 
mous assistance  of  those  saints  at  the  day  of 
general  judgment.  Thou  seest  what  I  have 
won." 

"  Thou  art  an  innocent." 

"  I  shall  visit  them  to-day." 

"Whom?  all  the  saints?" 

"  No,  my  new  acquaintances.  I  will  advise 
them  both  to  marry." 

"  The  youngest  thee?  " 

"What  dost  thou  wish,  my  dear?  A  man 
grows  old;  moreover,  I  think  that  we  shall 
greet  thee  soon  with  a  hairy  palm." 

"I  have  begged  thee  not  to  interfere  be- 
tween me  and  Helena." 

"  Very  well.  I  will  say  only  that  Pani  Helena 
is  beautiful." 

"  Surely !  "  answered  Yosef,  with  ill-con- 
cealed pleasure. 

At  that  moment  Vasilkevich  appeared. 

"  I  have  run  in  a  moment,"  said  he.  "  Karol 
is  waiting  downstairs  for  me ;  we  are  going  to 
the  country  together.  Yosef,  I  have  business 
with  thee.  Briefly,  I  did  not  wish  to  mix  in 
thy  love  affairs,  notwithstanding  Augustino- 
vich's  prayers,  but  this   is   dragging   on  too 


In  Vain  in 

long.  Tell  me,  what  dost  thou  think  of  doing 
with  the  widow?  " 

Yosef  had  a  pipe  in  his  hand ;  this  he  hurled 
violently  into  the  corner  of  the  room ;  then  he 
sat  down  and  looked  Vasilkevich  in  the  eyes. 

"  Question  for  question,"  said  he.  "  Tell 
me,  what  hast  thou  to  do  with  the  matter?" 

Vasilkevich  frowned,  became  somewhat 
angry ;  still  he  answered  calmly,  — 

"  I  ask  as  one  comrade  may  ask  another. 
Helena  is  not  of  that  class  of  women  who  love 
one  day  but  not  the  day  following.  Besides, 
through  the  memory  of  Potkanski  each  of  his 
colleagues  has  the  right  to  expect  an  answer 
to  such  a  question." 

Yosef  rose ;  in  his  eyes  blazes  of  anger  were 
flashing. 

"But  if  I  give  no  answer,  then  what?  "  cried 
he. 

Vasilkevich  burst  out  in  his  turn,  — 

"  Then  thou  thinkest,  my  bird,  that  we  are 
going  to  let  thee  dupe  this  poor  woman,  and 
not  ask  what  thy  meaning  is?  Satan  take 
thee !  Thou  must  answer  to  us  for  the  honor 
of  Potkanski's  widow.  I  am  not  the  only  man 
who  will  inquire  about  it." 

They  stood  some  time  face  to  face,  eye  to 
eye,   each  with  a  storm    on  his    forehead,   as 


ii2  In  Vain 

if  testing  each  other.  Finally  Yosef,  though 
trembling  with  anger,  was  the  first  to  regain 
self-mastery. 

"  Hear  me,  Vasilkevich,"  said  he.  "  If  some 
other  man  had  done  this,  I  should  have  thrown 
him  out  of  doors.  I  am  not  of  those  who  let 
themselves  be  regulated,  and  I  do  not  under- 
stand why  thou  and  others  mix  in  affairs  not 
your  own.  In  every  case  this  offends  me.  I 
will  answer,  therefore,  thee  and  all  who  wish  to 
mention  the  honor  of  Helena,  that  I  will  give 
account  of  that  honor  only  to  myself,  that  I 
shall  not  permit  any  man  to  meddle  with  my 
acts,  and  that  thou  and  thine  are  committing 
a  brutal,  and  for  Helena  a  harmful  stupidity, 
in  no  way  to  be  explained  by  your  taking 
her  part.  I  have  done  speaking  and  I  am 
going  out,  leaving  thee  time  to  meditate  over 
what  thou  hast  done." 

Vasilkevich  remained  with  Augustinovich. 

"  Well?  Did  not  he  give  thee  a  head-wash- 
ing? "  inquired  the  latter. 

"  He  did." 

"  Hei !  wilt  thou  say,  then,  that  he  gave  thee 
a  head-washing?" 

"  He  did." 

u  Thou  hast  acted  stupidly ;  with  him  mildness 
was  needed  —  that  is  a  headstrong  fellow." 


In  Vain  113 

Yosef  went  straight  to  Helena.  He  was  ex- 
cited in  the  highest  degree;  he  could  not 
explain  Vasilkevich's  act,  but  he  felt  that 
that  third  hand,  interfering  between  him  and 
Helena,  pushed  them  apart  instead  of  bringing 
them  nearer. 

When  he  entered  Helena's  lodgings,  the 
door  of  her  chamber  was  closed;  the  maid 
could  not  tell  him  what  her  mistress  was  doing. 
He  opened  the  door.  Helena  was  sleeping, 
leaning  against  the  arm  of  a  large  easy-chair. 
Yosef  stood  in  the  doorway  and  looked  at  her 
with  a  wonderful  expression  on  his  face.  She 
did  not  waken ;  her  rounded  breast  rose  and 
fell  with  a  light  measured  movement.  There 
is  nothing  gentler  than  the  movement  of  a 
woman's  breast ;  resting  on  it,  it  is  possible  to 
be  rocked  to  sleep  as  in  a  cradle,  or  in  a  boat 
moved  lightly  by  the  waves.  Every  man  has 
passed  through  that  sleep  on  his  mother's 
breast.  The  secret  kingdom  of  sleep  is  re- 
vealed in  woman  by  this  movement  only,  which 
may  be  called  blessed,  so  many  conditions  of 
human  happiness  move  with  it  in  the  regions  of 
rest.  The  movement  of  angels'  wings  must  be 
like  it.  It  lulls  to  rest  everything,  from  the  cry 
of  the  infant,  to  the  proud  thoughts  of  the  sage. 
The  head  of  a  sage,  sleeping  on  the  breast  of  a 
8 


114  In  Vain 

woman,  is  the  highest  triumph  of  love.  Such 
thoughts  must  have  passed  through  Yosef's 
head,  for,  looking  at  the  slumbering  Helena,  he 
grew  milder  and  milder,  just  as  night  passes 
into  dawn ;  he  inclined  toward  her,  and  touched 
her  hand  lightly  with  his  lips. 

Helena  quivered,  and,  opening  her  eyes 
widely,  smiled  like  a  little  child  when  the 
velvety  kiss  of  its  mother  rouses  it  from 
sleep.  That  was  the  first  time  that  Yosef 
came  to  her  with  a  fondling  so  gentle  and 
delicate;  usually  he  came,  if  not  severe,  digni- 
fied; but  to-day  he  had  come  to  wipe  out 
and  forget  at  her  feet  the  bitter  impressions 
of  the  quarrel  with  Vasilkevich.  He  was 
seized  gradually  by  the  marvellous  power  of 
woman,  under  whose  influence  the  muddy 
deposit  of  the  soul  sinks  to  the  bottom  of 
oblivion.  But  he  was  too  greatly  agitated 
not  to  let  some  of  the  bitterness  which  he 
felt  a  few  moments  earlier  press  through  his 
words.  He  raised  his  head,  looked  into  her 
eyes,  and  said,  — 

"  Helena,  it  seems  to  me  that  I  love  thee 
very  deeply ;  but  the  folly  of  people  irritates 
my  personality,  challenges  me.  I  should  like 
to  find  strength  in  thee.  Trust  me,  Helena, 
love  me !  " 


In  Vain  115 

"I  do  not  understand  thee,"  replied  she. 

He  took  her  hand  and  spoke  tenderly,  — 

"Still,  thou  shouldst  understand  me.  I 
flatter  myself  that  I  am  not  second  to  Potkan- 
ski  in  love  for  thee,  or  in  labor  for  thy  happi- 
ness. But  there  is  a  difference  between  us. 
He  was  the  son  of  a  magnate,  he  could  give 
thee  his  hand  at  once,  surround  thee  with 
plenty.  I  am  the  son  of  a  handicraftsman,  I 
must  labor  long  yet  over  thy  happiness  and 
my  own.  I  will  not  desert  thee  now,  but  I  do 
not  wish  that  thou  as  my  wife  shouldst  touch 
the  cold  realities  of  poverty,  from  which  he 
disaccustomed  thee.  But  I  need  thy  love  and 
thy  confidence.     Speak,  Helena." 

Helena  said  nothing;  but  she  approached 
Yosef,  and,  putting  her  head  on  his  breast, 
raised  on  him  eyes  full  of  childlike  confidence. 

"This  is  my  answer,  my  good  Helenko," 
said  Yosef;  and  with  a  long  kiss  he  joined 
her  lips  to  his. 

"  This  may  be  egotism  on  my  part,"  con- 
tinued he,  "  but  forgive  me.  I  did  not  win 
thee  by  service  or  suffering,  I  have  done 
nothing  whatever  for  thee.  The  vision  of 
wealth  with  which  Potkanski  surrounded  thee 
on  the  one  hand,  the  devotion  of  Gustav  on 
the  other,  would   stand   forever   between   us. 


n6  In  Vain 

Let  me  deserve  thee,  Helena.  I  have  energy 
and  strength  sufficient,  I  will  not  deceive 
thee." 

Perhaps  it  seemed  to  Yosef  that  he  was 
speaking  sincerely;  but  how  much  offended 
vanity  there  was  in  his  words  each  person 
may  divine  easily  after  casting  an  eye  on  the 
conditions  in  which  Helena  had  lived  up  to 
that  time.  If  he  had  asked  for  her  hand 
immediately,  those  conditions  would  have 
changed  very  little,  and  certainly  not  for  the 
worse,  since  in  that  case,  sharing  his  lodg- 
ings with  her,  he  would  have  rid  himself  of 
Augustinovich  and  all  the  outlays  connected 
with  that  man.  On  the  other  hand,  it  is  proper 
to  acknowledge  that  he  kept  the  word  given 
Gustav  with  complete  conscientiousness. 
Nothing  had  changed  with  reference  to 
Helena.  Yosef  would  have  taken  her  at  that 
time  in  the  same  conditions  in  which  she  had 
been  for  two  years  past. 

Beyond  doubt  one  half  was  true  in  what  he 
had  told  her.  of  his  ambition ;  more  meaning 
still  was  there  in  his  wish  to  throw  down  the 
gauntlet  to  opponents ;  but  perhaps  the  weigh- 
tiest reason  of  all  why  he  did  not  marry  Helena 
was  found  in  the  relations,  of  great  intimacy 
between  them  of  people  not  united  by  bonds 


In  Vain  117 

which  give  more  than  the  right  to  fondling  and 
kisses.  The  cup  was  half  drunk.  Legalization 
would  lessen  the  charm  of  forbidden  fruit, 
would  decrease  sweetness  already  tasted,  more 
than  it  would  promise  new. 

It  will  appear  that  Augustinovich  was  right 
in  some  degree. 

Yosef  perhaps  did  not  acknowledge  to  him- 
self that  his  reason  for  not  desiring  to  change 
those  relations  was  because  he  lived  agreeably 
in  them. 

Did  he  not  love  Helena,  then? 

He  loved  her ;  otherwise  he  would  not  have 
visited  her  daily,  he  would  not  have  kissed 
her  lips,  her  forehead,  her  hands;  but  let  us 
remember  that  this  met  just  half  the  desires 
which  in  other  conditions  we  satisfy  through 
the  way  of  the  altar.  The  idea  of  a  betrothed 
is  that  of  a  woman  disrobed  behind  a  thin 
veil,  we  go  to  the  altar  to  remove  the  veil ; 
when  the  veil  disappears  a  part  of  the  charm 
is  lost.  Honest  human  nature  recompenses 
the  loss  by  the  idea  of  attachment;  when 
attachment  fails,  habit,  a  thing  still  less  en- 
ticing, appears  in  the  place  of  it. 

But  life  rolls  on. 

Yosef  had  touched  the  veil ;  two  ways  led 
to  its  removal,  —  one  the  way  of  the  altar ;  the 


n8  In  Vain 

other  a  momentary  oblivion  of  self,  a  victory 
of  passion  over  honor,  —  a  less  honest,  in  fact 
a  dishonest,  way,  but  short  and  alluring. 

The  first  was  difficult;  to  the  second  every 
moment  was  a  temptation,  every  kiss  an  incite- 
ment. To  the  first  the  unfortunate  guardian- 
ship over  Helena  disinclined  him;  selfishness 
counselled  the  second.  But  the  first  was  honor- 
able, the  second  was  not. 

Yosef  stood  at  the  parting  of  the  roads. 

It  might  be  said,  indeed,  that  an  honest  man 
should  not  hesitate ;  but  we  may  also  inquire 
how  an  honest  man  is  to  act  when  the  powers 
of  temptation  are  absolutely  greater  than  his 
powers  of  honesty. 

Helena  loved  Yosef;  she  answered  ner- 
vously to  his  kisses.  She  was  unable  to  turn 
the  balance  consciously;  unconsciously  she 
added  to  the  weight  of  that  defect  which  in 
Yosefs  soul  weighed  against  honesty  and 
honor. 

How  many  great  and  small  battles,  torments 
and  terrors,  that  magic  little  word  love  brings 
with  it  sometimes !  A  whole  rabble  of  wishes 
with  outbreak  and  uproar,  armed  with  goads 
and  bells,  a  rabble  capricious,  violent,  flies  up 
from  every  direction,  plays  with  the  human 
heart  as  with  a  ball,  hurls  it  to  the  lofty  stars, 


In  Vain  119 

or  tramples  it  on  the  earth.  Then,  O  man, 
all  the  dens  of  thy  soul  are  thrown  open. 
Thou  hadst  not  even  dreamed  of  what  dwelt 
in  them.  All  the  seven  deadly  sins,  and  all 
the  virtues  of  which  the  catechism  makes 
mention,  are  fighting  each  other  to  win  thee ; 
thou  seest  thyself  to  be  different  from  what 
thou  hadst  supposed  up  to  that  time ;  thou 
ceasest  to  trust  thyself,  suspectest  thyself  at 
every  step,  losest  control  of  thyself.  Passions 
rise  up  then  like  flames  from  the  depth  of  thy 
being,  and  like  hidden  currents  in  a  swamp, 
advance,  creep,  circle  about,  flow  up,  and  then 
vanish. 

The  night  of  thy  soul  is  rent  by  the  flame 
of  passions.  In  their  colors  thy  own  inte- 
rior is  shown  to  thee.  Thou  performest  the 
*61es  both  of  actor  and  audience.  Thou  art 
like  a  boat,  without  a  rudder  in  billows  of 
fire.  Then,  on  a  sudden,  one  thunderbolt 
finishes  everything;  the  flames  vanish  like 
fireworks,  and  thou  art  dreaming,  like  Dante, 
of  heaven  and  hell. 

It  is  gloomy  when  after  the  awakening  there 
is  no  one  to  give  back  the  moments  through 
which  thou  hast  suffered.  Calmness  returns, 
but  happiness  returns  not.  An  amputated 
arm  gives  no  pain,  but  it  does  not  exist. 


120  In  Vain 

It  may  be  that  Augustinovich  had  some 
truth  on  his  side,  when  he  said  that  it  was  not 
worth  while  to  give  life  for  a  single  feeling. 
Perhaps  a  man  should  not  break  himself 
against  the  narrow  walls  of  personal  whims  and 
desires. 

Above  and  around  us  is  a  broad  world; 
waves  are  roaring  there  which  have  been  raised 
by  the  whole  of  humanity.  Is  it  not  better  to 
weigh  anchor  and  push  one's  ship  forth  from 
the  shore,  quiet  the  weeping  heart,  and  sail  out 
into  a  future,  without  happiness  but  with  labor, 
without  faith  but  with  thought? 

It  is  certain  that  till  the  time  of  such  a  fiery 
test  comes  it  is  not  possible  to  speak  of  the 
nobility  of  the  metal  out  of  which  the  soul  of 
a  given  man  has  been  cast.  We  can  offer  no 
guarantees,  therefore,  for  the  future  acts  of 
Yosef.  He  passed  through  various  tempta- 
tions, we  know  that;  we  guarantee  that  he 
fought  with  them  according  to  his  power;  but 
how  it  ended,  whether  he  or  they  proved  the 
stronger,  will  be  told  later  on. 


In  Vain  121 


CHAPTER  X 

On  reaching  home  Yosef  met  the  old  count 
and  his  daughter  on  the  steps  at  the  door. 
The  young  lady  cast  a  glance  of  inquiry  on 
him,  and  when  she  had  gone  a  couple  of  steps, 
she  looked  around  and  smiled.  Yosef  noticed 
that  she  was  very  shapely,  and  with  genuine 
satisfaction  he  heard  her  say  to  her  father, 
"  That  is  the  young  doctor,  papa,  who  lives 
in  the  rooms  under  ours."  It  is  true  that  he 
lacked  little  of  finishing  his  course  at  the 
University;  still  he  was  glad  that  they  con- 
sidered him  a  doctor  already. 

Yosefs  lodgings  were  open ;  the  house  guard 
was  putting  them  to  rights.  From  him  Yosef 
learned  details  of  the  old  count  and  his 
daughter.  This  man  did  not  like  either  of 
them ;  he  emphasized  their  stinginess,  though 
he  imagined  that  they  must  be  very  poor, 
because  they  did  not  pay  room  rent  very 
regularly.  "  The  young  lady  is  haughty/' 
said  he ;  "  all  day  she  does  nothing  but  play 
and  sing.     It  is  hard  for  her   without  a  hus- 


122  In  Vain 

band,  but  what  is  to  be  done?"  He  did  not 
advise  Yosef  to  make  their  acquaintance. 

"How  proud  these  people  are,"  said  he; 
"but  in  their  pockets,  dear  lord,  there  is 
emptiness." 

"And  is  the  old  countess  long  dead?"  in- 
quired Yosef. 

"  About  three  years.  They  have  been  rich, 
I  suppose,  but  he  lost  his  property  in  wheat 
which,  as  they  say,  he  had  to  furnish  in  com- 
pany with  others  at  Odessa.  That  business 
impoverished  many  people.  The  old  countess 
was  better  than  others  of  her  family.  She  was 
an  honorable  lady,  but  she  fell  to  grieving,  and 
died.     They  have  lived  here  five  years." 

"  Do  they  know  many  people?" 

"  It  must  be  that  they  do  not,  for  I  have 
not  seen  any  one  visit  them." 

Yosef,  while  waiting  for  Augustinovich,  lay 
down  on  the  bed,  and  when  he  commanded 
to  bring  him  a  glass  of  tea,  he  fell  asleep 
quickly.  When  he  woke  up,  he  felt  a  trifle 
ill.  Augustinovich  had  not  come  yet,  though 
it  was  quite  dark.  He  arrived  at  last  in 
perfect  humor. 

The  lady  with  whom  he  had  become  ac- 
quainted, Pani  Visberg,  had  a  daughter  Ma- 
linka.      Augustinovich   examined   them   both 


In  Vain  123 

by  auscultation.  He  prescribed  dancing  for 
the  daughter  and  horseback  riding  for  the 
mother.  Besides,  he  promised  to  visit  them 
and  to  bring  Yosef. 

"  The  old  lady  said  that  the  summons  to 
the  count  was  ready,  which  does  not  con- 
cern me,"  said  Augustinovich.  "  She  has  even 
visited  the  count,  but  found  only  the  countess, 
who  pleased  her.  The  countess  was  much 
frightened  when  she  learned  the  object  of  the 
old  lady's  visit.  I  asked  Pani  Visberg  why 
she  claimed  a  miserable  two  thousand  when 
she  represented  herself  as  the  wife  of  a  Croesus. 
She  answered  that  her  late  husband's  name 
was  Cleophas,  not  Croesus.  *  If  it  were  mine/ 
said  she,  *  I  surely  would  not  annoy  them, 
but  all  that  money  belongs  to  my  child/ 
Then  I  pressed  the  hand  of  that  child  under 
the  table,  with  real  feeling.  I  was  simply 
moved  —  word  of  honor,  I  was  moved.  When 
going,  I  kissed  the  old  lady's  hand.  The  young 
lady's  name  is  Malinka  —  a  pretty  name,  Ma- 
linka,  though  the  point  is  not  in  this,  whether 
her  name  is  pretty  or  ugly  —  Why  art  thou 
so  pale,  Yosef?  " 

"  I  am  not  entirely  well,  and  I  cannot  sleep. 
I  fell  asleep  while  waiting  for  thee.  Give  me 
a  glass  of  tea." 


124  ?n  Vain 

Augustinovich  poured  out  the  tea,  and  light- 
ing his  pipe  lay  on  the  bed.  Yosef  pushed  an 
armchair  up  to  the  bureau,  and  taking  a  pen 
began  to  write. 

He  soon  stopped,  however.  Thoughts 
crowded  into  his  head ;  he  leaned  back  in  the 
chair  and  gave  them  free  course.  Another 
man  would  have  dreamed.  Yosef  collected 
and  summed  up  his  own  past;  he  thought  over 
the  conditions  in  which  he  was  then,  he  cast 
up  the  future.  Regarding  this  future,  it  was 
difficult  for  him  to  remain  in  the  role  of  a  cool 
reasoner.  The  words  "That  is  the  young 
doctor,  papa,"  came  to  his  memory  involunta- 
rily. To  be  a  doctor  and  to  some  extent  a  high- 
priest  of  science ;  to  rule  on  one  side  by  reason, 
on  the  other  by  significance,  property,  reputa- 
tion, —  Yosef  had  not  become  indifferent  yet  to 
reputation,  —  to  attract  glances,  rouse  laughter, 
win  hearts —  Here  he  remembered  Helena. 
In  the  region  of  feeling  he  was  not  free  now 
to  choose.  He  felt  bound ;  still  he  would  like 
to  see  eyes  turning  to  him,  and  the  smile  of  the 
maiden's  lips,  and  hear  the  words  so  prettily 
whispered,  "  That  is  the  young  doctor."  For 
the  first  time  he  could  not  free  himself  of  the 
thought  that  Helena  might  be  a  hindrance  to 
his  campaign  of  advancement.    He  determined 


In  Vain  125 

to  settle  with  that  thought.  Her  education 
was  not  in  the  way,  she  was  educated ;  she  was 
twenty-one  years  of  age,  he  twenty-four  —  the 
difference,  though  too  small,  did  not  constitute 
a  hindrance.  What  reasons  could  he  have  to 
fear  that  Helena  might  be  a  weight  on  him 
some  time?  Conscience  declared  that  the  first 
cause  ,was  his  own  vanity.  He  knew  women 
little,  and  he  wanted  to  know  them  much  and 
to  rule  them.  But  there  were  other  considera- 
tions which  Yosef  did  not  admit.  He  loved  too 
little.  In  his  soul  lay  enormous  capitals  of 
feeling ;  he  had  barely  offered  a  small  part  of 
them  in  the  name  of  Helena.  He  bore  within 
him  a  dim  consciousness  of  his  powers;  that 
foreboding  deprived  him  of  rest.  He  wanted 
to  reach  the  foundation  of  things,  but  it  was 
not  easy  for  even  such  a  self-conscious  head 
as  Yosef 's  to  reach  final  results. 

Besides,  he  did  not  know  himself  whether 
possible  future  triumphs  were  equal  in  value  to 
Helena.  To  have  near  him  for  all  future  time 
a  woman  so  charming  and  loving  was  the  same 
as  to  seize  in  its  flight  twinged  dream  of  hap- 
piness shooting  by,  but  if  besides  he  knew  how 
many  of  those  coming  triumphs  would  be  of 
tangible  value,  how  many  would  deceive  him, 
how   many  faces  there  were   before   him,  he 


126  In  Vain 

would  not  hesitate  in  the  choice.  But  he  had 
not  met  deceit  yet  face  to  face. 

Such  meditations  wearied  Yosef.  The  lamp 
in  the  room  grew  dim,  he  began  to  doze.  Some 
sudden  knocking  above  roused  him  again. 
"  They  are  not  sleeping  up  there,  either," 
thought  he.  He  remembered  the  countess  and 
her  gladsome  smile.  "  How  lightly  and  calmly 
such  a  girl  must  sleep !  But  there  is  some 
truth  in  this,  that  girls  are  like  birds.  A  man 
toils  and  labors  and  meditates,  and  they  — 
But  that  one  upstairs  is  quite  a  pretty  bird.  I 
should  like  to  see  her  asleep.  But  it  is  late 
now,  half-past  one,  and  I —  What  is  that?" 
He  sprang  quickly  to  his  feet. 

A  violent  pulling  at  the  bell  brought  him  to 
his  senses  perfectly.  He  opened  the  door,  and 
raising  the  lamp  saw  the  countess  before  him. 
She  was  as  pale  as  a  corpse ;  she  held  a  candle 
in  one  hand,  with  the  other  she  protected  the 
flame  of  it.  She  wore  a  cap,  and  a  dressing- 
gown  through  which  her  neck  and  bosom  were 
evident. 

"  Pan  Doctor !  "  cried  she,  "  my  father  is 
dying ! " 

Yosef,  without  saying  a  word,  seized  his 
medicine  case,  and  enjoining  on  Augustinovich 
to  hurry  upstairs  with  all  speed,  he  ran  him- 


In  Vain  127 

self  after  her.  In  the  first  chamber  was  the 
small  bed  of  the  countess,  with  the  blanket 
thrown  aside,  and  left  just  a  moment  before ; 
in  the  next  room  lay  the  count.  He  was 
breathing  or  rather  rattling  loudly,  for  he  was 
unconscious ;  there  was  bloody  foam  on  his  lips, 
and  his  face  was  livid. 

In  a  moment  Augustinovich  ran  in,  un- 
combed and  hardly  dressed.  Both  occupied 
themselves  with  the  sick  man  without  regard 
to  the  young  girl,  who  had  knelt  at  the  foot  of 
the  bed,  and  was  nearly  unconscious. 

All  at  once  Yosef  and  Augustinovich  looked 
each  other  in  the  eyes;  both  had  seen  that 
there  was  not  the  least  hope. 

"  O  my  God  !  my  God  !  Call  in  some  one 
else,  perhaps,"  burst  out  the  countess,  in 
tears. 

"  Run  for  Skotnitski,"  cried  Yosef. 

Augustinovich  ran,  although  he  felt  certain 
that  on  returning  with  the  doctor  he  would  not 
find  the  count  among  the  living. 

Meanwhile  Yosef,  with  all  energy  and  pres- 
ence of  mind,  worked  at  the  patient.     He  ble^ 
him ;  then,  looking  at  the  clock,  declared  that 
the  attack  was  over. 

"  Thank  God  !  There  is  hope  then?  "  cried 
the  countess. 


128  In  Vain 

u  The  attack  is  over !  "  repeated  Yosef. 

Meanwhile  Augustinovich  came  with  the 
doctor. 

Doctor  Skotnitski  declared  that  the  sick  man 
was  saved  for  that  time,  but  without  ceremony 
he  added  that  in  case  of  a  second  attack  death 
would  ensue  unfailingly.  He  commanded  to 
watch  the  sick  man  and  not  leave  him  for  an 
instant.  Our  friends  sat  all  night  at  his 
bedside. 

Next  morning  early  the  count  regained  con- 
sciousness and  asked  for  a  priest.  Augustino- 
vich had  to  go  for  one.  He  brought  some 
parish  priest  or  chaplain,  who  read  the  usual 
prayers  and  litany,  leard  the  sick  man's 

confession,  gave  hfcb  communion,  and  an- 
ointed him  with  holy  oil. 

For  a  number  of  hours  the  count  was 
conscious;  he  spoke  wiru  Yosef,  blessed  his 
daughter,  spoke  of  r  -C*l,  in  a  word,  did 
everything  which  is  i  1  when  people  are 
dying  in  a  Christian  ai»»  honest  way  of  going 
from  this  world  to  the  other.  The  whole  day 
passed  in  these  ceremonies.  When  dusk  came 
Yosef  persuaded  the  countess  to  take  some 
rest ;  for  the  poor  girl,  though  of  a  firm  con- 
stitution, was  barely  able  to  stand  on  her  feet 
from  watching  and  suffering. 


In  Vain  129 

She  resisted  long,  and  agreed  only  when  he 
almost  commanded  her  to  do  so.  When  leav- 
ing the  room  she  gave  her  hand,  thanking  him 
for  his  care  of  her  father.  Yosef  looked  at 
her  more  carefully  then.  She  might  have 
been  twenty,  perhaps  even  less,  for  her  well- 
developed  form  caused  one  to  consider  her 
older  than  she  was  really.  She  had  a  large 
but  agreeable  mouth,  blue,  clever  eyes,  and 
dark  hair.  In  general,  her  face  was  uncom- 
monly sympathetic.  She  had  a  beautiful  fore- 
head shaded  with  hair ;  the  expression  of  her 
face,  and  her  movements  indicated  a  devel- 
oped aristocratic  type  of  beauty.  Moreover, 
she  had  very  small  hi 

The  count  fell  aslee1  a  hour  after  she  had 
gone  out.  Yosef  and  Augustinovich  sat  by  a 
shaded  lamp ;  both  were  wearied  and  thought- 
ful. Augustinovic^  sooke  first  in  a  low 
voice, —  '•** 

"  Tell  me  what  w.  :come  of  the  countess 
when  he  —  "  He  inc  „ated  with  his  head  the 
sick  man,  and  closing  his  eyes  drew  a  finger 
along  his  throat. 

"  I  am  thinking  of  that  myself,"  replied  Yo- 
sef. "  Perhaps  some  one  of  the  family  may  be 
found." 

"But  if  he  is  not  found?" 
9 


130  In  Vain 

"  It  will  be  necessary  to  talk  with  her.  They 
are  poor,  evidently;  the  guard  told  me  that 
their  rent  is  not  paid  yet.  But  it  cannot  be 
that  they  have  no  blood  relatives  somewhere, 
or  at  least  acquaintances." 

"Well,  in  every  case  speak  of  this  later," 
said  Augustinovich,  who  did  not  like  to  dwell 
long  on  one  subject. 

"Wait,"  interrupted  Yosef;  "at  least  one 
idea  comes  to  my  head.  So  far  no  one 
has  been  here,  and  it  is  impossible  that  that 
poor  girl "  —  he  indicated  with  his  eyes  the 
room  where  the  countess  was  sleeping  — 
"  impossible  for  that  poor  girl  to  stay  here 
alone  after  his  death.  Tell  me,  is  thy  ac- 
quaintance, Pani   Visberg,  a   pious  woman?" 

"  As  pious  as  a  chalice  cover !  " 

"  Honest,  simple?" 

"In  an  unheard-of  degree:  but  what  con- 
nection has  that  with  the  countess?  " 

"  I  wish  to  place  the  countess  in  her  care." 

"But  the  lawsuit?" 

"  Just  because  of  that." 

Here  the  sick  man  moved  suddenly.  Yosef 
looked  at  him  quickly,  then  whispered, — 

"  One  instalment  of  rent  stands  in  my  way, 
but  this  and  that  may  be  arranged,  perhaps 
something  can  be  done  after  his  death." 


In  Vain  131 

"  Oi,  rent,  rent !  "  whispered  Augustinovich. 
"  To  keep  us  awake  I  must  tell  thee  a  little  tale. 
I  have  never  paid  rent,  I  was  enraged  when- 
ever rent  was  even  mentioned,  and  I  never 
could  accustom  any  house-owner  to  refuse 
taking  it.  At  last  I  succeeded  with  one.  He 
was  an  old  little  fellow,  and  stupid  as  the  ears 
of  Midas.  Well,  once  I  was  sitting  in  a  small 
garden  which  belonged  to  him,  and  because 
the  season  was  summer  and  the  time  night, 
for  want  of  a  better  occupation  I  was  counting 
the  stars  in  the  sky.  I  was  dreaming  some- 
what ;  a  starry  night,  as  thou  knowest,  brings 
a  dreamy  state  of  mind.  Thereupon  that  ass 
came  to  me  and  spoke  absurdly.  He  simply 
wanted  me  to  pay  him.  I  rose  from  my  place, 
and  outlining  in  solemnity  with  my  hand  a 
bow  between  the  east  and  the  west,  I  asked 
mysteriously,  — 

" '  Dost  see  this  immensity  and  those  millions 
of  the  lights  of  God?' 

" '  I  see/  answered  he,  frightened  somewhat 
by  the  tone  of  my  inquiry ;  '  but  — ' 

"  '  Silence ! '  said  I,  in  an  imperious  voice. 
And  removing  my  hat  I  raised  my  eyes,  and 
looking  at  the  astonished  man  I  thundered,  — 

"' Useless  dust!  compare  thy  five  rubles  — '" 

On  a  sudden  a  suppressed  groan  interrupted 


132  In  Vain 

Augustinovich.  The  count  had  become  livid, 
he  was  twisted  up,  the  fingers  of  his  hands 
were  balled  into  lumps;  the  second  attack 
had  come  evidently. 

At  that  moment  Yosef  rushed  to  the  sick 
man  and  straightened  his  arm  almost  by 
force. 

"  Ys  !  —  Bleed  him  !  "  said  he  in  a  low  voice. 

There  was  silence.  By  a  wonderful  chance 
the  lamp  at  that  moment  grew  darker.  From 
instant  to  instant  was  heard  the  quick  low 
voice  of  Yosef,  — 

"His  pulse?    Water!" 

"  He  is  stifling,"  whispered  Augustinovich. 

Both  held  the  breath  in  their  breasts;  the 
dull  sound  of  the  lance  was  heard.  The  steel 
sank  in  the  old  man's  flesh,  but  blood  did  not 
come. 

"  This  is  the  end !  All  is  useless !  "  said 
Yosef,  drawing  a  deep  breath. 

Drops  of  sweat  came  out  on  his  forehead. 

"He  lived  — he  lived  till  he  died,"  said 
Augustinovich,  with  the  most  indifferent  mien 
in  the  world.  "  We  have  done  our  part,  now 
to  sleep." 


In  Vain  133 


CHAPTER  XI 

The  count  died  really,  and  was  buried  accord- 
ing to  Christian  ceremonial.  After  his  death 
Yosef  paid  a  visit  to  the  old  lady.  It  was  a 
question  of  securing  guardianship  for  the 
countess,  since  no  one  of  the  family  had  come 
forward. 

The  count  had  left  very  scanty  means  of 
maintenance,  and  even  if  he  had  left  more  the 
countess  was  too  young  to  manage  a  house 
alone. 

Because  of  the  lofty  piety  and  exceeding 
delicacy  of  conscience  of  Pani  Visberg,  it  was 
not  difficult  for  Yosef  to  arrange  the  business 
he  had  mentioned.  He  persuaded  her  that 
she  had  killed  the  count  by  her  lawsuit,  and 
therefore  she  was  bound  to  give  protection 
to  the  daughter  of  her  victim.  The  lady  was 
greatly  terrified  at  the  executioners  of  hell, 
with  whom  Yosef  threatened  her,  and  on  the 
other  hand  she  judged  that  the  companionship 
of  the  countess,  who  was  of  society  and  highly 
educated  as  Yosef  declared,  would  not  be 
without  profit  to  Malinka. 


134  fa  Vain 

Pani  Visberg  was  an  honorable  woman  in 
the  full  sense  of  the  word ;  she  had  not  much 
wit,  it  is  true,  and  still  less  acquaintance  with 
society.  The  best  proof  of  this  was  that  she 
considered  Augustinovich  the  acme  of  ele- 
gance, polish,  and  good  tone.  Yosef  she 
feared  a  little,  from  the  time  of  his  first  visit. 
But  she  was  content  in  soul  that  such  dis- 
tinguished young  men,  as  she  said,  were  in- 
clined to  her  lowly  threshold. 

Malinka,  who  in  many  regards  resembled 
her  mother,  was  seriously  smitten  with  Augus- 
tinovich. She  had  induced  the  old  lady  to 
take  a  permanent  residence  in  Kieff ;  for  that 
matter  Pani  Visberg  had  come  to  the  city 
somewhat  with  that  intent.  She  wished  to 
show  her  daughter  to  the  world,  for  Malinka 
was  nineteen  years  of  age,  and  during  those 
nineteen  years  she  had  been  once  in  Kieff, 
once  in  Jitomir,  and  had  sat  out  Jhe  rest 
of  the  time  at  home.  Fortune  permitted  a 
residence  in  the  city.  The  late  Pan  Visberg 
had  been  in  his  day  an  official  in  the  custom- 
house, though  in  a  funeral  speech  over  his 
grave  these  words  had  been  uttered :  u  Sleep, 
Cleophas  Visberg!  for  during  long  ages  the 
nations  (all  Europe)  will  admire  thy  in- 
tegrity and  stern  rectitude."     We  say   Cleo- 


In  Vain  135 

phas  Visberg  left  to  his  wife,  inconsolable  in 
her  sorrow,  about  nine  times  one  hundred 
thousand  zlotys,  and  he  would  have  left  more 
if  inexorable  Fate  had  not  cut  short  his  days. 
He  entered  the  kingdom  of  shadows  more 
sated  with  years  than  with  income. 

But  this  income  fell  to  good  hands,  for  both 
ladies  had  excellent  hearts.  They  helped 
widows  and  orphans ;  they  paid  their  servants, 
male  and  female,  regularly ;  they  paid  tithes  to 
their  church  faithfully;  in  a  word,  they  per- 
formed all  Christian  deeds  which  concern  soul 
and  body. 

They  received  the  countess  with  open  arms, 
and  with  as  much  cordiality  as  if  they  had 
been  her  relatives.  Malinka,  an  honest  though 
simple  maiden,  was  in  love  out  and  out  with  the 
noble  orphan.  How  much  she  promised  her- 
self from  the  first  glance  to  be  kind  and  oblig- 
ing to  her,  how  much  she  wished  to  comfort 
her,  how  much  she  dreamed  of  a  pure  friend- 
ship with  her  in  the  future,  it  would  be  difficult 
to  tell;  enough  that  Yosef  found  as  good 
protection  for  the  countess  as  if  she  had  been 
in  the  house  of  her  own  parents — it  could 
not  have  been  better. 

It  is  true  that  the  countess  was  well  fitted  to 
rouse  sympathy.     The  silent  and  deep  sorrow 


136  In  Vain 

which  weighed  her  down  at  the  moment  did 
not  remove  her  so  far  from  reality  that  she 
could  not  be  charming  to  those  who  were  kind 
to  her.  She  thanked  Yosef  with  tears  in  her 
eyes;  stretched  to  him  a  hand,  which  he, 
with  emotion  rare  in  him,  pressed  to  his  lips. 
"  As  I  love  God !  "  said  Augustinovich,  "  I 
almost  wept  when  she  looked  at  me.  May  the 
devils  take  me  if  she  is  not  a  hundred  times 
more  beautiful  than  I  am." 

In  fact,  that  new  figure,  attended  already  with 
words  of  sympathy,  had  connected  itself  with 
the  fate  of  the  heroes  of  this  book.  That  a 
countess  like  her  could  not  remain  without  in- 
fluence on  them  is  understood  easily.  Whether 
the  future  will  attach  angel  wings  to  the  shoul- 
ders of  the  countess,  or  show  in  her  charming 
body  a  barren,  hypocritical  soul,  the  continua- 
tion will  teach  us. 

Hei !  hei !  If  this  life  resembled  a  book ;  if 
it  were  possible  to  give  people  souls  such  as 
are  created  in  thought ;  but  then  would  these 
be  people  like  the  rest  of  mankind?  It  would 
be  all  one,  however,  for  poison  cakes  are  the 
food  of  this  world,  as  the  boy  said.  The 
human  soul  is  like  a  spring ;  it  carries  poison 
far,  and  what  man  can  guarantee  that  poison 
is  not  lying  at  the  bottom  of  his  own  soul,  and 


In  Vain  137 

that  he  would  not  create  poisoned  characters? 
The  soul  is  blank  paper !  God  writes  on  one 
side,  and  Satan  on  the  other;  but  God  and 
Satan  are  only  symbols  in  this  case.  In  fact, 
there  is  another  hand ;  the  world  is  that  hand 
really.  The  world  writes  on  the  soul,  good 
and  bad  people  write  on  it,  moments  of  hap- 
piness write  there,  suffering  writes  more  en- 
duringly  than  all.  But  there  are  souls  like 
mussels.  The  mussel  changes  grains  of  sand, 
and  the  soul  pain,  into  pearls;  sadness  and 
solitude  are  the  means.  But  not  always.  It 
depends  on  the  soul.  Sadness  and  solitude 
sometimes  conceal  weariness,  emptiness,  and 
stupidity.  These  three  full  sisters  like  to  dwell 
in  palaces  built  of  sadness  and  solitude,  seek- 
ing that  which  they  have  never  lost.  It  does 
not  follow  from  this  that  there  are  no  charms 
in  solitude.  Sadness  has  none,  at  least  for  a 
sad  person.  Solitude  for  the  soul  is  some- 
thing like  a  time  of  sleep  for  the  body.  Nay, 
more ;  that  misty  monad,  the  soul,  seems  to 
dissolve  in  solitude,  to  separate,  to  vanish,  to 
cease  its  existence  almost ;  words  and  thoughts 
end  in  that  silent  region ;  the  soul  is  annihi- 
lated for  a  season,  separates  on  all  sides  from 
its  own  centre.     All  this  is  called  rest. 

Solitude  is  the  worst  term  that  the  human 


138  In  Vain 

mind  has  had  wit  to  invent ;  solitude  is  never 
alone,  silence  always  goes  with  it. 

It  is  a  pity  that  the  misty  garments  of  this 
lady  called  Solitude  are  borne  most  frequently 
by  that  seductive  page  whose  name  is  Laziness. 

But  sometimes,  say  the  poets,  solitude  gives 
a  creative  moment.  The  soul  is  lost  then  and 
trembles,  inclining  to  receive  some  vision  fly- 
ing in  from  beyond. 

For  this  reason  only  fools  or  sages  love 
solitude  greatly. 

What  was  the  countess  ? 

Let  us  see.  It  is  time  to  descend  from 
cloudy  heights  to  life's  realities.  Let  the 
countess  enter!  How?  As  a  young  maiden 
—  can  there  be  anything  more  charming  under 
the  sun?  Such  a  beautiful  mixture  of  blood, 
body,  perfumes,  flowers,  sun  rays  —  and  what 
else? 

Our  illusions. 

Fly  in,  golden  butterfly. 


In  Vain  139 


CHAPTER  XII 

Sad,  indeed,  had  been  the  previous  life  of  the 
countess.  During  her  father's  life  she  had  sat 
whole  days  in  a  chamber  which  was  lonely 
and  almost  poor,  listening  to  the  twittering  of 
sparrows  outside  the  windows,  or  the  quarrels 
of  girls  in  the  kitchen. 

The  old  count  came  home  every  evening 
wearied  and  broken  with  ceaseless  pouring 
from  the  empty  into  the  void,  as  he  called  his 
affairs.  Nothing  succeeded  with  him.  In  his 
time  he  had  been  active  and  industrious ;  he 
had  wished  to  give  the  aristocracy  an  example 
of  how  men  with  escutcheons  should  apply 
themselves  to  labor  and  industry,  and  as  a  re- 
sult, he  lost  his  property.  There  remained  to 
him  in  return  experience  which  he  would  have 
been  glad  to  sell  for  a  few  thousand,  and  still 
one  other  thing  which  he  would  not  have  sold, 
that  is,  his  reminiscences  and  his  family  pride. 

In  him  the  cement  of  that  experience  and 
that  pride  was  his  hatred  of  life,  of  men,  of  the 
whole   world.     This  was    natural.     His    own 


140  In  Vain 

people  did  not  receive  him,  and  those  who  did 
receive  the  man,  received  him  in  such  fashion 
that  the  fable  of  the  dying  lion  and  the  asses' 
hoofs  came  to  one's  memory.  If  he  had  only 
had  a  son !  The  young  eagle  might  fly  from 
the  nest  with  new  strength,  seeking  light  and 
the  sun  —  but  a  daughter !  The  old  man  did 
not  deceive  himself:  a  daughter  must  become 
either  an  old  maid,  or  marry  after  his  death 
the  first  man  who  met  her.  For  this  reason 
the  count  did  not  love  his  daughter  as  much 
as  he  should  have  loved.  In  spite  of  that  the 
daughter  loved  him  sincerely.  She  loved  him 
because  he  had  white  hair,  because  he  was  un- 
fortunate, finally,  because  she  had  no  one  else 
to  love.  Moreover,  he  was  for  her  the  last 
volume  of  the  story  which  she  was  weaving  on 
in  her  mind. 

Frequently  in  the  evening  her  father  told  her 
in  his  plaintive  voice  of  the  ancient  deeds  of 
their  family,  full  of  glitter  and  glory,  old  his- 
tories pleasant  for  counts  and  countesses ;  and 
she  while  listening  to  them  fixed  her  whole  soul 
in  that  past. 

Often  it  seemed  to  her  that  from  the  golden 
web  of  the  legend  some  winged  figure  tore 
itself  free,  half  a  hussar  knight  with  a  crooked 
sabre  in  his  grasp,  an  eagle-like  son  of  the 


In  Vain  141 

steppe  and  of  battle.  He  waved  his  hand,  and 
the  steppes  were  cleared  of  Tartars.  One 
might  say,  "  I  can  see  the  Crimea  and  the  blue 
waves  beyond."  Hei !  the  usual  dreams  of  a 
maiden !  As  wide  as  the  steppes  are,  so  many 
are  the  songs  of  his  actions;  and  then  he  is 
so  covered  with  glory,  though  youthful;  so 
bloody,  though  so  beloved.  He  bent  his  fore- 
head before  some  female  figure.  The  usual 
dream  of  a  magnate's  daughter !  That  female 
figure  is  she ;  he  a  Herburt  or  a  Koretski. 

And  as  she  was  reared,  so  did  she  imagine ; 
and  these  imaginings  had  no  use,  nay,  they 
were  perhaps  harmful,  though  attractive.  So, 
when  the  old  man  finished  the  stories,  and  re- 
membering the  present,  added  with  bitterness, 
"  My  fault,  my  fault !  "  she  wound  her  arms 
around  his  neck,  then,  saying  usually,  "  Not 
thy  fault,  papa;  those  times  will  return  again." 

But  those  times  did  not  return.  The  old 
man  died,  and  no  knight  appeared  as  a  guar- 
dian, no  knight  cut  from  the  blackened  back- 
ground of  a  picture.  The  form  which  appeared 
had  nothing  in  common  with  knighthood. 
That  head  with  severe  face  and  broad  fore- 
head, the  cold  face  of  a  modern  thinker,  in  no 
manner,  even  in  the  dreams  of  a  maiden,  did 
it  fit  to  a  bronze  helmet  with  ostrich  plumes. 


142  In  Vain 

Other  powers  must  have  pulsated  in  the  fore- 
head of  a  man  leading  winged  regiments 
against  Tartars. 

But,  on  the  other  hand,  Yosef  was  something 
entirely  new  for  the  countess,  something  which 
made  her  admire.  There  were  not  many 
words  in  him,  but  there  was  force.  In  a  short 
time  he  became  for  her  everything ;  she  found 
in  the  man  decision,  energy,  and  swiftness  of 
action.  Perhaps  she  could  not  explain  to  her- 
self that  that  also  was  manhood,  only  different 
from  the  manhood  of  the  past ;  or  was  she  un- 
able to  discern  that?  The  old  count  succeeded 
in  nothing.  Yosef  when  he  had  taken  up  her 
affairs  did  in  one  day  more  than  the  count  had 
ever  done  in  ten.  He  understood  that  the 
countess  needed  some  resources,  so  as  not  to 
appeal  in  small  things  to  the  kindness  and 
pocket  of  Pani  Visberg.  At  this  thought  she 
trembled.  He  had  foreseen  it.  He  rescued 
radically  the  jemnant  of  her  income ;  and  his 
acts  in  this  regard  were  like  the  cut  of  a  lancet, 
ever  sure,  always  efficient.  Naturally,  Yosef 
managed  by  the  aid  of  a  jurist,  an  acquaint- 
ance, who,  though  young,  would  have  talked 
love  of  God  into  Satan.  But  why  did  not  the 
old  count  help  himself  in  a  similar  fashion? 

This  brought  the  countess  to  a  certain  idea: 


In  Vain  143 

Aristocracy  she  imagined  to  herself  in  the 
person  of  her  father,  democracy  in  the  person 
of  Yosef.  "  Oh,  what  people  they  must  be !  " 
thought  she,  almost  with  dread, "  terrible  people 
who  know  how  to  crush  obstacles,  another  kind 
of  people."     Books  told  the  rest  to  her. 

The  countess  went  far  in  such  thoughts. 
Once  when  she  asked  Yosef  for  details  concern- 
ing his  past,  she  heard  him  answer  with  perfect 
freedom,  "  My  father  was  a  blacksmith."  She 
could  hardly  understand  how  he  dared  tell  such 
a  thing,  so  natural  did  it  seem  to  her  that  if 
that  were  the  case  he  ought  not  to  mention  it. 
Why  did  he  not  conceal  it?  These  words  were 
really  a  hammer  which  struck  the  soul  of  the 
countess  most  heavily. 

She  surveyed  Yosef  with  an  astonished 
glance,  as  if  seeking  a  leather  apron  on  him, 
or  traces  of  sparks  on  his  hands.  Besides,  it  is 
proper  to  confess  that,  despite  all  her  gratitude 
to  him  and  Pani  Visberg,  she  judged  at  first, 
in  silence  it  is  true,  that  the  coronet  inclined 
those  people  to  her ;  she  judged  that  in  shelter- 
ing the  daughter  of  a  lord  they  did  that  some- 
what to  do  themselves  honor.  But  she  learned 
that  touching  Yosef  she  was  thoroughly  mis- 
taken. He  pronounced  the  word  count  just 
as  he  did  the  word  Jew,  gipsy,  or  noble,  not 


°F  THE 

Diversity 
^iBm^^  Vain 

even  turning  attention  to  the  special  sense  of 
those  sounds. 

Did  he  not  understand?  She  could  not 
admit  that,  though  really  the  question  of  aris- 
tocracy lay  thus  far  untouched  in  his  mind. 
She  suspected  him,  however,  of  ignoring  it  pur- 
posely. But  that  was  not  enough,  —  the  coun- 
tess noticed  in  Yosef  s  treatment  of  her  a 
certain  loftiness  or  rather  indulgence.  He  was 
considerate  and  kind  toward  her,  but  in  such  a 
manner  as  if  he  wished  to  show  that  his  action 
was  the  yielding  of  strength  before  weakness, 
the  indulgence  of  a  strong  man  for  a  child; 
though,  on  the  other  hand,  how  safe  she  felt 
under  such  protection ! 

It  seemed  to  her  as  if  there  was  nothing  im- 
possible to  Yosef.  She  could  sleep  quietly  and 
calmly ;  he  was  on  guard.  She  tried,  however, 
at  once  to  relate  herself  to  him  differently; 
she  wished  to  dazzle  him  with  her  culture. 
Meanwhile  it  came  out  that  Yosef  corrected  her 
ideas  gently,  —  showed  her  what  was  right  in 
them,  what  was  erroneous.  Briefly,  to  her 
great  disgust,  he  taught  and  enlightened  her. 
She  tried  to  impose  by  her  talent,  and  on  a 
certain  occasion  she  sat  down  at  the  piano  as 
if  by  chance  and  displayed  cascades  of  melody 
before  him ;  but  what?  That  tormented  Augus- 


In  Vain  145 

tinovich  sat  down  after  her  and  played  far 
better.  This  fellow  also  knew  how  to  do  every- 
thing, he  knew  everything ! 

The  countess  went  in  deep  thought  to  her 
chamber  that  evening.  But  that  she  compre- 
hended and  understood  these  relations  showed 
that  her  intelligence  was  not  among  the  least, 
and  it  was  not  wonderful  that  she  thought  of 
these  relations  so  soon  after  the  death  of  her 
father,  for  even  the  very  despair  of  a  "well- 
bred  "  woman  has  in  it  a  certain  coquetry  more 
or  less  conscious,  though  always  innocent. 

So  a  silent  battle  had  begun  between  a  new 
child  of  the  people  and  an  aristocratic  young 
lady.  It  was  developed  by  those  relations 
which  we  have  mentioned,  relations  which  were 
barely  tangible.  This  struggle  was  the  more 
dangerous  for  him  since  he  did  not  suspect  it. 
The  countess  was  not  able  to  dazzle  him,  but  she 
roused  in  him  the  most  lively  sympathy.  For 
him  she  became  a  kind  of  beloved  child  whose 
fate  he  held  in  his  hand,  as  it  seemed  to  him. 

Occupied  with  her  actively,  he  neglected 
Helena;  his  visits  to  her  became  rarer.  He 
pursued  more  the  thought  of  doing  something 
which  might  be  agreeable  to  the  countess  than 
he  fled  before  the  thought  of  doing  something 
disagreeable  to  Helena. 
10 


146  In  Vain 

As  for  the  countess,  it  is  easy  to  understand 
that  in  her  feelings  for  him  there  was  not  and 
could  not  be  anything  which  contained  hate  in 
it.  A  somewhat  roused  vanity  might  lead 
rather  to  love  than  to  hatred.  To  tell  the 
truth,  Countess  Lula  wished  simply  that  that 
energetic  democrat  might  in  future  bend  to  her 
aristocratic  knees  his  submissive  and  enamoured 
head. 

But  she  had  not  put  the  object  clearly  till  she 
noticed  that  Yosef  was  a  handsome  man.  We 
will  state  in  parenthesis  that  Countess  Leocadia 
was  twenty  years  old,  and  that  for  some  time 
there  had  been  roused  in  her  soul  various 
yearnings  and  disquiets,  of  which  she  could  not 
render  account  to  herself.  In  the  language  of 
poets,  that  would  have  been  called  the  echo  of 
a  desire  "  to  love  and  be  loved,  and  perhaps 
even  to  die  young."  But  whatever  the  ques- 
tion was,  we  may  be  satisfied  by  knowing  that 
it  furnished  Lula  with  a  thread  of  continual 
thinking  of  Yosef,  the  confidence  which  she 
had  in  him.  Her  gratitude  for  protection 
experienced  from  day  to  day  increased  her 
sympathy. 

It  is  true  that  the  old  countess  in  her  time 
had  told  Lula  that  a  well-bred  young  lady 
must  not  love ;  but  Mother  Nature  whispered 


In  Vain  147 

to  her  something  quite  different.  In  truth, 
those  two  mothers  are  often  in  disagreement. 
This  is  one  reason  why  in  the  souls  of  most 
women  a  broad  robust  feeling  rarely  springs 
up  and  becomes  vigorous  in  them;  on  the 
contrary,  a  thousand  nervous  little  loves  are 
planted,  less  winged,  but  less  binding. 

Lula  verified  the  fact,  then,  that  Yosef  was 
intellectual,  noble,  and  a  handsome  man;  we 
will  not  dare  to  guarantee  which  quality  it  was 
that  she  emphasized  most.  That  evening, 
however,  when  she  was  going  to  sleep  she 
gave  herself  this  question,  which  in  the  sequel 
was  important,  "  But  if  he  loved  me  ?  " 

Instead  of  an  answer  she  ran  with  bare  feet 
and  half  dressed  to  the  glass.  Authors  alone 
are  permitted  to  see  pictures  of  this  sort.  The 
night-cap  was  on  her  head,  and  from  under 
the  cap  came  to  her  white  shoulders  tresses 
of  dark  hair  which  disappeared  under  her 
night-dress.  With  gleaming  eyes  and  moving 
breast  she  gazed  at  the  glass.  "But  if  he 
loved  me,"  repeated  she,  "  and  if  he  were 
to  kneel  here  pale  and  burning  —  "  At  that 
moment  a  blood-red  blush  covered  her  face 
and  neck;  she  blew  out  the  light. 

Thenceforth  peculiar  changes  began  to  ap- 
pear  in  her;    sometimes   a   strange   disquiet 


148  In  Vain 

mastered  her,  she  fell  into  thoughtfulness ; 
sometimes  she  walked  as  if  drowsy,  as  if  op- 
pressed, weakened ;  at  another  time  she  covered 
her  head  on  Malinka's  breast,  and  kissed  her 
without  reason.     Yosef  she  saw  daily. 

And  so  days  and  months  passed  ;  but  by 
degrees  some  change  began  to  take  place  in 
Yosef  too.  Gradually  that  dear  child  had 
ripened  in  his  soul  and  become  a  beautiful 
woman  in  full  bloom.  His  glance  when  he 
looked  at  her  had  not  that  former  complete 
transparency  and  calmness.  Formerly  he 
might  have  lulled  her  to  sleep  on  his  breast, 
and  laid  her  as  he  would  a  child  on  a  couch ; 
to-day  that  would  have  caused  a  surprisingly 
different  sensation.  The  idyl  grew  stronger 
in  the  spirit  of  both,  till  at  last,  after  so  many 
and  so  many  days,  or  so  many  and  so  many 
months,  the  following  conversations  took  place 
in  the  lodgings  of  Pani  Visberg  and  those  of 
Yosef. 

"If  thou  wert  in  love,  Malinka?" 

"  Then,  my  Lula,  I  should  be  very  happy, 
and  I  should  love  very  much ;  and  seest  thou, 
my  Lula,  the  Lord  God  would  arrange  so  that 
the  man  should  love  me  also." 

"But  if  he  did  not  love?" 

Malinka  rubbed  her  forehead  with  her  hand. 


In  Vain  149 

"  I  do  not  know,  I  do  not  know,  but  it  seems 
to  me  that  there  is  a  difference  between  loving 
and  loving.  I  should  love  this  way  —  O  God ! 
I  do  not  know  how  to  tell  it  —  this  way  is  how 
I  should  love  —  " 

Malinka  threw  her  arms  around  the  neck  of 
her  friend,  and  pressing  her  to  her  bosom, 
covered  her  with  fondling  and  kisses. 

"  My  Lula,  he  would  have  to  love  me  then." 

And  like  two  doves  they  hid  their  heads  on 
the  breasts  of  each  other. 

There  was  silence. 

"  Malinka !  "  said  Lula  at  last,  with  tears  in 
her  voice. 

"  Lula,  my  heartfelt !  " 

"  Malinka,  I  love." 

"  I  know,  Lula." 

•  •  •  .  •  • 

"  Old  man ! "  said  Augustinovich  to  Yosef. 

"What  news?" 

"  May  I  be if  this  is  new.     Old  man, 

I  saw  thee  kissing  the  countess's  veil.  May  I 
be  hanged  if  thou  didst  not  kiss  it!  Well, 
thou  art  fond  of  kissing  —  wait,  I  have  a 
parasol  here,  perhaps  thou  wilt  kiss  the  para- 
sol ;  if  that  does  not  suit  thee,  then  perhaps 
my  last  year's  cloak.  The  sleeve  lining  is  torn, 
but  otherwise  it  is  a  good  cloak.     May  I  be ! 


150  In  Vain 

—  Give  me  the  pipe  —  I  know  what  this 
means,  old  man ;  that  fool  of  a  Visberg  does 
not  know,  but  I  know." 

Yosef  covered  his  face  with  his  hands. 

Augustinovich  looked  at  him  in  silence, 
shuffled  his  feet  under  the  table,  coughed, 
muttered  something  through  his  teeth;  finally 
he  said  in  a  voice  of  emotion, — 

"  Old  man !  " 

Yosef  made  no  answer. 

Augustinovich  shook  him  by  the  shoulder 
with  sympathy. 

"  Well,  old  man,  do  not  grieve,  be  not 
troubled — thou  art  concerned  about  Helena." 

Yosef  trembled. 

"  About  Helena.  Thou  art  honest,  old  man. 
What  is  to  be  done  with  her  now?  —  I  know! 
If  thou  wish,  old  man,  I  will  marry  her.  By 
Jove,  I  will  marry  her ! " 

Yosef  stood  up.  Beautiful  resolution  shone 
on  his  broad  forehead,  and  though  on  his 
frowning  brows  thou  couldst  read  pain  and 
struggle,  thou  couldst  see  that  the  victory 
would  fall  where  Yosef  wished  it.  He  pressed 
Augustinovich's  hand. 

11 1  am  going  out." 

w  Where  art  thou  going?  " 

"  To  Helena." 


In  Vain  151 

Augustinovich  stared  at  him. 

"ToHe-le-na?" 

"  Yes,"  answered  Yosef.  "  Enough  of  de- 
ceit and  hesitation !  To  Helena  with  a  request 
for  her  hand." 

Augustinovich  looked  at  him  as  he  went  out, 
and  shaking  his  head,  muttered  through  his 
teeth,  — 

"  See,  stupid  Adasia,1  how  people  act." 

Then  he  filled  his  pipe,  turned  on  the  bed, 
and  snored  with  redoubled  energy. 

1  Adasia  is  Adam,  Augustinovich's  own  name. 


152  In  Vain 


CHAPTER  Xni 

Helena  was  not  at  home.  Yosef  waited  sev- 
eral hours  for  her,  walking  unquietly  up  and 
down  in  her  chamber.  He  resolved  at  what- 
ever cost  to  come  out  of  the  false  position  in 
which  he  had  been  put  by  his  guardianship 
over  the  widow  and  over  the  countess,  but  he 
acknowledged  to  himself  that  this  resolution 
brought  him  pain.  That  pain  was  great,  almost 
physical.  Yosef  had  come  to  ask  Helena's 
hand,  but  it  seemed  to  him  at  that  moment 
that  he  could  not  endure  her.  He  was  rush- 
ing toward  the  other  with  heart  and  mind ;  thou 
wouldst  have  said  that  he  felt  a  prayer  in  his 
own  breast,  that  he  begged  of  his  own  will  for 
a  moment  more  of  that  other.  He  loved  Lula 
as  only  energetic  natures  can  love  who  are  ap- 
parently cold. 

He  prepared  himself  for  the  meeting  with 
Helena,  and  he  foresaw  that  it  would  cost  him 
no  little.  There  is  nothing  more  repulsive 
than  to  tell  a  woman  who  is  not  loved  that  she 
is  loved.  That  is  one  of  the  least  possible 
hypocrisies  for  a  real  manly  nature.     Yosef  on 


In  Vain  153 

a  time  had  loved  Helena,  but  he  had  ceased  to 
love  her,  even  before  he  had  observed  how 
and  how  much  he  had  become  attached  to 
Lula.  When  he  saw  this  he  had  a  moment  of 
weakness  ;  he  felt  this  new  love,  and  he  feared 
to  think  of  it  and  confess  it.  When  his  heart 
spoke  too  loudly,  he  said  to  it :  "  Be  silent !  " 
And  he  closed  his  ears,  fearing  his  own  pos- 
sible actions  and  especially  decisions  for  the 
future.  This  was  not  in  accordance  with  him, 
and  could  not  last  long. 

Augustinovich  with  his  peculiar  cynicism 
cast  this  love  in  his  eyes,  and  forced  him  to 
meet  it  face  to  face.  Further  evasion  was 
now  impossible.  Yosef  stood  up  to  the  battle, 
and  went  from  it  to  Helena. 

But  he  did  not  go  without  traces  of  a  strug- 
gle. He  had  a  fever  in  his  blood,  and  he  could 
not  think  calmly.  Various  pictures  of  small 
but  dear  memories  came  to  his  mind,  where- 
with at  that  moment  he  believed  more  than 
ever  that  Lula  loved  him. 

"  Have  I  the  right  to  destroy  her  happiness 
too?"  This  imbecile  thought  roared  in  him 
like  the  last  arrow  of  conquered  warriors.  He 
broke  it,  however,  with  the  reflection  that  be- 
tween him  and  Helena  there  was  an  obligation, 
between  him  and  Lula  nothing. 


154  f*  Vain 

Other  difficulties  belonged  to  the  result  of 
Yosefs  decision.  The  decision  was  honest, 
but  still  to  turn  it  into  reality  he  had  to  lie, 
and  then  to  lie  all  his  life  by  pretending  love. 
Evil  appeared  as  a  result  of  good.  "  Ei,  shall 
I  not  have  to  go  mad?"  thought  he.  "And 
this  life  will  be  snarled  like  a  thread.  Every  one 
is  whirling  round  after  happiness,  as  a  dog  after 
his  own  tail,  and  every  man  is  chasing  it  with 
equal  success.,,  Ho  !  Yosef,  who  did  not  love 
declamation,  had  still  fallen  into  the  dialectics 
of  unhappiness.  Such  a  philosophy  has  a 
charm :  a  man  loves  his  misfortune  as  a  hap- 
piness. 

Meanwhile  evening  came,  but  Helena  was 
not  to  be  seen.  Yosef  supposed  that  she  must 
have  gone  to  the  cemetery,  and  he  did  not 
himself  know  why  that  thought  made  him  an- 
gry on  that  occasion. 

He  lighted  a  candle  and  began  to  walk 
through  the  room.  By  chance  his  glance  fell 
on  Potkanski.  Yosef  had  not  known  him,  and 
did  not  like  him,  though  for  the  justification  of 
his  antipathy  he  could  hardly  bring  in  the 
words  "  lord's  son." 

When  he  looked  again  at  that  broad,  calm 
face,  something  glittered  in  his  eyes  which  was 
almost  like  hatred. 


In  Vain  155 

"And  for  her  I  am  only  the  counterfeit  of 
that  man  there,"  thought  he. 

These  words  were  not  true,  Yosef  differed 
altogether  in  character  from  Potkanski,  and 
Helena  loved  him  now  for  himself;  neverthe- 
less the  thought  pricked  him,  he  would  have 
given  much  if  Helena  had  not  on  a  time  been 
the  wife  of  that  man  there,  and  had  not  had  a 
child  by  him.  "And  I  shall  have  a  child," 
said  he,  "  a  son  whom  I  shall  rear  into  a  man, 
strong  and  practical." 

"  Ah,  if  that  future  child  were  mine  and 
Lula's ! " 

He  shook  feverishly  and  pressed  his  lips ;  a 
few  drops  of  perspiration  glittered  on  his  fore- 
head. In  the  last  thought  there  was  a  whole 
ocean  of  desire. 

He  sat  in  that  way  for  half  an  hour  yet  be- 
fore Helena  came.  She  was  dressed  in  black, 
with  which  color  her  pale  complexion  and 
blond  hair  came  out  excellently.  When  she 
saw  Yosef  she  smiled  timidly ;  but  great  pleas- 
ure was  in  that  smile,  for  he  had  been  a  rare 
guest  in  recent  times. 

Happily  for  her,  she  had  enough  of  tact  or 
of  feminine  foresight  not  to  reproach  him;  she 
did  not  dare,  either,  to  rejoice  aloud  at  his  com- 
ing, since  she  knew  not  what  he  was  bringing. 


156  In  Vain 

But  the  palm  which  she  gave  him  embraced 
his  hand  firmly  and  broadly.  That  palm  quiv- 
ered with  the  heartfelt  language  of  movements 
interpreting  fear  and  feeling  when  lips  are 
silent. 

With  a  melancholy  smile  and  hand  so  ex- 
tended she  was  enchanting  with  the  inexpres- 
sible charm  of  an  enamoured  woman.  If  she 
had  had  a  star  in  her  hair,  she  might  have 
passed  simply  for  an  angel, — perhaps  she  had 
even  the  aureole  around  her  head  which  love 
gives,  —  but  for  Yosef  she  was  not  an  angel, 
nor  had  she  an  aureole;  but  he  touched  her 
hand  with  his  lips. 

"Be  seated,  Helena,  near  me,  and  listen," 
said  he.  "  I  have  not  been  here  for  a  long 
time,  and  I  wish  that  the  former  freedom  and 
confidence  should  return  to  us." 

She  threw  aside  her  cape  and  hat,  arranged 
her  hair  with  her  hand,  and  sat  down  in  silence. 
Great  alarm  was  evident  on  her  face. 

"  I  hear  thee,  Yosef." 

"  It  is  four  years  since  the  death  of  Gustav, 
who  confided  thee  to  me.  I  have  kept  the 
promise  given  him  as  well  as  I  was  able,  and 
as  I  knew  how,  but  the  relation  between  us 
has  not  been  such  as  it  should  be.  This  must 
change,  Helena." 


In  Vain  157 

He  needed  to  draw  breath,  he  had  to  pro- 
nounce sentence  on  himself. 

In  the  silence  which  lasted  awhile,  the  beat- 
ing of  Helena's  heart  could  be  heard.  Her 
face  was  pale,  her  eyes  blinked  quickly,  as  is 
usual  with  women  who  are  frightened. 

"Must  they  change?"  whispered  she,  in  a 
scarcely  audible  voice. 

"  Be  my  wife." 

"Yosef!" 

She  placed  her  hands  together,  as  if  for 
prayer,  and  looked  at  him  a  moment  with 
eyes  wandering  because  of  pressing  thoughts 
and  feelings. 

"Be  my  wife.  The  time  of  which  I  spoke 
to  thee  before  has  come." 

She  threw  her  arms  around  his  neck,  and 
put  her  head  on  his  breast. 

"  Thou  art  not  trifling  with  me,  Yosef  ?  No, 
no !  Then  I  shall  be  happy  yet?  Oh,  I  love 
thee  so !  " 

Helena's  bosom  rose  and  fell,  her  face  was 
radiant,  and  her  lips  approached  his. 

"  Oh,  I  have  been  very  sad,  very  lonely,"  con- 
tinued she,  "  but  I  believed  in  thee.  The  heart 
trusts  when  it  loves.  Thou  art  mine  !  I  only 
live  through  thee  —  what  is  life  ?  If  one  laughs 
and  is  joyful,  if  one  is  sad  and  weeps,  if  one 


158  In  Vain 

thinks  and  loves  —  that  is  life.  But  I  rejoice 
and  I  weep  only  through  thee,  I  think  of  thee, 
I  love  thee.  If  people  wished  to  divide  us  I 
should  tear  out  my  hair  and  bind  thy  feet  with 
it.  I  am  like  a  flame  which  thou  mayst  blow.  I 
am  thine  —  let  me  weep  !    Dost  thou  love  me  ?  " 

"  I  love." 

"  I  have  wept  for  so  many  years,  but  not 
such  tears  as  I  shed  to-day.  It  is  so  bright  in 
my  soul !  Let  me  close  my  eyes  and  look  at 
that  brightness.  How  much  happiness  in  one 
word  !  Oh,  Yosef,  my  Yosef,  I  know  not  even 
how  to  think  of  this." 

It  was  grievous  for  him  to  hear  words  like 
those  from  Helena ;  he  felt  the  immense  false- 
hood and  discord  in  which  his  life  had  to  flow 
with  that  woman  thenceforward,  that  woman  so 
beautiful,  so  greatly  loving,  and  loved  so  little. 

He  rose  and  took  farewell  of  her. 

Helena,  left  alone,  placed  her  burning  fore- 
head against  a  pane  of  the  window,  and  long 
did  she  stand  thus  in  silence.  At  last  she 
opened  the  window,  and,  placing  her  head  on 
her  palm,  looked  into  the  broad,  sparkling 
summer  night.  Silent  tears  flowed  down  her 
face,  her  golden  tresses  fell  upon  her  bosom, 
the  moonlight  was  moving  upon  her  forehead 
and  putting  a  silvery  whiteness  on  her  dress. 


In  Vain    '  159 


CHAPTER  XIV 

A  FEW  days  later  Augustinovich  was  sitting  in 
Yosef  s  lodgings ;  he  was  working  vigorously  in 
view  of  the  approaching  examination.  Loving 
effect  in  all  things,  he  had  shaded  the  windows, 
and  in  the  middle  of  the  room  had  placed  a 
table,  before  which  he  was  standing  at  that 
moment.  Evidently  he  was  occupied  with 
some  experiment,  for  on  the  table  was  a 
multitude  of  old  glass  vessels  and  pots  full 
of  powders  and  fluids,  and  in  the  centre  was 
burning  a  spirit  lamp,  which  surrounded  with 
a  blue  flame  the  stupid  head  of  a  retort  which 
was  quivering  under  the  influence  of  boiling 
liquid  contained  in  it. 

Work  burned,  as  they  said,  in  the  hands  of 
Augustinovich ;  no  one  could  labor  so  quickly 
as  he.  With  a  glad  smile  on  his  face  he  movea 
really  with  enthusiasm,  frequently  entertaining 
himself  with  a  song  or  a  dialogue  with  the  first 
vessel  he  took  up,  or  with  a  pious  remark  on 
the  fleeting  nature  of  this  world. 


160  In  Vain 

Sometimes  he  left  his  work  for  a  moment, 
and  raising  his  eyes  and  his  hands  declaimed 
in  tones  which  were  very  tragic,  — 

"  Ah,  Eurydice  !  before  thy  beauty 
I  passed  the  rounds  of  success, 
And  the  sentence  of  Delphi  was  undoubted, 
That  on  earth  I  am  the  only  one  blest." 

Then  again  in  a  hundred  trills  and  cadences  he 
sang,  — 

"  O  piano !  piano  1  —  Zitto  !  pia-ha-ha-no !  " 

Or  similar  creations  of  his  own  mind  on  a 
sudden,  — 

"  And  if  thou  fill  a  pipe,  O  Youth, 
And  pressing  the  bowl  with  thy  finger,  put  fire  on  it." 

"  By  Mohammed !  If  Yosef  should  come, 
this  work  would  go  on  more  quickly ;  but  he  is 
marrying  Helena  at  present  —  Ei !  and  as  in- 
nocence is  dear  to  me,  I  would  fix  it  this  way ! 
Dear  Helena,  permit — And  what  farther  ?  Oh, 
the  farther  the  better—  " 

All  at  once  some  one  pulled  the  bell. 

Augustinovich  turned  toward  the  door  and 
extending  his  hand  intoned,  — 
"  Road-weary  traveller, 
Cross  thou  my  threshold." 

The  door  opened;  a  man  young  and  ele- 
gantly dressed  entered  the  room. 


In  Vain  161 

Augustinovich  did  not  know  him. 

The  most  important  notable  trait  of  the 
newly  arrived  was  a  velvet  sack-coat  and  light- 
colored  trousers;  besides,  he  was  washed, 
shaven,  and  combed.  His  face  was  neither 
stupid  nor  clever,  neither  beautiful  nor  ugly, 
neither  kind  nor  malicious,  moreover  he  was 
neither  tall  nor  of  low  stature.  His  nose, 
mouth,  chin,  and  forehead  were  medium; 
special  marks  he  had  none. 

"  Does  Pan  Yosef  Shvarts  live  here?  " 

"  It  is  certain  that  he  lives  here." 

"  Is  it  possible  to  see  him?  " 

"  It  is  possible  at  this  time ;  but  in  the  night, 
when  it  is  very  dark,  the  case  is  different." 

The  newly  arrived  began  to  lose  patience; 
but  Augustinovich's  face  expressed  rather 
gladness  than  malice. 

"  The  owner  of  this  house  sent  me  to  Pan 
Yosef  as  to  a  man  who  knows  the  address  and 

the  fate  of  Countess  Leocadia  N .     Could 

you  give  me  some  explanations  as  to  her?" 

"  Oh  yes,  she  is  very  nice  !  " 

"  That  is  not  the  question." 

"  Just  that,  indeed.  Were  I  to  answer  that 
she  is  as  ugly  as  night,  would  you  be  curious 
to  make  her  acquaintance?  No,  no,  by  the 
prophet!  " 

ii 


162  In  Vain 

"  My  name  is  Pelski ;  I  am  her  cousin." 

"  Oh,  I  am  not  her  cousin  at  all !  " 

The  newly  arrived  frowned. 

"  Either  you  do  not  understand  me,  or  you 
are  trifling." 

"Not  at  all,  though  Pani  Visberg  always 
insists  that  I  am —  But  you  are  not  ac- 
quainted with  Pani  Visberg.  She  is  an  excel- 
lent woman.  She  is  distinguished  by  this, 
that  she  has  a  daughter,  though  it  is  nothing 
great  to  have  a  daughter ;  but  she  is  as  rich 
as  Jupiter !  " 

"  Sir !  " 

"Now  I  hear  steps  on  the  stairs, —  Pan 
Yosef  is  coming  surely.  I  will  lay  a  wager 
with  you  that  he  is  coming — " 

Indeed,  the  door  opened  and  Yosef  walked 
in.  One  would  have  said  that  his  severe  and 
intelligent  face  had  matured  in  the  last  few 
hours ;  in  its  expression  was  the  calm  energy 
of  a  man  who  had  already  decided  on  the 
means  of  advance  in  the  future. 

"This  is  Pan  Pelski,  Yosef,"  said  Augusti- 
novich. 

Yosef  looked  at  the  newly  arrived  inquir- 
ingly. 

Meanwhile  Pelski  explained  to  him  the  ob- 
ject of  his  coming;  and  though  at  news  of  the 


In  Vain  163 

relationship  of  the  young  man  to  Lula  his 
forehead  wrinkled  slightly,  he  gave  him  her 
address  without  hesitation. 

"  I  take  farewell  of  you,"  said  Yosef,  at  last ; 
14  the  countess  will  be  greatly  delighted  to  find 
in  you  a  cousin,  but  it  is  a  pity  that  she  could 
not  have  found  a  relative  two  months  ago." 

Pelski  muttered  something  unintelligible. 
Evidently  Yosef's  figure  and  style  of  inter- 
course imposed  on  him  no  little. 

"Why  give  him  Lula's  address?"  asked 
Augustinovich. 

11  Because  I  should  have  acted  ridiculously 
had  I  refused." 

"  But  I  did  not  give  it." 

"What  didst  thou  tell  him?" 

"  A  thousand  things  except  the  address.  I 
did  not  know  whether  thou  wouldst  be  satisfied 
if  I  gave  it." 

"  He  would  have  found  the  address  any- 
how." 

"Oh,  it  will  be  pleasant  at  Pani  Visberg's. 
Wilt  thou  go  there  to-day?" 

"  No." 

"And  to-morrow?" 

"  No." 

"But  when?" 

"  Never." 


164  In  Vain 

"  It  is  no  trick,  old  man,  to  flee  before 
danger." 

"  I  am  no  knight  errant,  I  am  not  Don 
Quixote,  I  choose  rather  to  avoid  dangers  and 
conquer  than  choose  them  and  fall.  Not 
Middle-Age  boasting  commands  me,  but 
reason." 

A  moment  of  silence  followed. 

"Wert  thou  at  Helena's  yesterday?"  asked 
Augustinovich. 

"  I  was." 

"  When  will  the  marriage  be?  " 

"  Right  away  after  I  receive  my  degree." 

"  Maybe  it  is  better  for  thee  that  the  affair 
ends  thus." 

"  Why  dost  thou  say  that?  " 

"  I  do  not  know  but  thou  wilt  be  angry;  but 
Lula  —  now,  I  do  not  believe  her —  " 

Yosefs  eyes  gleamed  with  a  wonderful 
light;  he  put  his  hand  on  Augustinovich's 
shoulder. 

"Say  nothing  bad  of  her,"  said  he,  with 
emphasis. 

He  wished,  indeed,  that  the  countess,  torn 
from  him  by  the  force  of  circumstances,  should 
remain  in  his  mind  unblemished.  He  took 
pleasure  in  thinking  of  her. 

"  What  am  I  to  tell  her  when  she  asks  about 


In  Vain  165 

thee?"  inquired  Augustinovich,  after  a  short 
silence. 

11  Tell  her  the  truth,  tell  her  that  I  am  going 
to  marry  another." 

"  Ei,  old  man,  I  will  tell  her  something  else." 

"Why?"  asked  Yosef,  looking  him  in  the 
eyes. 

"  Oh,  so  !  " 

"  Speak  clearly." 

"  She  seems  to  love  thee." 

Yosef 's  face  flushed ;  he  knew  Lula's  feel- 
ing, but  that  information  from  the  lips  of 
another  startled  him.  It  filled  his  breast  with 
sweetness  and  as  it  were  with  despair  together 
with  the  sweetness. 

"Who  told  thee  that?  "  asked  he. 

"  Malinka ;  she  tells  me  everything." 

"  Then  tell  Lula  that  I  marry  another  from 
inclination  and  duty." 

"  Amen  !  "  concluded  Augustinovich. 

In  the  evening  he  went  to  Pani  Visber^'s; 
Malinka  opened  the  door  to  him. 

"  Oh,  is  this  you?  "  said  she,  with  a  blush. 

Augustinovich  seized  her  hands  and  kissed 
them  repeatedly. 

"  Oh,  Pan  Adam !  that  is  not  permitted,  not 
permitted,"  insisted  the  blushing  girl. 


1 66  In  Vain 

"  It  is,  it  is  !  "  answered  he,  in  a  tone  of  deep 
conviction.  "  But  —  but,"  continued  he,  remov- 
ing his  overcoat  and  buttoning  his  gloves  (he 
was  dressed  with  uncommon  elegance),  "  was 
some  young  man  here  this  afternoon?" 

"  He  was ;  he  will  come  in  the  evening." 

"  So  much  the  better." 

Augustinovich  went  into  the  drawing-room 
with  Malinka.  The  drawing-room  had  some- 
how a  look  of  importance,  as  if  for  the  recep- 
tion of  a  notable  guest.  On  the  table  a  double 
lamp  was  burning,  the  piano  was  open. 

"  Why  did  Pan  Yosef  not  come  with 
you?" 

"  The  same  question  from  the  countess  will 
meet  me.  In  every  case  permit  me  to  defer 
my  answer  till  she  asks." 

The  countess  did  not  keep  them  waiting 
long.  She  entered,  dressed  in  black,  with 
simply  a  few  pearls  in  her  hair. 

"  But  Pan  Yosef?  "  asked  she  at  once. 

"  He  is  not  coming." 

"Why?" 

"  He  is  occupied.     Building  his  future." 

The  countess  was  wounded  by  the  thought 
that  Yosef  would  not  come. 

"But  do  you  not  help  him  in  that  labor?" 
asked  she. 


In  Vain  167 

"  May  my  guardian  angel  keep  me  from  such 
work." 

"  It  must  be  very  difficult." 

"  Like  every  new  building." 

"  Why  does  he  work  so? " 

"  Duty." 

"  I  believe  that  Pan  Yosef  builds  everything 
on  that  foundation." 

"  This  time  it  will  be  more  difficult  for  him 
than  ever  before.  But  somebody  is  coming 
—  that  is  your  cousin.  What  a  splendid 
man !  " 

Pan  Pelski  entered  the  drawing-room ;  soon 
after  came  Pani  Visberg  also. 

After  the  greetings  conversation  began  to 
circle  about  in  the  ocean  of  commonplace. 

Augustinovich  took  little  part  in  it.  He  sat 
in  an  armchair,  partly  closed  his  eyes  with  an 
expression  of  indifference  toward  everything. 
He  had  the  habit  of  closing  his  eyes  while 
making  observations,  when  nothing  escaped 
his  notice. 

Count  Pelski  (we  had  forgotten  to  state  that 
he  had  that  title)  sat  near  Lula,  twirling  in  his 
fingers  the  string  of  his  eyeglasses,  and  con- 
versing with  her  vivaciously. 

"  Till  I  came  to  Kieff,"  said  he,  "  I  knew 
nothing  of  the  misfortune  which  had  met  our 


1 68  In  Vain 

whole  family,  but  especially  you,  through  the 
death  of  your  esteemed  father." 

"Did  you  know  my  father?"  asked  Lula, 
with  a  sigh. 

"  No,  cousin.  I  knew  only  that  unfortunate 
quarrels  and  lawsuits  separated  our  families 
for  a  number  of  years.  I  knew  nothing  of 
those  quarrels,  since  I  was  young  and  always 
absent,  and  if  I  am  to  make  a  confession  my 
present  visit  was  undertaken  only  as  an  attempt 
at  reconciliation." 

"What  was  the  degree  of  relationship  be- 
tween you  and  my  father?  " 

"  Reared  abroad,  I  know  little  of  our  family 
relations  in  general;  for  example,  I  am  in- 
debted to  a  lucky  chance  for  discovering  not 
our  relationship,  of  which  I  was  aware,  but 
other  intimate  bonds  connecting  our  families 
from  of  old." 

"  Is  it  permitted  to  inquire  about  this  cir- 
cumstance?" 

"  With  pleasure,  cousin.  Having  taken  on 
me,  after  the  death  of  my  father,  the  manage- 
ment of  my  property  and  family  affairs,  I 
looked  into  the  papers  and  various  documents 
touching  my  family.  Well,  in  these  docu- 
ments I  discovered  that  your  family  is  not 
only  related  to  the  Pelskis,  but  has  the  same 
escutcheon." 


In  Vain  169 

u  To  a  certain  extent,  then,  we  are  to  thank 
chance  for  our  acquaintance." 

"  I  bless  this  chance,  cousin." 

Lula  dropped  her  eyes,  her  small  hand 
twisted  the  end  of  her  scarf;  after  a  while  she 
raised  her  head. 

"  And  for  me  it  is  equally  pleasant,"  said 
she. 

The  shadow  of  a  smile  flew  over  Augustino- 
vich's  face. 

"  I  had  much  difficulty  in  rinding  your 
lodgings.  This  gentleman"  (Pelski  indicated 
Augustinovich  with  one  eye)  "  has  a  marvellous 
method  of  giving  answers.  Fortunately  his 
room-mate  came;  he  gave  me  an  answer  at 
last." 

"  I  lived  in  the  same  house  as  they,"  added 
the  countess. 

"  How  did  you  become  acquainted  with 
them,  cousin?" 

"  When  father  fell  ill,  Pan  Shvarts  watched 
him  in  his  last  hours ;  afterward  he  found  Pani 
Visberg,  and  I  am  much  indebted  to  him." 

Augustinovich's  closed  eyelids  opened  a 
little,  and  the  sneering  expression  vanished 
from  his  face. 

"  Is  he  a  doctor?  "  asked  Pelski. 

"  He  will  be  a  doctor  soon." 


170  In  Vain 

Pelski  meditated  a  moment. 

"  I  was  acquainted  in  Heidelberg  with  a 
professor  and  writer  of  the  same  name.  From 
what  family  is  this  man?" 

"  Oh,  I  do  not  know,  indeed,"  answered  the 
countess,  blushing  deeply. 

Augustinovich's  eyes  opened  to  their  full 
width,  and  with  an  indescribable  expression  of 
malice  he  turned  toward  the  countess. 

"  I  thought,"  said  he,  "  that  you  knew  per- 
fectly whence  Pan  Yosef  came,  and  what  his 
family  is." 

Lula's  confusion  reached  the  highest  de- 
gree. 

"I  —  do  not  remember,"  groaned  she. 

"Do  you   not?     Then  I  will   remind   you. 
Pan  Yosef  was  born  in   Zvinogrodets,  where 
his  father  in  his  day  was  a  blacksmith." 
•   Pelski  looked  at  his  cousin,    and   bending 
toward  her  said  with  sympathy,  — 

"  I  am  pained,  cousin,  at  the  fatality  which 
forced  you  to  live  with  people  of  a  different 
sphere." 

Lula  sighed. 

Oh,  evil,  evil  was  that  sigh.  Lula  knew 
that  among  those  people  of  a  different  sphere 
she  had  found  aid,  protection,  and  kindness; 
that  for  this  reason  they  should   be  for  her 


In  Vain  171 

something  more  than  that  cousin  of  recent 
acquaintance.  But  she  was  ashamed  to  tell 
him  this,  and  she  remained  silent,  a  little  angry 
and  a  little  grieved. 

Meanwhile  Pani  Visberg  invited  her  guests 
to  tea.  Lula  ran  for  a  while  to  her  own  cham- 
ber, and  sitting  on  her  bed  covered  her  face 
with  her  hands.  At  that  moment  she  was  in 
Yosefs  chamber  mentally.  "  He  is  toiling 
there,"  thought  she,  "  and  here  they  speak  of 
him  as  of  some  one  strange  to  me.  Why  did 
that  other  say  that  he  was  the  son  of  a 
blacksmith?" 

It  seemed  to  her  as  if  they  were  wronging 
Yosef,  but  she  felt  offended  at  him,  too,  be- 
cause he  was  the  son  of  a  blacksmith. 

At  tea  she  sat  near  her  cousin,  a  little 
thoughtful,  a  little  sad,  turning  unquiet  glances 
toward  Augustinovich,  who  from  the  moment 
of  his  malicious  interference  filled  her  with  a 
certain  fear. 

"Indeed  thou  art  not  thyself,  Lula,"  said 
Pani  Visberg,  placing  her  hand  on  the  girl's 
heated  forehead. 

Malinka,  who  was  standing  with  the  teapot 
in  her  hand,  pouring  tea  in  the  light,  stopped 
the  yellowish  stream,  and  turning  her  head 
said  with  a  smile,  — 


172  In  Vain 

"  Lula  is  only  serious.  I  find  thee,  Lula,  in 
black  colors  —  art  thou  in  love?  " 

The  countess  understood  Malinka's  idea, 
but  she  was  not  confused. 

"  Black  is  the  color  of  mourning ;  in  every 
case  it  is  my  color." 

"  And  beautiful  as  thy  word,  cousin,"  added 
Pelski. 

After  tea  she  seated  herself  at  the  piano,  and 
from  behind  the  music-rack  could  be  seen  her 
shapely  forehead  marked  with  regular  brows. 
She  played  a  certain  melancholy  mazurka  of 
Chopin,  but  trouble  and  disquiet  did  not  leave 
her  face. 

Augustinovich  knew  music,  and  from  her 
playing  he  divined  the  condition  of  her  mind. 
Still  he  thought,  — 

"She  is  sad,  therefore  she  plays;  but  she 
plays  because  her  cousin  is  listening." 

But  on  the  way  home  he  thought  more 
about  Lula  and  Yosef  than  one  might  have 
expected  from  his  frivolous  nature. 

"  Oh,  Satan  take  it,  what  will  happen,  what 
will  happen  ?  "  muttered  he. 

In  the  midst  of  these  thoughts  he  entered 
his  lodgings.  Yosef  was  not  sleeping  yet;  he 
was  sitting  leaning  on  his  elbows  over  some 
book. 


In  Vain  173 

"  Hast  thou  been  at  Pani  Visberg's?  " 

"  I  have." 

Impatience  and  curiosity  were  quivering  in 
Yosef s  face ;  evidently  he  wished  to  ask  about 
the  evening,  but  on  thinking  the  matter  over 
he  rested  his  head  on  his  hands  again,  and 
began  to  read. 

Suddenly  he  threw  the  book  aside  and 
walked  a  couple  of  times  through  the  room. 

"  Thou  wert  at  Pani  Visberg's?  " 

"I  was." 

"  Ha ! " 

"Well,  what?" 

"  Nothing." 

He  sat  down  to  his  book  again. 


174  /*  Vain 


CHAPTER   XV 

A  COUPLE  of  weeks  passed.  The  relations 
of  the  personages  known  to  us  had  not  under- 
gone change. 

Yosef  did  not  visit  Pani  Visberg's,  but,  to 
make  up,  Pelski  was  a  daily  guest  there  in  spite 
of  Augustinovich,  who  tormented  him,  and 
whom  the  count  could  not  endure. 

"  How  does  the  countess's  cousin  seem  to 
thee?  M  asked  Yosef  of  him  one  day. 
"  Oh,  my  friend,  he  is  a  zero." 
"With  what  dost  thou  reproach  him?" 
"Nothing;  what  does  stupidity  mean  really? 
He  talks  with  the  ladies  as  far  as  he  is  able ;  he 
wears  a  fashionable   coat,   glossy   gloves;  he 
knots  his  cravat  symmetrically,  praises  virtue, 
condemns  vice,    says  it  is  better  to  be  wise 
than  not ;  still,  O  Yosef,  he  is  a  zero." 
"Thou  judgest  people  in  masses." 
"  Again !  in  masses.     As  is  known  to  thee, 
I  judge  the  breast  according  to  the  measure 
of  the  tailor,  not  that  of  Phidias ;  and  as  I  ad- 
vance laughter  seizes  me,  but  my  heart  does 


In  Vain  175 

not  burst,  it  must  have  cause  sufficient  to 
burst." 

"  Speak  more  clearly." 

"  What  shall  I  say  to  thee  ?  Well,  he  is  a 
middling  man,  a  man  of  the  mean,  but  not 
the  golden  one;  honest,  for  he  has  not  done 
anything  dishonest  or  perverse.  But  let  him 
go  !  Better  speak  of  philosophy  or  sing  an 
old  contradance;  which  dost  thou  prefer?" 

"  Let  us  speak  of  him,  I  beg  of  thee,"  said 
Yosef,  with  decision. 

"  Well,  fill  me  a  pipe  then." 

Yosef  filled  a  pipe  for  him,  lighted  a  cigar  for 
himself,  and  began  to  walk  through  the  room. 

"  I  will  not  give  thee  an  account  of  the  even- 
ings there,  for  I  do  not  wish  to  annoy  thee," 
said  Augustinovich,  "  but  if  thou  desire  this 
thing,  then  listen. 

"  The  affair  is  as  follows :  Pelski  learned  that 
the  old  count  left  a  daughter,  and  curiosity 
led  him  to  look  at  her.  Seest  thou,  people 
are  vain  ;  they  love  effect,  and  the  role  of  a 
rich  cousin  in  presence  of  a  poor  one  is 
not  devoid  of  effect,  so  this  role  has  pleased 
Pelski.  Whom  would  it  not  please  ?  Thou  art 
wealthy,  and  givest  thy  hand  to  her  (that  is, 
to  thy  cousin),  thou  shieldest  her  with  thy 
most  mighty  protection,  astonishest  her  with 


176  In  Vain 

thy  delicacy  of  feeling,  with  thy  acts;  thou 
becomest  her  king's  son  —  her  ideal.  Ei,  old 
man,  how  this  tickles  vanity !  What  romances 
these  are,  Satan  take  me ! 

•O  gray  rye,  he  is  digging  the  earth  !  * 

It  is  a  whole  novel.  A  steed,  a  noble  figure, 
on  her  part  smiles  and  tears  —  they  are 
separated  by  fate;  later  they  meet,  they 
agree,  they  are  reconciled,  and  Numa  marries 
Pompilius !  " 

These  last  words  Augustinovich  pronounced 
with  a  certain  maliciousness. 

"Art  thou  speaking  of  Lula  and  Pelski?" 
asked  Yosef,  gloomily. 

"Yes;  Pelski  looked  at  her  through  curi- 
osity, and  she,  as  thou  knowest,  is  a  fair 
maiden,  and  that  r6le  pleased  him.  Pelski  is 
an  ordinary  man,  an  aristocrat, —  in  one  word, 
zero,  —  but  if  she  pays  no  attention  to  the 
statue  —  " 

"  Yes,  if? "  interrupted  Yosef,  catching  at 
the  last  word. 

"  But  thou  —  why  deceive  thyself?  It  must 
be  all  one  to  thee.  Thou  art  not  a  child  nor 
a  woman ;  thou  hadst  full  knowledge  of  what 
thou  wert  doing  when  going  to  Helena  with 
a  declaration." 


In  Vain  177 

Yosef  was  silent;  Augustinovich  continued: 
"  I  say :  Pelski  is  a  young  man  and  wealthy, 
she  pleases  him  very  much,  and  she  may  not 
look  at  the  statue ;  she  pleases  him,  —  that  is 
the  main  thing." 

"  Let  us  suppose  that  she  will  not  consider 
the  statue,  what  further?" 

"  In  that  case  Lula  will  become  Countess 
Pelski." 

"  Will  she  consent?     What  sayst  thou?  " 

Yosefs  eyes  flashed. 

"  Listen,  old  man,  I  say  this :  I  know  not 
the  good  of  this  conversation.  Perhaps  she 
might  not  consent  to-day,  but  in  half  a  year 
or  a  year  she  will  consent.  If  thou  wert  there 
thou  mightest  contend  with  him  ;  otherwise,  I 
repeat,  she  will  consent." 

"  On  what  dost  thou  rest  that  judgment?  " 

"  On  what?  A  certain  evening  when  I  saw 
Pelski  I  was  listening,  and  he  asked,  *  Of  what 
family  is  Shvarts?'  and  she  answered,  'I  know 
not,  really.'  Thou  seest!  But  when  I  said 
that  thou  art  the  son  of  a  blacksmith,  she  was 
in  flames,  and  almost  burst  into  weeping  from 
anger  at  me.     There  it  is  for  thee  !  " 

Yosef  also  felt  at  that  moment  as  it  were 
a  wish  to  weep  from  anger. 

"  Seest  thou,"  continued  Augustinovich, 
12 


178  In  Vain 

"  Pelski  unconsciously  and  unwittingly  acts 
with  great  success;  he  brings  her  mind  to 
ancient  titles  and  brilliant  relations ;  he  cannot 
even  do  otherwise.  And  she  is  an  aristocrat 
in  every  case.  Thou  rememberest  how  on 
a  time  that  angered  me  and  thee,  and  how 
much  thou  didst  labor  to  shatter  those  princi- 
ples in  her.  By  the  crocodile  !  there  is  noth- 
ing haughtier  than  proud  poverty.  Pelski  acts 
wisely,  he  flatters  her  vanity,  he  rouses  her 
self-love  ;  that  removes  her  from  us.  But  we, 
my  old  man,  are  such  counts  as,  without  com- 
paring—  Oh,  Satan  take  it!  I  cannot  find 
here  comparisons." 

In  fact,  he  did  not  find  comparisons,  and  for 
want  of  them  he  fell  to  puffing  out  strong 
rings  of  smoke,  and  trying  diligently  to  catch 
some  of  them  on  his  fingers.  Meanwhile 
Yosef  looked  stubbornly  at  one  point  in  the 
ceiling,  and  asked  at  last, — 

"  Didst  tell  her  that  I  was  going  to  marry 
Helena?" 

"  No." 

"Why  not?" 

"  I  said  that  thou  wert  toiling,  and  for  that 
reason  did  not  appear.  Let  the  affair  between 
thee  and  Pelski  be  decided  in  her  mind,  in  her 
conscience   and   heart.     Thy  marriage   is  an 


In  Vain  179 

external  event  which  would  decide  the  matter 
definitely  on  his  side." 

Yosef  approached  Augustinovich  and  fixed 
his  fingers  in  his  arm. 

"  Listen  !  "  said  he,  violently  ;  "  but  if  I 
should  win  in  this  battle  ?  " 

"  Go  to  the  devil !  and  do  not  pinch  me  so 
hard.  I  throw  the  same  question  at  thee :  If 
thou  shouldst  win  in  this  battle?" 

They  looked  at  each  other,  eye  to  eye ;  some 
kind  of  hostile  feeling  pressed  their  hearts. 

At  last  Yosef  dropped  Augustinovich's  arm, 
and  hiding  his  face  in  his  hands  threw  himself 
on  the  becL 

Augustinovich  looked  at  him  threateningly, 
then  less  threateningly,  and  still  less  threaten- 
ingly; finally  he  pushed  down  to  him  and 
stroked  him  with  his  hand.  He  drew  him  by 
the  skirt,  and  his  voice  now  was  soft  and  full 
of  emotion. 

"  Old  man  !  " 

Yosef  did  not  answer. 

"  My  old  man,  be  not  angry.  If  thou  win 
thou  wilt  preserve  her  in  thy  heart  as  a  saint, 
and  I  will  say  to  her :  Go,  bright  angel,  along 
the  path  of  duty,  as  Yosef  went." 


180  In  Vain 


CHAPTER  XVI 

Helena  hardly  believed  her  own  happiness. 
She  was  preparing  for  her  marriage.  Her 
clouded  past  had  vanished,  life's  night  was 
over,  the  morning  was  shining. 

From  a  woman  of  a  wandering  star,  who 
knew  not  where  and  how  low  she  might  fall, 
from  a  woman  who  was  a  beggar,  from  a 
woman  without  a  morrow,  to  enter  into  a  new 
period  of  life,  to  receive  the  affection  of  a  man 
whom  she  loved,  to  become  in  the  future  a 
wife,  to  begin  a  calm  life,  a  life  which  had  a 
to-morrow,  surrounded  by  respect,  filled  with 
love  and  duty,  —  that  was  her  future. 

Helena  understood,  or  rather  had  a  pre- 
science of  the  abnormal  relation  between  her 
past  and  her  future.  "  From  such  a  life  as 
mine  that  ought  not  to  come.  I  am  not  worthy 
of  this  happiness,"  whispered  she  to  Yosef, 
when  he  placed  the  ring  of  betrothal  on  her 
finger.     "  I  am  not  worthy  of  such  happiness." 

That  half-insane  woman  possessed  of  love 
was  right.     Out   of  the   logic  of  life   such  a 


In  Vain  181 

future  could  not  bloom,  but  her  life  had 
ceased  already  to  move  in  its  own  proper 
orbit. 

There  are  stars  which  circle  in  solitude  along 
undefined  orbits,  till  swept  away  by  more 
powerful  planets  they  go  farther,  either  around 
them  or  with  them. 

Something  similar  had  happened  to  Helena. 

A  stronger  will  had  attracted  a  weaker. 
Helena  met  Yosef  on  her  track,  and  thence- 
forward she  travelled  in  his  course. 

The  knowledge  of  this  made  her  more 
peaceful.  "  Oh,  if  he  wishes  I  shall  be 
happy,"  thought  she,  more  than  once. 

She  had  unbounded  belief,  not  only  in 
Yosef  s  character,  but  in  his  strength.  So  the 
last  shadow  vanished  from  her  soul;  alarm 
disappeared,  that  indefinite  fear  of  the  future 
which  she  could  not  dismiss  till  the  moment 
of  Yosefs  declaration,  this  fear  which  tortured 
her  like  a  reproach  of  conscience. 

Her  head  was  full  of  imaginings.  With  a 
song  on  her  lips  she  made  preparations  for 
marriage,  amusing  herself  like  a  child  with 
every  detail  of  dress.  Notwithstanding  her 
widowhood  she  wished  to  wear  a  white  dress, 
which  would  also  please  Yosef.  Regaining 
cheerfulness,  she  regained   her    health    also ; 


1 82  In  Vain 

she  was  busy,  active,  even  minutely  pains- 
taking with  reference  to  future  housekeeping. 

She  grew  more  beautiful  and  more  noble- 
looking  under  the  influence  of  happiness. 
From  being  a  misanthropic  woman,  a  bird 
with  plucked  wings,  she  was  changing  into 
a  woman  who  felt  her  own  worth,  even  in 
this,  that  some  one  loved  her. 

The  date  of  the  marriage  was  approaching. 

Meanwhile  the  time  in  which  Yosef  was  to 
become  a  doctor  was  drawing  near.  He  toiled, 
therefore,  and  toiled  so  intensely  that  his  health 
tottered.  Sleepless  nights  and  mental  effort 
marked  his  face  with  pallor;  he  grew  thin, 
blue  under  the  eyes;  he  lived  in  continual 
feverish  labor,  in  reality  he  was  losing  his 
strength,  but  he  kept  on  his  feet  as  best  he 
could,  wishing  at  any  price  to  win  absolutely 
both  position  and  an  Independent  future. 

Besides  ambition  and  the  approaching  date 
of  his  marriage,  one  other  thing  urged  him 
to  those  efforts :  the  supply  of  money  which 
he  had  brought  from  home  had  been  gradually 
diminishing,  and  at  present  was  almost  ex- 
hausted. Now  the  burden  of  expenses  and 
housekeeping  fell  on  Augustinovich.  Augus- 
tinovich  had  given  up  drinking  and  earned 
more  than  Yosef.     Music  lessons  brought  him 


In  Vain  183 

in  very  much  relatively,  and  he  did  not  need 
to  renounce  them  because  of  the  pressure  of 
other  work,  for  with  him  natural  gifts  took  the 
place  of  time  and  toil,  even  more  than  was 
needed. 

He  went  to  Pani  Visberg's  daily,  as  before. 
Malinka  ran  out  every  evening  to  open  the 
door  to  him,  and  every  evening  she  snatched 
away  her  hands,  which  he  had  the  habit  of 
covering  with  numerous  kisses.  The  honest 
girl  grew  attached  to  Pan  Adam.  Did  he 
love  her?  Rather  no  than  yes,  for  the  past 
had  quenched  in  him  the  powers  of  sympathy. 
In  reality  he  had  not  fire  to  the  value  of  a 
copper.  If  passion  had  given  heat  to  his 
powers,  they  would  have  carried  him  far,  but 
the  light  from  them  was  like  moonlight,  it 
gave  light  without  heat. 

That,  however,  did  not  hinder  him  from 
being,  as  they  say,  a  capital  fellow,  a  perfect 
comrade,  and  a  pleasant  companion.  If  he 
felt  any  attachment,  it  was  for  Yosef.  But  he 
had  his  likes  and  dislikes;  he  liked  Malinka, 
but  he  did  not  like  Lula. 

And  why  did  he  not  like  her?  There  were 
various  reasons.  She  met  him  always  with 
cool  loftiness,  and  besides  she  was  a  countess. 
Usually  he  had  success  with  women;  he  owed 


184  In  Vain 

it  to  his  inexhaustible  joyousness,  and  even  to 
his  cynicism,  which  made  him  as  if  at  home 
everywhere.  He  had,  moreover,  a  most  par- 
ticular power  of  adapting  himself  to  that 
society  in  which  he  chanced  to  be.  Never 
refined,  he  possessed  (when  he  wished)  high 
social  polish.  He  used  to  say  of  himself  that 
in  him  ease  of  distinction  was  inherited,  since 
it  came  "  from  worthy  blood."  He  had  never 
known  his  parents,  it  is  true,  nor  known  who 
they  were.  He  had  the  hypothesis,  even,  that, 
according  to  the  well-known  jest,  Letitia  the 
grandmother  of  Napoleon  III.  and  his  grand- 
mother were  grandmothers ;  he  proved  in  this 
way  his  relationship  with  the  Buonapartes. 

Notwithstanding  these  characteristics,  Lula 
ignored  him  somewhat.  Yosefs  solid,  simple 
character  roused  a  deeper  interest  in  her  than 
the  frivolous,  elastic  nature  of  Augustinovich. 
Besides,  she  loved  Yosef.  So,  by  the  nature  of 
things,  Augustinovich  remained  at  one  side. 
That  annoyed  him.  This  was  the  state  of 
things  when  Pelski  appeared.  Especially  from 
the  time  when  Yosef  ceased  to  pay  visits,  Lula 
had  changed  uncommonly.  Augustinovich  an- 
noyed her,  for  he  judged  things  through  the 
prism  of  his  particular  repugnance  to  her.  He 
thought  that  then,   if  ever,  she   would   show 


In  Vain  185 

him  dislike  and  even  contempt;  meanwhile  it 
came  out  otherwise.  Lula  left  her  role  of  in- 
difference and  began  to  fear  him. 

"Thanks  to  the  gods,"  thought  Augustino- 
vich,  "  a  man's  tongue  is  nimble  enough,  it 
seems.  She  is  afraid  that  I  shall  make  a  fool 
of  Pelski." 

In  fact,  something  of  the  kind  happened  a 
number  of  times,  —  a  thing  which  it  must  be 
confessed  touched  Lula  very  disagreeably. 

At  first  Lula  asked,  time  after  time,  about 
Yosef,  but  received  the  same  answer  always, 
"  He  is  working."  At  last  she  ceased  asking. 
Still  it  seemed  that  she  wished  to  win  over 
Augustinovich.  In  her  treatment  of  him  there 
was  now  a  certain  mildness  joined  with  a  silent 
melancholy.  Often  she  followed  him  uneasily 
with  her  eyes  when  he  came  in,  as  if  waiting 
for. some  news. 

This  alarm  was  natural.  Whether  she  loved 
Yosef  or  not,  it  could  not  but  astonish  her  that 
he  on  whom  she  had  counted  so  much,  who 
had  shown  her  so  much  sympathy  always,  had 
now  forgotten  her.  She  could  not  rest  satis- 
fied, either,  with  the  answers  of  Augustinovich. 

In  spite  of  the  greatest  labor  it  was  impos- 
sible that  Yosef  should  not  find  in  the  course 
of  more  than  two  months  one  moment  of  time, 


1 86  In  Vain 

even,  to  look  in  at  her,  to  inquire  about  her 
health,  all  the  more  since  she  knew  that  he 
loved  her.  In  this  thought  the  coming  of 
Pelski  was  connected  in  her  mind  wonderfully 
with  the  absence  of  Yosef.  She  supposed, 
justly,  that  there  was  a  certain  connection  be- 
tween them.  Augustinovich  alone  could  ex- 
plain these  things,  but  he  did  not  wish  to  do  so. 

Alarmed,  then  irritated  and  troubled,  at- 
tracted by  Pelski  to  regions  of  brilliant 
dreams,  and  a  splendid  future  of  wealth,  com- 
fort, servants,  and  carriages,  on  the  one  side, 
on  the  other  she  rushed  in  mind  to  the  modest 
lodgings  of  Yosef,  inquiring  anxiously  why  he 
did  not  come. 

But  he  did  not  come.  Pelski  appeared 
every  day  more  definitely  as  a  rival.  Lula, 
blaming  Yosef  for  indifference,  annoyed  and 
humiliated  by  this,  was  willing,  even  through 
revenge,  to  give  her  hand  to  Pelski.  More- 
over, tradition  attracted  her  in  that  direction. 
Who  had  the  power,  who  ought  to  gain  the 
victory,  it  was  easy  to  foresee. 

Pelski,  in  so  far  as  he  was  able,  strove  to 
scatter  the  clouds  from  Lula's  forehead,  and 
frequently  he  succeeded  in  doing  so.  From 
time  to  time  Lula  had  wonderful  accesses  of 
joyousness.     She  laughed  then,  and  scattered 


In  Vain  187 

more  or  less  witty  words  by  thousands;  and 
though  there  was  a  kind  of  fever  in  this  glad- 
ness, there  was  no  little  coquetry  also.  Her 
eyes  flashed  on  such  occasions,  from  her  tem- 
ples there  was  a  burning  atmosphere.  Her 
lips  played  with  an  alluring  smile ;  her  words 
wounded  and  fondled,  attracted  and  repulsed 
in  turn.  Pelski  generally,  and  after  a  few  un- 
fortunate trials  with  Augustinovich,  Pelski 
alone,  fell  a  victim  to  these  freaks.  He  lost 
his  head  then,  and  from  the  role  of  cousin  pro- 
tector he  passed  to  that  of  a  cousin  captive. 

And  the  more  humble  he  became,  the  more 
insolent  grew  Lula;  the  sadder  he  was,  the 
gladder  was  she. 

"  Panna  Malinka,"  whispered  Augustinovich, 
on  such  occasions,  "  never  be  like  her ;  she  is  a 
coquette." 

"  She  is  not,"  answered  Malinka,  sadly.  "  I 
will  remind  you  of  these  words." 

It  is  difficult  to  say  what  Augustinovich 
would  have  thought  after  such  an  evening,  had 
he  seen  that  woman,  who  a  moment  before  was 
coquettish,  left  alone  in  her  chamber,  where 
she  sobbed  so  that  long,  long  hours  could  not 
quiet  her. 

The  poor  girl,  she  could  not  even  confess 
her  suffering  to  any  one,  and  the  grievous  bat- 


1 88  In  Vain 

tie  which  she  was  fighting  all  alone  with  her- 
self. She  wept  in  moments  of  weakness.  How 
much  wounded  self-love  was  there  in  those 
tears,  how  much  sincere  love  for  Yosef,  it  is 
difficult  to  tell.  Formerly  she  would  have  put 
her  arms  around  the  neck  of  the  kind  Malinka, 
and  confessed  all  that  oppressed  her  soul,  but 
now  even  Malinka  was  a  stranger  to  her,  or  at 
least  was  not  so  near  as  formerly.  Just  those 
unsuccessful  attempts  to  coquet  with  Augusti- 
novich  had  wounded  deeply  that  maiden,  who 
was  in  love  with  him ;  and  besides  the  relations 
of  Lula  with  Pelski  seemed  very  odd  to  her. 

Meanwhile  time  passed.  Lula  began  to  doubt 
whether  Yosef  had  ever  loved  her.  Pelski 
imperceptibly  fed  her  with  the  thought  of  future 
comfort.  Time  flowed  on,  and  Time,  according 
to  the  words  of  the  poet, "  is  the  odious  guardian 
of  blooming  roses." 


In  Vain  189 


CHAPTER  XVII 

Malinka  tried  frequently  to  learn  of  Augus- 
tinovich  the  real  cause  of  Yosef 's  absence. 

"Why  bind  her  hands?"  asked  she,  speak- 
ing of  Lula. 

Augustinovich  assured  her  that  he  did  not 
wish  to  bind  Lula's  hands,  but  afterward  he 
was  silent  or  lied. 

On  the  other  hand  Yosef  was  convinced  that 
the  countess  knew  everything. 

"  I  told  her  everything,"  said  Augustinovich. 

"  But  she?     Do  not  hide  from  me  !  " 

"  Yosef?  " 

"What?" 

"What  is  that  to  thee?" 

Yosef  gritted  his  teeth,  but  inquired  no 
further.  He  was  ashamed.  He  confessed  to 
himself  that  those  questions  were  an  indulgence 
granted  to  weakness  and  to  a  former  feeling. 
With  consternation  almost  he  saw  that  time 
had  brought  no  relief.  Oh,  there  were  moments 
when  he  wished  to  cast  away  Helena  and  duty 
and  conscience  and  go  and  sell  even  honor, 


190  In  Vain 

even  the  remnant  of  self-respect,  for  one 
moment  in  which  he  could  rest  his  head 
against  the  countess'  shoulder.  And  he  could 
not  help  meditating  about  her.  So  far  he 
had  conquered,  but  now  he  remembered  that 
formerly  he  had  been  different  from  what  he 
was  then. 

Formerly  his  character  had  that  calm  depth 
which  concealed  everything ;  to-day  he  boiled 
up.  From  passionate  outbursts  he  passed  fre- 
quently to  melancholy  and  indifferent  senti- 
mentalism ;  he  remembered  how  once  he  used 
to  ridicule  this  in  others,  how  he  sneered  with- 
out pity,  how  he  despised  even  sentimentalism. 
Augustinovich  knew  this  best  of  all. 

A  certain  time  (about  a  month  after  the 
breaking  with  Lula)  Augustinovich,  waking  up 
late  in  the  night,  saw  Yosef  dressed  yet  and  sit- 
ting with  a  book.  The  clock  in  the  silent  night 
told  the  Meeting  moments  untiringly.  A  lamp 
burnt  with  a  clear,  bright  flame,  and  by  its 
light  the  ruddy  side  whiskers  and  pale  face  of 
Yosef  were  outlined  clearly  on  the  black  cover 
of  the  chair.  He  was  sitting  with  head  bent 
back  and  closed  eyes,  but  he  was  not  sleeping, 
his  raised  brows  and  the  color  of  his  face  testified 
to  this.  His  face  had  an  expression  of  un- 
speakable bliss;    some  kind  of  dream,  like  a 


In  Vain  191 

golden  butterfly,  was  sitting  on  his  brain  and 
melting  into  misty  mildness  the  sharp  lines  of 
his  features. 

Augustinovich  looked  at  him  carefully,  then 
rose  in  the  bed  silently  with  a  face  full  of 
indignation  and  anger.  "  What  is  he  doing?  " 
thought  he.  "Thou  art  tempting  thyself! 
May  I  be  hanged  if  I  don't  throw  a  pillow  at 
thy  head.  Thou  booby !  Yes,  I  will  throw 
the  pillow!  break  the  lamp  —  Hei!" 

He  had  finished  in  a  moment  these  warlike 
preparations,  and  was  making  ready  to  give 
the  terrible  blow,  when  he  pushed  under  the 
blanket  quickly;  Yosef  opened  his  eyes. 

"  I  am  curious  to  know  what  will  happen 
now,"  muttered  Augustinovich,  pretending  to 
sleep  like  a  dead  man.  Meanwhile  his  aston- 
ishment grew  in  earnest. 

Yosef  looked  at  him  suspiciously,  then 
looked  around  like  a  criminal ;  finally  he  pulled 
out  a  drawer  of  the  table  and  searched  in  it  for 
some  object. 

"  Ei !  if  he  only  does  not  want  to  shoot  him- 
self in  the  head,  or  poison  himself,"  thought 
Augustinovich,  terrified. 

But  Yosef  had  no  thought  of  shooting  or 
poisoning  himself.  The  object  which  he  drew 
forth  was  a  glove.     One  small  yellow  wrinkled 


192  In  Vain 

glove.  Ei !  a  poor  little  memorial,  a  historical 
gift  with  which  one  says  remember  me.  Addio  i 
addio  !  caro  mio  !  Remember  me.  Yosef,  like 
that  Emrod  of  old,  would  have  gone  for  the 
glove  "  among  two  leopards  and  a  tiger  for 
it,"  but  the  question  remained  as  to  whether  he 
went  away  after  that  and  never  returned.  In 
point  of  stupidity  the  centuries  agree  oftener 
than  in  sound  judgment. 

Yosef  raised  the  glove  to  his  lips. 

"  Be  ashamed,  old  man  !  "  roared  Augustino- 
vich. 

In  truth,  there  was  something  humiliating  in 
this,  and  afterward  Yosef  was  greatly  ashamed 
of  his  act.  Next  morning  he  went  out  before 
daylight  to  avoid  Augustinovich,  who  was  seri- 
ously angry  and  indignant.  It  seemed  to  him 
that  he  had  been  deceived  in  Yosef. 

"  That  dunce,"  said  he,  "  is  like  others." 
This  idea  roused  that  distaste  in  him  which  we 
feel  usually  on  beginning  to  lose  regard  for  a 
man  whom  we  have  thus  far  respected. 

More  important  still  was  it  that  after  that 
event  Augustinovich  grew  convinced  that 
Yosef  would  return  to  Lula.  "Let  the  other 
die  or  go  mad,"  said  he  of  the  widow.  "  They 
will  take  each  other,  let  her  die  —  Ei,  let  her 
die  "  (Augustinovich  always  tried  to  persuade 


In  Vain  193 

himself  that  he  did  not  like  women),  "  there 
will  be  one  less  of  them.  Yosef  will  go  back 
to  Lula,  he  will." 

He  meditated  then  whether  to  tell  Lula  that 
Yosef  was  to  marry,  or  not;  in  the  end  he 
resolved  to  be  silent 

"  But  Helena  is  nothing  to  me.  He  will 
return  to  Lula;  if  I  tell  her  everything  it  will 
be  too  late  —  it  will  be  too  late !  Oh,  ho,  ho ! 
But  Helena  too  will  lose,  for  again  it  will  be 
too  late.  Yes,  yes,  I  should  not  be  able  to 
correct  the  one,  and  should  spoil  the  other.  I 
shall  say  nothing,  I  will  be  silent  —  I  will  be 
silent." 

He  preferred  Helena  to  Lula,  a  hundred 
times,  and  from  his  soul  he  preferred  that 
Yosef  should  marry  Helena;  but  he  cared 
more  for  Yosef  than  for  both  women,  there- 
fore he  wished  Lula  to  be  free  "in  every 
case."  Besides,  he  considered  that  come  what 
might,  Lula  would  take  Pelski.  "Then," 
thought  he,  "  I  will  tell  the  old  man.  '  Dost 
see,'  I  will  say  to  him,  *  I  said  nothing  about 
Helena,  she  knew  nothing  about  thy  not 
loving  her;  still  she  married  Pelski.'" 

Finally,  he  concealed  carefully  the  news  of 
Yosef's  intended  marriage,  in  case  that  Lula, 
laughing  and  happy  in  view  of  Yosef's  hypo- 
13 


194  In  Vain 

thetical  return,  should  give  her  hand  to  Pelski. 
u  Yosef  will  wish  happiness  to  the  lady,  I  will 
say  '  Crescite  et  multiplicamini !  He/  I  shall 
say,  pointing  to  Yosef, '  has  been  betrothed  this 
long  time ;  he  loves  and  is  loved  immensely.'  " 


In  Vain  195 


CHAPTER  XVIII 

DAYS  passed,  still  Yosef  did  not  return  to  the 
countess,  but  Malinka  said  to  Augustinovich, — 

"  Pelski  may  offer  himself  any  day  to  Lula." 

"And  if  he  does  not,  she  may  offer  her- 
self to  him,"  answered  Augustinovich,  with 
emphasis. 

"  Oh,  that  is  not  true,  not  true." 

"  We  shall  see." 

"  No,  Pan  Adam.  Lula  has  much  womanly 
pride,  and  if  she  should  marry  Pelski  it  would 
be  only  through  that  same  pride,  through  anger 
at  Yosefs  indifference.  Besides,  to  tell  the 
truth,  Pelski  is  the  only  man  who  loves  her, 
for  he  is  the  only  one  who  has  remained  — 
on  whom  she  can  count." 

"  Ah !  but  evidently  she  likes  to  count  on 
some  one." 

Malinka  was  angry. 

"  She  counted  once  on  Pan  Yosef;  she  was 
deceived.  How  can  you  blame  her,  when  he 
does  not  come  —  do  you  understand?  —  when 
he  does  not  come?" 


196  In  Vain 

Pan  Adam  was  silent. 

"  She  has  been  deceived  painfully,"  continued 
Malinka,  "  and  believe  me,  I  alone  know  what 
that  costs  her,  and  though  we  are  not  so 
friendly  as  before  (she  rejected  me  herself),  I 
see  often  how  she  suffers.  Yesterday  I  went 
to  her  room  and  found  her  in  tears.  '  Lula ! ' 
asked  I,  though  she  withdrew  from  me,  '  what 
is  the  matter  with  thee?'  'Nothing,  I  suffer 
from  headache/  said  she.  •  My  Lula/  said  I, 
'  thou  hast  heartache,  not  headache ! '  I  wished 
to  throw  myself  on  her  neck,  but  she  pushed 
me  aside,  and  then  stood  up  with  such  haughti- 
ness that  I  was  frightened.  'I  was  crying  from 
shame/  said  she,  firmly.  '  Wilt  thou  understand, 
from  shame ! '  I  wished  to  understand  her,  but 
was  unable ;  I  only  know  that  the  evening  of 
that  day  I  saw  her  in  tears  again.  And  dost 
thou  see?" 

"  What  does  all  this  prove?  " 

"  That  it  is  not  easy  for  her  to  renounce  her 
idea  of  Yosef.  What  has  happened  that  he 
does  not  come?  " 

"  But  if  he  should  come?  " 

"  She  would  not  marry  Pelski." 

"  Oh,  I  ridicule  the  idea  that  '  she  would 
not/  " 

"  Yes,  for  you  ridicule  everything.     But  Pan 


In  Vain  197 

Yosef  ?  Is  it  noble  on  his  part  to  desert  her 
in  this  way?  " 

"  Who  knows  what  he  intends  to  do  ?  " 

"  He  ought  to  know  himself,"  answered 
Malinka,  decidedly,  "  and  he  should  not  con- 
ceal his  intentions  from  her." 

"  He  has  no  time,  he  is  working." 

That  day,  however,  Malinka  convinced  her- 
self that  Yosef  was  not  sitting  so  diligently 
at  home  as  Augustinovich  had  represented. 
While  walking  with  her  mother,  she  met  him 
passing  with  some  young  man.  He  did  not 
notice  them.  Malinka  was  almost  terrified  at 
his  appearance.  He  seemed  to  her  as  pale 
and  crushed  as  if  he  had  recovered  from  a 
grievous  illness.  "Then  he  has  been  sick," 
thought  she,  after  returning  home.  Now  she 
understood  why  Pan  Adam  would  not  explain 
the  absence.  "Yosef  commanded  him  not 
to  frighten  Lula."  All  at  once  Yosef  rose  in 
Malinka's  eyes  to  the  loftiness  of  an  ideal. 

Augustinovich  came  in  the  evening,  as  usual. 
In  the  drawing-room  Pani  Visberg  and  the 
countess  were  present. 

"Pan  Adam,"  exclaimed  Malinka,  "I  know 
why  Pan  Yosef  has  not  been  here  for  so  long  a 
time !  " 

Lula's  eyes  gleamed,  but  that  moment  she 


198  In  Vain 

controlled   herself;    still  her  hands  trembled 
imperceptibly. 

"The  poor  man,  he  must  have  been  very 
sick;  he  is  as  pale  as  if  he  had  come  Out  of 
a  coffin!  Why  did  you  not  tell  us  of  this?  " 
asked  Pani  Visberg,  quickly. 

"  Oh,  Pan  Adam  was  afraid  that  we  should 
speak  of  it  before  Lula.  Was  that  nice  ? " 
asked  Malinka. 

"What  is  the  matter  with  thee,  Lula?  Art 
sick?" 

"  Nothing,  nothing  !  I  will  come  back  in  a 
moment." 

Her  face  was  pale,  breath  failed  her.  She 
went  out,  almost  fled  to  her  chamber.  Pani 
Visberg  wished  to  follow  her.  Malinka  de- 
tained her  gently  but  decisively. 

"  Thou  must  not  go,  mamma." 

Then  she  turned  to  Augustinovich ;  her  voice 
had  a  sad  and  serious  sound. 

"  Pan  Adam?" 

Augustinovich  bit  his  lips. 

"Pan  Adam!  What  is  this?  'Lula  is  a 
coquette  without  a  heart,'  is  she  not?  " 

"  Perhaps  I  was  mistaken,"  blurted  out 
Augustinovich ;  "  but  —  but  —  " 

He  did  not  dare  to  cough  out  of  himself 
at    the    moment    that    Yosef   was    going    to 


In  Vain  199 

marry  Helena,  that  he  would  not  come  any- 
more. 

On  returning  home  he  was  also  afraid  to 
tell  Yosef  what  had  happened. 

Lula  shut  herself  up  in  her  chamber.  Her 
head  was  on  fire,  and  thoughts  like  a  garland 
of  sparks  and  ice  were  besieging  her  temples, 
and  in  the  silence  could  be  heard  distinctly  her 
hurried  breathing  and  the  throbbing  of  her 
heart.  Pelski,  Malinka,  Pan  Adam  whirled 
around  her  in  inexplicable  chaos,  and  out  of 
those  fragments  of  thought  as  out  of  a  grave 
rose  higher  and  higher  the  pale,  almost  lifeless 
head  of  Yosef,  with  closed  eyes.  "  He  is  sick ! 
he  is  sick !  "  repeated  she,  in  a  whisper.  "  He 
will  die,  and  never  come  here  again." 

Poor  Lula  interpreted  differently  from  Ma- 
linka Yosef 's  absence.  She  judged  that  he  had 
sacrificed  himself  for  her,  —  that,  not  wishing 
to  stand  between  her  and  Pelski,  he  had  re- 
nounced her,  and  therefore  he  suffered  so 
much  and  was  sick.  "  Still,  who  told  him  that 
I  should  be  happy  with  Pelski?"  whispered 
she,  quietly.  "  He  did  not  trust  me.  My  God, 
my  God !  but  could  he  trust  me?" 

Memory  brought  before  her  as  a  reproach 
those  moments  of  gleaming  looks,  alluring 
smiles,  and  velvety  words  given  to  Pelski ;  she 


OF  THE 

UNIVERSITY 

n        OF 

200  In  Vain 

remembered  also  that  blush  of  shame  with 
which  she  was  blazing  when  Pelski  learned 
that  Yosef  was  the  son  of  a  blacksmith.  And 
now  she  hid  her  burning  face  in  her  hands,  but 
that  was  shame  of  another  kind.  It  seemed  to 
her  at  that  moment  that  if  Yosef  himself  were  a 
blacksmith  she  would  kiss  his  blackened  fore- 
head with  delight  even ;  even  with  perfect  happi- 
ness would  she  place  her  head  on  his  valiant 
breast,  though  it  were  covered  with  the  apron 
of  a  blacksmith. 

"  How  dark  it  is  in  my  eyes !  I  did  not 
know  that  I  loved  him,"  said  she,  trembling 
and  aflame. 

Her  bosom  moved  quickly!  Again  some 
thought  the  most  tender  decked  out  her  fore- 
head with  the  brightness  of  an  angel;  she 
threw  herself  on  her  knees  before  an  image 
of  the  Virgin. 

"O  mother  of  God!"  cried  she,  aloud,  "if 
any  one  has  to  suffer  or  to  die,  let  me  suffer, 
but  preserve  and  love  him,  O  Most  Holy 
Mother !  " 

Then  she  rose  in  calmness,  and  was  so  bright 
with  the  light  of  love  that  one  might  have 
said  that  a  silver  lamp  was  shining  in  that  dark 
little  chamber  before  the  image  of  the  Holy 
Virgin. 


In  Vain  201 

During  the  two  following  days  Augustinovich 
did  not  appear;  but  Pelski  came,  and  according 
to  Malinka's  previsions,  proposed  to  Lula. 
Seeing  his  cousin's  face  calm,  and  smiling 
with  good  hope,  he  expressed  to  her  his 
hopes  and  wishes.  The  more  painful  was  his 
astonishment  when  Lula  gave  him  a  decisively 
negative  answer. 

"  I  love  another,"  was  the  substance  of  her 
answer. 

Pelski  wanted  to  learn  who  "that  other" 
was.  Lula  told  him  without  hesitation ;  then, 
as  is  done  usually  on  such  occasions,  she 
offered  him  her  friendship. 

But  Pelski  did  not  accept  the  hand  extended 
to  him  at  parting. 

"  You  have  taken  too  much  from  me,  you 
give  me  too  little,  cousin,"  whispered  he,  in  a 
crushed  voice.  M  For  the  happiness  of  a  life- 
time —  friendship  !  !  " 

But  Lula  felt  no  reproach  after  his  departure. 
She  was  thinking  of  something  else.  This  is 
the  bad  side  of  love,  that  it  never  thinks  of 
anything  but  itself.  It  excludes  particulars, 
but  as  a  recompense  includes  the  whole. 
Thou  feelest  that  if  the  world  were  one  man 
thou  wouldst  press  him  to  thy  bosom  and  kiss 
him  on  the  head  as  a  father. 


202  In  Vain 

Something  like  that  did  Lula  feel  when  she 
went  to  Malinka's  chamber  after  Pelski's  visit. 
She  needed  to  confess  to  some  one  all  that  lay 
on  her  heart. 

Malinka  was  sitting  near  the  window.  In 
the  twilight,  on  the  darkened  panes,  could  be 
seen  her  mild,  thoughtful  little  face.  All  at 
once  Lula's  arms  were  clasped  around  her  neck. 

"Is  that  thou,  Lula?"  asked  she,  in  a  low 
voice. 

"  I,  Malinka !  "  answered  Lula. 

She  was  sitting  on  a  small  stool  near  Ma- 
linka's feet ;  she  put  her  head  on  her  knees. 

"  My  kind  Malinka,  thou  art  not  angry  with 
me  now,  and  dost  not  despise  me?" 

Malinka  fondled  her  like  a  child. 

"  I  was  very  much  to  blame  as  thou  seest,  but 
in  my  own  heart  I  have  found  myself  to-day. 
How  pleasant  it  is  for  me  here  near  thee !  As 
formerly  we  talked  long  and  often  —  let  it  be 
so  to-day !     Art  thou  willing?  " 

Malinka  smiled  half  sadly,  half  jestingly,  and 
answered,  — 

"  Let  it  be  so  to-day,  but  later  it  will  change. 
A  certain  ■  His  grace '  will  come  and  take 
Lula  away,  and  I  shall  be  left  alone." 

"But  will  he  come?"  inquired  Lula,  in  a 
very  low  whisper. 


In  Vain  203 

"He  will  come.  The  poor  man  was  sick 
surely  from  yearning.  I  did  not  understand 
what  it  meant  that  Pan  Adam  would  not  tell 
me  why  he  came  not ;  now  I  understand.  Pan 
Yosef  forbade  him,  he  would  not  terrify  thee." 

"  I  think  that  he  did  not  wish  to  hinder 
Pelski  —  so  unkind  of  him  to  do  this." 

"  But  what  did  Pelski  do  ?  " 

"  I  was  just  going  to  tell  thee.  He  proposed 
to  me  to-day." 

"And  what?" 

"  I  refused  him,  Malinka." 

Silence  continued  awhile. 

"  He  would  not  even  take  my  hand  when  I 
gave  it  at  parting,  but  could  I  do  otherwise? 
I  know  that  I  acted  very  unkindly,  very  un- 
kindly, but  could  I  act  otherwise?  I  do  not 
love  him." 

"  Better  late  than  never.  Thou  didst  obey 
the  voice  of  thy  heart.  Only  with  Pan  Yosef 
canst  thou  be  happy." 

"  Oh,  that  is  true,  true." 

"  In  a  month  or  so,"  continued  Malinka,  "  we 
shall  array  Lula  in  a  white  robe,  weep  over 
Lula  the  maiden  and  rejoice  over  Lula  the 
wife.  Thou  wilt  be  happy,  he  and  thou.  He 
must  be  a  good  man,  since  all  respect  him  so 
much." 


204  In  Vain 

"Do  all  respect  him  so  much?"  repeated 
Lula,  who  wanted  to  laugh  and  cry  at  the  same 
moment. 

"Oh,  yes,  mamma  fears  him  even,  and  I 
also  fear  him  a  little,  but  I  respect  him  for  his 
character." 

Lula  put  both  hands  under  her  head,  and 
resting  on  Malinka's  knees,  looked  into  her 
face  with  eyes  bright  from  tears. 

Meanwhile  it  grew  perfectly  dark,  then  the 
moon  rose,  the  dogs  fell  asleep ;  nothing  was 
to  be  heard  save  the  whispers  of  the  two 
maidens  filled  with  fancies  by  their  talk. 

All  at  once  they  were  interrupted  by  the 
bell  at  the  entrance. 

"  Maybe  that  is  he  !  "  cried  Lula. 

But  it  was  not  "he,"  for  in  the  first  room 
was  heard  Augustinovich's  voice,  — 

"  Are  the  ladies  at  home?  " 

"  Go,  Lula,  into  that  room  and  hide  there," 
said  Malinka,  quickly.  "I  will  tell  him  how 
thou  didst  give  the  refusal  to  Pelski,  I  will  beg 
him  to  repeat  it  to  Pan  Yosef.  We  shall  see 
if  he  does  not  come.  Thou  mayst  listen 
there." 

The  door  opened.    Augustinovich  entered. 


In  Vain  205 


CHAPTER  XIX 

We  have  said  that  Augustinovich  feared  to 
tell  Yosef  what  had  happened  at  Pani  Vis- 
berg's.  Lula  had  deceived  his  expectations; 
in  spite  of  aristocracy,  in  spite  of  Pelski,  she 
loved  the  young  doctor,  since  news  of  his 
sickness  had  shocked  her  to  such  a  degree. 

Augustinovich  lost  his  humor  and  the  free- 
dom of  thought  usual  to  him.  Whether  he 
would  or  not,  he  felt  respect  for  Lula,  and  he 
felt  respect  for  woman.  Ei !  that  was  some- 
thing so  strange  in  him,  so  out  of  harmony 
with  his  moral  make  up,  that  he  could  not 
come  into  agreement  with  himself.  He  had 
the  look  of  a  man  caught  in  a  falsehood,  and 
the  falsehood  was  his  understanding  of  woman. 
He  grew  very  gloomy.  Once  even  (a  wonder- 
ful thing  and  strange  for  him,  or  forgotten) 
words  were  forced  from  him  that  were  full  of 
painful  bitterness :  "  Oh,  if  one  like  her  could 
be  met  in  a  lifetime,  a  man  would  not  be  what 
he  is."  He  avoided  Yosef,  he  feared  him,  he 
hesitated,  he  wished  to  confess  everything; 
then  again  he  deferred  it  till  the  morrow. 


2o6  In  Vain 

Finally  Yosef  himself  took  note  of  his 
strange  demeanor. 

"What  is  the  matter  with  thee,  Adam?" 
asked  he. 

"  But  of  Lula  he  cannot  ask !  "  cried  Augus- 
tinovich, with  comical  despair. 

Yosef  sprang  to  his  feet. 

"Of  Lula?  What  does  that  mean?   Speak!" 

"  It  means  nothing ;  what  should  it  mean  ? 
Is  all  this  to  mean  something  right  away?" 

"  Augustinovich,  thou  art  hiding  some- 
thing?" 

"  But  the  fellow  is  thinking  only  of  Lula !  " 
cried  Augustinovich,  with  increasing  despair. 

Yosef  with  unheard-of  effort  mastered  him- 
self, but  that  was  a  calm  before  a  terrible  storm. 
His  sunken  cheeks  grew  still  paler,  his  eyes 
were  flaming. 

"Well,  I  will  tell  thee  all !  "  cried  Augustino- 
vich, anticipating  the  outburst.  "  I  will  tell, 
I  will  tell !     Ei,  who  will  forbid  me  to  tell  thee 

that  thou  hast  won  the  case !     May  Satan 

me  if  thou  hast  not  won.     She  loves  thee." 

Yosef  put  his  trembling  hands  to  his  per- 
spiring face. 

"  But  Pelski?"  asked  he. 

"  He  has  not  proposed  yet." 

"  Does  she  know  everything  about  me?" 


In  Vain  207 

"Yosef!" 
"  Speak!" 

"  She  knows  nothing.     I  told  her  nothing." 
Yosefs  voice  was  dull  and  hoarse  when  he 
asked, — 

"  Why  hast  thou  done  me  this  injustice  ?" 
"  I  thought  that  thou  wouldst  return  to  her." 
Yosef  twisted  his  hands  till  the  ringers  were 
cracking  in  their  joints;  Augustinovich's  last 
words  fell  on  him  like  red-hot  coals.  Return 
to  her?  That  was  to  abandon  Helena,  and 
did  not  conscience  itself  defend  Helena's  cause  ? 
To  return  to  Lula  was  to  purchase  the  happi- 
ness of  a  lifetime,  but  to  return  to  her  was  to 
dishonor  Helena,  to  kill  her,  to  become  con- 
temptible, to  purchase  contempt  for  himself. 
Oh,  misfortune ! 

In  Yosefs  soul  was  taking  place  that  devil's 
dance  of  a  man  with  himself.  Yosef  was 
dancing  with  Yosef  to  the  music  of  that 
orchestra  of  passion.  Various  thoughts,  plans, 
methods,  stormed  in  him;  the  battle  raged 
along  the  whole  line. 

Augustinovich  looked  at  his  comrade  with  a 
face  which  was  despairingly  stupid,  and  he 
would  have  liked,  as  the  saying  is,  to  take 
himself  by  his  own  collar  and  throw  himself 
out  of  doors. 


208  In  Vain 

All  at  once  some  decision  was  outlined  on 
Yosef's  face.     The  case  was  lost. 

"  Augustinovich ! " 

"What?" 

"Thou  wilt  go  this  moment  to  Pani  Vis- 
berg's  and  tell  Lula  that  I  am  going  to  marry, 
that  the  ceremony  will  take  place  in  a  month, 
and  that  I  never  shall  return  to  her,  never. 
Dost  understand?  " 

Augustinovich  rose  up  and  went. 

Malinka  received  him  in  the  way  known  to 
us.  Lula  was  to  hear  their  conversation  from 
behind  the  door. 

Malinka,  full  of  imaginings  from  her  recent 
talk  with  Lula,  was  gladsome  and  smiling ;  she 
pressed  Pan  Adam's  hand  cordially. 

But  he  did  not  respond  with  a  like  cordiality. 

"  It  is  well  that  you  have  come,"  said  she. 
"  I  have  much  to  tell  you,  much." 

"And  I  too  have  much  to  tell,  much.  I 
have  come  as  an  envoy." 

"  From  Pan  Yosef  ?  " 

"  From  Pan  Yosef." 

"Is  he  better?" 

"  He  is  sick.     Has  Pelski  been  here  ?  " 

11  He  has.     I  have  wanted  to  talk  of  this." 

"  I  am  listening,  Panna  Malinka." 

"  He  proposed  to  Lula." 


In  Vain  209 

"  And  what  then?" 

"  She  refused  him.  Oh,  Pan  Adam,  she 
loves  no  man  but  Pan  Yosef,  she  wants 
to  belong  to  him  only.  My  dear,  honest 
Lula !  " 

Silence  lasted  a  moment. 

Pan  Adam's  voice  quivered  when  he  pro- 
nounced the  following  words  deliberately,  — 

"  She  will  not  belong  to  him." 

"  Pan  Adam  !  " 

"Yosef,  according  to  promise,  is  going  to 
marry." 

This  news  struck  both  young  ladies  like  a 
thunderbolt.  For  a  moment  there  was  deep 
silence.  All  at  once  the  door  of  the  adjoining 
chamber  opened.  Lula  entered  the  drawing- 
room. 

On  her  face  a  blush  of  offended  womanly 
dignity  was  playing,  in  her  eyes  pride  was 
gleaming.  It  seemed  to  her  that  everything 
which  she  held  sacred  in  her  heart  had  been 
trampled. 

"  Malinka,"  cried  she,  "  ask  no  more,  I  im- 
plore thee  !  Enough,  enough !  This  gentle- 
man has  delivered  his  message.  Why  lower 
one's  self  by  an  answer?  " 

And  taking  Malinka  by  the  hand,  she  led 
her  out  of  the  chamber  almost  with  violence. 
14 


210  In  Vain 

Augustinovich  followed  them  awhile  with 
his  eyes,  then  nodded  a  couple  of  times. 

"  By  the  prophet !  "  said  he,  "  I  understand 
her.  She  is  right,  but  so  is  Yosef.  Hei !  I 
must  fly  before  everything  breaks." 

In  a  moment  he  ran  to  Pelski,  told  him  the 
whole  story. 

"  Some  fatality  weighed  on  them,"  con- 
cluded Augustinovich.  "  Yosef  could  not  act 
otherwise,  could  he?" 

"  He  acted  as  was  fitting,  but  what  inclined 
you  to  tell  me  of  this?" 

"  A  bagatelle.  One  question :  Did  not 
Lula  act  nobly  in  rejecting  your  hand  ?  " 

"  I  will  leave  the  answer  to  myself." 

"  Leave  it,  my  dear  sir !  The  answer  is  all 
one  to  me,  Lula  is  nothing  to  me;  I  know 
only  that  if  my  friend  withdraws  her  future 
will  not  be  enviable,  and  you  are  her  cousin  — 
The  case  is  too  bad." 

Pelski  thought  awhile. 

"  Too  bad?  Ha,  what  is  too  bad?" 

"  That  your  proposal  did  not  come  a  little 
later." 

Pelski  walked  with  quick  step  through  the 
room. 

"  Now,  never !  "  whispered  he  to  himself. 

Augustinovich  heard  this  monologue. 


In  Vain  211 

"Too  late,  too  late;  but  —  but  —  now  one 
small  request.  Tell  no  one  that  I  was  here, 
especially  do  not  tell  Pani  Visberg  or  my 
friend  if  ever  you  see  them." 

"  What  is  this  to  your  friend? " 

11  Everything ;  but  you  would  not  under- 
stand it,  dear  count  —  Till  our  next  meeting!" 

Pelski,  left  alone,  meditated  long  as  to  how 
that  could  really  concern  Augustinovich.  He 
did  not  think  out  any  answer,  but  came  to  the 
conviction  that  it  might  concern  his  own  self 
somewhat. 

"  I  might  return  to  her,  feigning  ignorance  of 
what  has  happened,"  said  he.    "  Poor  Lula !  " 


212  In  Vain 


CHAPTER  XX 

The  two  young  ladies  were  sitting  in  Lula's 
chamber.  That  was  a  painful  silence.  If 
there  are  grievous  moments  in  life,  they  had 
thrown  their  weight  on  the  present  fate  of 
Lula.  Everything  which  she  held  sacred  in 
her  breast  had  been  trampled.  She  had  put 
into  that  love  the  best  parts  of  her  moral 
existence,  the  victory  to  her  had  been  like 
a  wedding  solemnity;  by  the  power  of  this 
feeling  she  had  risen  from  a  momentary  fall, 
she  had  conquered  family  prejudice,  rejected 
the  hand  of  a  man  who  loved  her,  and  with 
it  a  calm  future,  life  in  plenty,  her  own  inde- 
pendence, and  the  pay  for  all  this  was  informa- 
tion that  he  whom  she  loved  was  to  marry 
another. 

Ei !  she  lost  still  more.  All  the  angelic  quali- 
ties which  preceding  days  had  given  her  were 
crushed  now  into  ruins  of  despair.  Her  soul 
might  wither  to  its  foundation  !  Had  she  not 
lost  with  love  also  faith  and  hope,  not  in  their 
theological  sense,  but  in  all  their  vital  value 


In  Vain  213 

for  life?  The  ground  was  pushing  from  under 
her.  Like  a  boat  without  an  oar,  she  was  to 
drift  in  the  future  beyond  sight  of  shore. 
To-day  an  orphan  gathered  in  by  honest 
hearts,  she  may  find  herself  to-morrow  simply 
suffering  hunger,  without  a  morsel  of  bread ; 
to-day  so  white  that  lilies  might  bloom  on  her 
breast,  she  may  in  future  stain  that  whiteness 
with  the  gall  of  her  own  bitterness:  to-day 
half  a  child  almost,  in  the  spring,  in  the  May 
morning,  she  may  after  this  or  that  number  of 
years  have  to  look  at  her  life's  fruitless  autumn. 

Humiliated,  broken,  "  like  twigs  after  a  tem- 
pest," pushed  away  from  her  moral  basis,  killed 
in  her  happiness ;  with  dry  burning  eyes  she 
pressed  the  weeping  Malinka  to  her  bosom 
convulsively. 

Lula  did  not  weep,  although  she  had  tears 
enough  for  weeping ;  anger  had  dried  them. 
But  Malinka  cried  enough  for  both. 

Next  morning  the  countess  received  two 
letters,  —  one  from  Pelski,  the  other  from 
Yosef. 

"Madame  (wrote  Pelski),  —  The  pain  which  I 
felt  in  consequence  of  your  answer  did  not  permit 
me  to  reckon  with  my  words.  I  rejected  the  friend- 
ship which  you  offered  me.    I  regret  that  act.    Though 


214  &*  Vain 

I  cannot  explain  your  treatment  of  me,  I  see  that  you 
followed  the  voice  of  your  heart.  I  trust  that  that 
voice  has  not  deceived  you.  If  he  whom  you  have 
chosen  loves  you  as  much  as  I  should,  be  assured  of 
your  happiness.  I  reproach  him  not,  I  dare  not  judge 
a  man  whom  you  love.  As  to  myself,  forced  by  stern 
necessity  to  part  with  the  hope  of  possessing  you,  I 
implore  you  as  the  highest  favor  not  to  remember  my 
words  thrown  out  in  a  moment  of  pain.  Permit  me 
to  return  and  claim  that  friendship  inconsiderately 
rejected,  friendship  which  for  me  in  the  future  may 
take  the  place  of  the  happiness  of  a  lifetime." 

In  the  evening  Augustinovich  brought  a 
letter  from  Yosef.  Lula  did  not  wish  to 
open  it. 

"  Do  not  do  him  injustice,"  said  Augustino- 
vich, imploringly,  "  for  at  the  present  mo- 
ment my  old  friend  is  perhaps  — "  Tears 
choked  him,  further  words  stuck  in  his  throat. 
"  These  may  be  his  last  words  —  I  took  him 
to  the  hospital  yesterday,"  whispered  he. 

Lula  grew  as  pale  as  linen.  It  seemed  for  a 
moment  that  she  would  faint.  In  vain  did  she 
strive  to  preserve  a  calm  and  cool  face,  her 
whole  body  shook  like  a  leaf.  Come  what 
might,  she  loved  Yosef. 

She  took  from  Pan  Adam's  hand  the  letter, 
which  read  as  follows :  — 


In  Vain  215 

"  Dear  Lady,  —  I  was  able  to  endure  the  loss  of 
your  hand,  but  not  of  your  respect.  Read  and  judge. 
A  dying  friend  left  to  my  care  a  woman  whom  he 
loved  with  all  the  power  of  a  suffering  heart.  I  had 
deprived  him  of  the  love  of  this  woman  without  wish- 
ing to  do  so.  After  his  death  I  became  acquainted 
with  her  more  intimately,  and  it  seemed  to  me  that  I 
loved  her.  Unfortunately  I  told  her  so.  After  that 
you  know,  beloved  lady,  what  happened.  After  that 
I  hid  from  myself  my  ill-fated  attachment  to  you. 
How  much  I  suffered !  Oh,  pardon  me  !  I  am  a 
man,  I  too  must  love,  but  still  it  was  not  from  my 
lips  that  you  learned  of  that  love.  When  at  last 
I  stood  before  my  own  conscience,  when  the  moment 
of  memory  came,  judge  yourself,  how  was  I  to  act, 
whither  was  I  to  go,  what  was  I  to  do  ?  The  oath 
to  a  dying  man,  the  word  given  to  a  woman  unhappy 
beyond  expression,  everything  except  my  heart  com- 
manded me  to  abdicate  you.  It  was  not  through  my 
fault  that  you  learned  of  this  only  yesterday.  This 
news  should  have  gone  to  you  at  the  time  when 
Count  Pelski  appeared.  Misfortune,  and  the  frivol- 
ity of  a  man  ordained  otherwise.  This  is  the  state 
of  affairs !  Judge,  and,  if  you  are  able,  forgive. 
Adam  says  that  I  am  ill.  This  is  true  :  my  thoughts 
are  weeping,  I  feel  a  burning  in  my  blood,  and  out 
of  pain  and  chaos  I  see  one  thing  clearly,  —  that  I 
love  !  that  I  love  thee,  O  angel ! " 

After  the  reading  of  this  letter  the  remnants 
of  anger  and  pride  vanished  from  Lula's  fore- 


216  In  Vain 

head,  on  her  beautiful  face  a  mild  though  deep 
melancholy  fixed  itself. 

"  Pan  Adam,"  said  she,  "  tell  the  gentleman 
that  he  has  acted  as  he  should." 

"And  forgive  me,  dear  lady,"  said  Augustino- 
vich,  throwing  himself  on  his  knees.  "I  was 
unjust.  I  did  you  a  wrong,  but  I  had  no  idea, 
I  knew  not,  that  there  were  such  women  in  the 
world  as  you  are." 


In  Vain  217 


CHAPTER  XXI 

Augustinovich  went  directly  from  Pani  Vis- 
berg's  to  the  hospital,  where  he  remained  all 
night.  Yosef  was  illr  very  ill.  Typhus  rushed 
at  that  strong  organism,  threatening  it  with 
utter  destruction.  About  midnight  the  sick 
man  began  to  rave;  he  talked  with  himself, 
and  argued  obstinately  on  the  immortality  of 
the  soul  with  a  black  cat  which  he  saw  sitting 
on  the  bed.  It  appeared  that  he  feared  death, 
for  a  number  of  times  indescribable  terror  was 
depicted  on  his  face.  He  feared  and  trembled 
very  acutely  after  every  movement  of  Augus- 
tinovich. At  moments  he  sang  with  a  quiver- 
ing voice,  and  as  it  were  through  sleep  various 
gladsome  and  melancholy  songs,  or  conversed 
with  acquaintances.  There  was  even  a  kind  of 
astonishing  humor  in  the  naturalness  of  tones 
in  these  conversations. 

Augustinovich,  unmanned  already  by  the 
events  of  preceding  days,  was  irritated  un- 
speakably. He  waited  for  morning  with  long- 
ing, looking  often  at  the  window-panes,  which, 


218  In  Vain 

as  if  through  spite,  continued  to  be  as  black  as 
ever.  Outside  there  was  deep  darkness,  and 
fine  rain  began  to  cut  the  window-panes,  fill- 
ing the  hospital  chamber  with  a  sound  which 
was  monotonous  and  disagreeable. 

For  a  long  time  such  sad  and  disquieting 
thoughts  had  not  wandered  into  Augustino- 
vich's  head  as  at  that  moment.  Resting  his 
elbows  on  his  knees  and  covering  his  face  with 
his  hands,  he  meditated  over  the  marvellous 
and  painful  complication  of  events  during 
the  last  few  days.  Sometimes  he  raised  his 
head  and  cast  a  quick  glance  at  the  sick  man ; 
at  times  it  seemed  to  him  that  the  gloom  of 
death  was  falling  on  the  withered,  sharp  fea- 
tures of  Yosef. 

Augustinovich  pondered  over  this,  how  a 
man,  so  active  and  broadly  living  a  short 
time  before,  would  be  in  a  couple  of  days, 
perhaps,  something  dead,  which  they  would 
bury  in  the  ground,  and  the  comedy  would  be 
ended !  Oh,  an  ordinary,  every-day  thought, 
and  every  day  equally  bitter  for  those  who 
must  think:  This  is  the  end!  dust!  Still, 
when  he  lived  with  full  life,  he  judged,  ana- 
lyzed, acted  perhaps  more  widely  than  others. 
As  a  plough  turns  out  the  sod,  so  he,  in  the  soil 
of  life,  from  the  furrows  of  good  and  evil  was 


In  Vain  219 

winning  good  and  —  ?  Involuntarily  one  asks 
for  the  moral  sense  of  this  fable.  Where, 
when,  on  what  planets,  will  living  persons  find 
an  answer  beyond  the  tomb?  Immortality? 
—  In  the  ocean  of  human  acts  perhaps  a  few 
moral  atoms  of  the  deeds  of  the  dead  survive, 
but  that  /,  powerful,  energetically  self-con- 
scious, where  is  it?  And  those  atoms  of  acts 
are  like  the  corpse  of  a  sailor  dropped  down 
from  a  ship  into  the  abyss  of  the  sea.  Where 
shall  we  look  for  them,  and  who  will  find  them  ? 
Will  God  ever  fish  them  out  from  those  shore- 
less billows,  and  will  He  develop  from  them 
a  new  self-conscious  being?  "  E  bene  trovato!  " 
The  bitterness  of  these  thoughts  settled  now 
on  the  sleepy  forehead  of  Augustinovich,  but 
meanwhile  the  window-panes  from  black  began 
to  turn  gray.  It  was  dawning.  In  the  chamber 
the  light  of  the  candle  grew  rosier  gradually 
and  fainter,  objects  began  to  issue  from  the 
shade.  In  the  corridors  were  heard  now  the 
steps  of  the  hospital  servants.  An  hour  later 
the  doctor  came  in. 

"How  is  the  patient?"  inquired  he. 

"  111,"  answered  Augustinovich,  abruptly. 

The  doctor  thrust  out  his  lower  lip  with  im- 
portance, wrinkled  his  forehead,  and  felt  the 
pulse  of  the  sick  man. 


220  In  Vain 

"What  do  you  think?"  inquired  Augus- 
tinovich. 

"Well,  what?  I  think  nothing  —  he  is  ill, 
very  ill." 

A  shade  of  irony  passed  over  Augustino- 
vich's  face. 

"  But  I  think,  professor,  that  medicine  is  a 
very  dull  child  which  believes  that  if  it  takes 
its  heels  in  its  hands  it  can  lift  itself.  Is  this 
not  the  case?" 

The  doctor  nodded  a  couple  of  times,  pre- 
scribed some  cooling  medicine,  and  went  out. 
Augustinovich,  looking  at  the  prescription, 
shook  his  head  in  his  turn,  shrugged  his 
shoulders,  and  sat  at  the  bed. 

Meanwhile  the  patient  grew  worse  toward 
evening,  about  midnight  he  was  almost  dying. 
Augustinovich  wept  like  a  child  and  knocked 
himself  against  the  walls  of  the  chamber.  He 
sat  up  again  through  the  whole  night. 

Toward  morning  it  seemed  to  him  that  he 
noticed  a  slight  improvement,  but  that  im- 
provement was  deceptive.  Pale  and  red  spots 
appeared  on  the  sick  man ;  evidently  he  had 
burnt  out  in  fever  and  was  quenching. 

In  the  evening  Pani  Visberg  came.  Augus- 
tinovich would  not  admit  her  to  the  room. 
From  his  face  she  learned  that  something  ter- 
rible must  be  happening. 


In  Vain  221 

"  Is  he  alive?  "  cried  she. 

"  He  is  dying !  "  answered  Augustinovich, 
briefly. 

A  few  hours  later  the  chaplain  of  the  hos- 
pital anointed  Yosef.  Augustinovich  had  not 
strength  to  be  present  at  the  ceremony ;  he  ran 
out  into  the  city. 

He  needed  to  collect  his  thoughts,  he  needed 
to  draw  breath ;  he  felt  that  his  thoughts  were 
beginning  to  grow  dim  —  very  likely  the  loss 
of  Yosef  would  destroy  his  balance.  He  had 
expected  everything,  but  not  that  Yosef  would 
die. 

He  did  not  know  himself  whither  he  was 
hurrying;  a  number  of  times  he  halted  as  if  in 
fear  that  he  would  return  too  late. 

All  at  once  some  thought  flashed  through  his 
head ;  he  noticed  that  he  was  standing  before 
Helena's  lodgings. 

41  I  will  go  in.  Let  her  take  farewell  of 
him !  " 

Half  an  hour  later  Helena  was  kneeling  at 
Yosef 's  bed.  Her  unbound  hair  was  lying  in 
broad  tresses  on  the  bed ;  she  was  embracing 
the  sick  man's  feet  with  her  hands,  her  face 
resting  on  them. 

In  that  room  of  the  hospital  reigned  a  silence 
of  the  grave ;  nothing  was  heard  but  the  quick 
broken  breath  of  Yosef. 


222  In  Vain 

So  passed  the  long,  cursed  night,  every 
moment  of  which  seemed  the  last  one  for 
Yosef.  Finally,  on  the  thirteenth  day  from  the 
first  the  disease  was  vanquished.  Yosef  was 
decidedly  better. 

At  his  bed  sat,  without  leaving  it,  Augustino- 
vich  and  Helena;  the  latter  seemed  to  forget 
the  world  at  that  bed.  With  Yosef 's  life  life 
returned  to  Helena  also.  She  was  delighted 
to  ecstasy  with  even  the  smallest  proof  of  im- 
provement. 

At  last  Yosef  regained  consciousness. 

Augustinovich  was  not  present  at  that  mo- 
ment; the  first  person  whom  he  saw  was 
Helena. 

The  sick  man  looked  at  her  for  a  moment; 
on  his  forehead  a  certain  working  of  thought 
became  evident. 

At  last  he  recalled  her  to  mind.  He  smiled. 
Evidently  the  smile  was  forced;  still  Helena 
threw  herself  on  her  knees  with  tears  of 
delight. 

But  Augustinovich  when  he  returned  noticed 
that  her  presence  disquieted  the  sick  man  and 
even  tortured  him.  Yosef  did  not  take  his 
eyes  from  Helena  for  an  instant;  he  followed 
every  movement  of  hers. 

With  that  inane  gesticulation  peculiar  to  old 
or  to  sick  people  he  moved  his  lips. 


In  Vain  223 

Augustinovich  followed  Yosef  *s  eyes  care- 
fully.    He  had  a  foreboding  of  evil. 

Meanwhile,  as  usual,  toward  evening  the 
fever  increased ;  still  the  sick  man  fell  asleep. 
Augustinovich  strove  to  persuade  Helena  to  go 
home  for  rest. 

"  I  will  not  leave  him  for  a  moment,"  an- 
swered she,  with  what  for  her  was  uncommon 
decision. 

Augustinovich  took  his  seat  in  the  armchair 
in  silence  and  meditated  deeply ;  soon  his  head 
began  to  weigh  on  him,  his  lids  became  leaden, 
an  invincible  drowsiness  seized  him  with  in- 
creasing force,  his  head  dropped  on  his  breast, 
he  nodded  to  the  right,  to  the  left,  and  fell 
asleep. 

After  a  while  he  woke  again. 

"Is  he  sleeping?"  inquired  he,  looking  at 
Yosef. 

"  He  is  sleeping,  but  unquietly,"  answered 
Helena. 

Augustinovich  again  dropped  his  head. 
Suddenly  a  shriek  from   Helena  roused  him. 

The  sick  man  was  sitting  up  in  bed  in  a 
paroxysm  of  malignant  fever;  his  face  was 
burning,  his  eyes  glittering  like  those  of  a 
wolf;  his  emaciated  hand  was  extended  to- 
ward Helena. 


224  In  Vain 

"  What  is  this !  "  cried  Augustinovich. 

Helena  seized  him  convulsively  by  the  hands ; 
she  felt  that  his  whole  body  trembled. 

"  Do  not  torture  me !  "  whispered  the  sick 
man,  with  a  hoarse,  broken  voice.  "  Thou  hast 
killed  Gustav,  and  now  thou  wouldst  kill  me. 
Away!     I  do  not  love  thee!     Be  off!" 

Again  he  fell  on  the  bed. 

"  Lula,  my  Lula,  save  me  !  "  whispered  Yosef. 

Augustinovich  almost  by  force  conducted 
Helena  from  the  chamber.  In  the  corridor 
was  heard  for  a  while  quick  conversation,  and 
the  name  of  the  countess  was  repeated.  At 
last  Augustinovich  returned  alone. 

He  was  pale,  great  drops  of  sweat  were  flow- 
ing down  his  forehead. 

"  Everything  is  ended  now,"  said  he,  in  a 
whisper. 

Helena  ran  driven  by  despair.  Yosef 's 
words  and  the  brief  conversation  with  Augus- 
tinovich had  cleared  as  with  a  bloody  lightning- 
flash  many  circumstances  which  had  been  dark 
to  her.  She  ran  with  the  single  object  of  going 
straight  forward.  Her  thoughts  were  burning 
her  like  fire,  or  rather  they  were  thoughts  no 
longer,  they  were  a  circle  of  fire  sparks  driven 
around  madly  by  a  whirlwind. 


In  Vain  225 

The  city  in  that  evening  hour  was  lighted 
with  a  thousand  lamps,  calm  domestic  fires 
looked  through  the  clear  windows  at  her.  She 
ran  on.  Through  the  streets  throngs  of  people 
flowed  forward  as  usual;  some  passers-by 
turned  around  to  gaze  at  her;  one  young 
man  said  something  with  a  smile,  but  looking 
her  in  the  eyes  he  drew  back  in  fright.  She 
ran  on.  At  last  instead  of  streets  there  were 
alleys,  next  alleys  which  were  emptier  and 
darker.  In  the  windows  lights  were  evident 
no  longer ;  there  the  wearied  population  were 
sleeping  after  the  toil  of  the  day;  in  a  rare 
place  a  lamp  gleamed,  or  the  echoes  of  a  foot- 
step were  heard. 

The  night  was  damp,  but  calm ;  a  kind  of 
weight  oppressive  to  the  spirit  was  hanging  in 
the  atmosphere.  From  the  Dnieper  came  a 
harsh  breeze;  a  watery  mist  left  drops  on 
Helena's  clothing  and  hair.  On,  on  she  ran. 
Nervous  spasms  distorted  her  face.  In  spite 
of  the  coolness  it  seemed  to  her  that  fire  from 
heaven  was  falling  on  her  head,  her  hands, 
and  her  breast.  Those  little  fires  seemed 
to  dance  and  whirl  about  her,  and  in  each 
one  of  them  she  saw  the  face  now  of  Yosef, 
now  of  Gustav.  Her  cape  had  fallen  off,  the 
wind  had  torn  her  hat  away,  dampness  un- 
15 


226  In  Vain 

bound  her  hair.  She  fell  to  the  earth  a  num- 
ber of  times.  Soon  amid  night  and  emptiness 
she  found  herself  alone.  Only  the  distant 
noise  of  the  city  and  the  barking  of  dogs  in 
that  part  through  which  she  was  hastening 
pursued  her.     She  ran  ever  forward. 

She  felt  neither  torture  nor  pain.  All  her 
thoughts  rushed  to  one  centre;  that  was  her 
misfortune.  When  love  takes  a  part  of  one's 
life,  it  pays  with  disappointment;  for  Helena 
love  had  been  everything.  Existence  for  her 
had  ceased  now  to  have  sense.  The  charm 
was  broken.  There  was  no  forgiveness  for 
that  woman,  though  she  had  "  loved  much ;  " 
there  could  be  only  peace,  not  in  life,  but 
beyond  it. 

Meanwhile  she  ran  forward,  but  strength  was 
deserting  her.  Her  lips  had  grown  parched, 
her  eyes  were  now  dim,  her  clothing  wet  and 
bespattered  with  mud.  She  fell  oftener  and 
oftener;  sometimes  she  turned  her  face  to 
the  sky,  seizing  the  air  greedily.  The  ground 
on  which  she  was  running  became  wetter  and 
wetter.  From  afar  could  be  heard  now  the 
sobbing  of  the  wave,  and  that  marvellous  con- 
verse of  water,  half  fitful,  half  gloomy. 

At  the  brink  Helena  halted  a  moment. 

Closing  her  eyes  on  a  sudden  and  stretching 


In  Vain  227 

her  hands  out  before  her,  the  woman  rushed 
forward. 

With  the  plash  in  the  river  was  heard  a 
short  scream,  stopped  by  the  water,  —  her  last 
scream. 

Then  followed  silence.  Deep  night  was  in 
the  sky. 


228  In  Vain 


CHAPTER  XXII 

"  Everything  is  marvellously  involved  in  this 
poor  world,"  said  the  ancient  poet.  This  is 
certain,  that  more  than  once  life  becomes  so 
involved  that  it  is  only  to  be  cut  like  that 
Gordian  knot  of  old.     So  was  it  with  Yosef. 

A  few  years  before  he  had  come  to  Kieff 
full  of  confidence  in  his  own  strength.  It  had 
seemed  to  him  that  he  could  push  forward  not 
only  his  own  fate,  but  that  of  others  in  a  way 
chosen  in  advance.  Meanwhile  he  had  con- 
vinced himself  that  in  a  short  time  he  had  lost 
the  rudder  even  of  his  own  boat.  He  had  been 
left  to  rush  and  save  himself  if  he  wished,  but 
he  had  to  sail  with  the  wind,  and  therewith  he 
had  little  happiness  in  life.  In  his  case,  as  in 
that  of  all  men,  life,  or  rather  the  excess  of  that 
seething  of  youthful  years,  had  to  pour  out  in 
the  single  but  very  narrow  direction  of  love 
for  woman.  There  was  little  space  between 
the  banks;  hence  the  stream  flowed  too  vio- 
lently, so  that  in  all  Yosefs  past  there  were 
barely   a  few  peaceful  moments.     He  lacked 


In  Vain  229 

little  of  paying  with  his  life  for  the  past,  and 
God  knows  there  was  nothing  to  pay  for. 
After  the  last  incident  with  Helena  the  danger 
might  be  renewed.  Augustinovich  feared  re- 
lapse ;  happily  his  fears  were  not  justified. 

Yosef  improved  continually.  It  was  diffi- 
cult to  foresee  how  long  he  would  have  to  lie 
in  bed  yet;  his  weakness  after  the  grievous 
illness  was  very  great,  but  his  return  to  health 
was  assured. 

Augustinovich  shortened  the  long  hospital 
hours  to  the  best  of  his  power  and  ability,  but 
vain  were  his  efforts  to  win  back  the  old-time 
humor.  Recent  events  had  made  him  sedate 
and  sparing  of  words.  He  had  lost  many  of 
his  old  habits.  From  the  time  of  Yosef's  ill- 
ness he  had  not  visited  Pani  Visberg  even 
once,  though  she  came  rather  often  to  inquire 
for  Yosef's  health. 

But  if  in  this  way  events  of  recent  days  had 
acted  on  Augustinovich,  how  much  more  had 
they  acted  on  Yosef!  Out  of  his  long  illness 
he  rose  a  new  man  altogether.  He  had  no 
longer  that  lively,  active,  unbending  tempera- 
ment. In  his  movements  there  was  slowness, 
in  his  look  heaviness,  and  as  it  were  indolence. 

Augustinovich  attributed  this,  and  justly,  to 
the  weakness  unavoidable  after  such  an  illness, 


230  In  Vain 

but  soon  he  noticed  in  the  sick  man  other 
things  foreign  to  him  before.  A  certain  mar- 
vellous indifference  approaching  apathy  broke 
through  his  words.  He  began  to  look  at  the 
world  again,  but  in  a  manner  entirely  different 
from  that  in  which  he  had  looked  at  it  earlier. 
He  seemed  to  be  capable  of  no  vivacious  feel- 
ing. It  was  disagreeable  to  look  at  him ;  these 
changes  had  touched  not  merely  his  moral  side, 
he  had  changed  physically  also.  His  hair  had 
grown  thin,  his  face  was  white  and  emaciated, 
his  eyes  had  a  sleepy  look,  he  had  lost  his 
former  brightness.  Lying  whole  days  without 
movement,  he  looked  for  hours  together  at 
one  point  in  the  ceiling,  or  slept.  The  pres- 
ence of  any  one  did  not  seem  to  concern  him. 

All  this  alarmed  Augustinovich,  especially 
when  he  considered  that  in  spite  of  the  speedy 
return  of  physical  strength  these  symptoms,  if 
they  yielded,  yielded  very  slowly.  He  sighed 
when  he  remembered  the  former  Yosef,  and 
he  labored  to  rouse  the  present  one,  but  the 
labor  was  difficult. 

A  certain  time  Augustinovich,  sitting  by  the 
bed  of  the  sick  man,  read  aloud  to  him.  Yosef 
was  lying  on  his  back ;  according  to  habit  he 
was  looking  at  the  ceiling.  Evidently  he  was 
thinking  of  something  else,  or  was  thinking  of 


In  Vain  231 

nothing,  for  after  a  certain  time  annoyance 
was  expressed  on  his  face.  Augustinovich 
stopped  reading. 

"  Dost  wish  to  sleep?  " 

"  No,  but  the  book  wearies  me." 

Augustinovich  was  reading  "  Dame  aux 
Camelias." 

"  Still,  there  is  life  and  truth  here." 

"  Yes,  but  there  is  not  judgment  to  the  value 
of  a  copper." 

"  Still,  the  book  raises  the  question  of  such 
women !  " 

"  But  whom  do  such  women  concern?" 

"  They  once  concerned  thee." 

Yosef  said  nothing;  on  his  face  a  slight 
thoughtfulness  was  evident. 

After  a  time  he  asked,  — 

"  What  is  happening  with  Helena?  Has  she 
been  here?" 

Augustinovich  was  confused. 

"  She  has  been  here,  she  has  been  here." 

"Well,  and  now?" 

"  That  is  —  yes  —  she  is  sick,  very  sick." 

Yosef's  face  continued  indifferent. 

"What  is  the  matter  with  her?"  asked  he, 
leisurely. 

"  With  her  ?  —  She  —  Well,  I  will  tell  thee 
the  truth,  only  be  not  frightened." 


232  In  Vain 

"Well?" 

"  Helena  is  no  longer  alive  —  she  was 
drowned." 

Some  sort  of  indefinite  impression  shot  over 
Yosef 's  face;  he  made  an  effort  as  if  to  rise  in 
the  bed,  but  after  a  while  he  dropped  his  head 
on  the  pillow. 

"By  accident  or  design?"  asked  he. 

"Rest,  old  man,  rest;  it  is  not  permitted 
thee  to  talk  much.  Later  I  will  tell  every- 
thing." 

Yosef  turned  to  the  wall  and  sank  into 
silence.  At  that  moment  a  servant  of  the 
hospital  entered. 

"  Pani  Visberg  wishes  to  see  you,"  said  he 
to  Augustinovich. 

Augustinovich  went  out;  in  the  corridor 
Pani  Visberg  was  waiting. 

"What  has  happened?"  inquired  he,  with 
concern.     "  Is  some  one  sick?" 

"No,  no!" 

"What  then?" 

"  Lula  has  gone  away !  "  said  Pani  Visberg, 
in  a  sad  voice. 

"  Long  ago?" 

"  Yesterday  evening.  I  should  have  come 
here  at  once,  for  during  the  whole  week  I  had 
not   heard  from  Yosef,  but  Malinka   was   so 


In  Vain  233 

afflicted,  and  had  cried  so  much  that  I  could 
not  let  her  come.  Lula  has  gone,  she  has 
gone ! " 

"Why  did  she  go?" 

"It  is  difficult  to  tell.  Maybe  two  weeks 
from  the  time  that  Yosef  fell  ill,  Pelski  came 
again,  and  soon  after  proposed  to  her  a  second 
time.  She  experienced  no  small  suffering  from 
that,  for  evidently  the  little  man  had  become 
attached  to  her  seriously.  Still  she  refused 
him,  giving  as  cause  that  she  could  not  marry 
without  attachment.  I  liked  that  Pelski  well 
enough.  But  that  is  not  the  point !  The 
honest  girl  refused  him,  naturally.  How  much 
she  suffered  during  Yosef  s  sickness !  But 
that  again  is  not  the  point.  She  and  Pelski 
parted  without  anger,  and  he  undoubtedly 
found  her  that  place  in  Odessa.  Imagine  to 
yourself  my  astonishment  when  a  few  days  ago 
she  came  to  me  and  declared  that  Yosef 's  ill- 
ness was  all  that  had  delayed  her  departure, 
that  now,  when  he  was  better,  she  would  not  be 
a  burden  on  me  longer,  that  she  wanted  to 
work  for  a  morsel  of  bread,  and  would  go. 
But,  my  God  !  was  she  a  burden  to  me?  Ma- 
linka  became  educated  and  acquired  polish  in 
her  society ;  besides,  I  loved  her." 

Augustinovich  thought  awhile;  only  after 
long  silence  did  he  say,  — 


234  In  Vain 

"  No,  kind  lady !  I  understand  Lula.  When 
she  took  lodgings  with  you  she  was  a  spoiled 
and  capricious  young  girl,  who  thought  that 
you  were  receiving  her  for  her  coronet,  and 
to  be  honored  yourself;  to-day  she  is  quite 
different." 

"  Do  I  reproach  her  with  anything?  "  asked 
Pani  Visberg. 

"  That  is  not  a  question.  I  understand  how 
bitter  it  must  have  been  for  you  and  your 
daughter  to  part  with  her,  and  it  is  too  bad 
that  you  did  not  let  me  know  of  this  before. 
The  person  whom  Yosef  was  to  marry  is  no 
longer  alive." 

"  No  longer  alive?" 

"  She  is  not.  But  except  pain  for  you,  this 
departure  will  cause  no  harm.  Yosef  has  not 
passed  examination  for  his  medical  degree  ;  he 
must  think  of  that  first  of  all,  for  it  is  his  bread. 
When  he  recovers  and  assures  a  sustenance 
for  himself,  he  will  go  to  Odessa  after  her,  but 
for  that  time  is  needed.  Yosef  has  changed 
very  much.  It  is  no  harm  that  Lula  has  done 
everything  that  can  raise  her  still  more  in  his 
esteem." 

Pani  Visberg  went  away  with  a  straitened 
heart.  Augustinovich  stood  awhile  on  one 
spot,  then  he  shook  himself  from  his  medita- 
tion and  took  on  a  gloomy  look. 


In  Vain  235 

"  She  has  rejected  Pelski  a  second  time," 
thought  he ;  "  she  wants  to  work  for  her  living ! 
Oh,  Yosef,  Yosef !  even  to  go  through  greater 
suffering  than  thine  —  " 

He  did  not  finish  the  thought  which  he  had 
begun;  he  waved  his  hand,  and  went  to  the 
chamber. 

"What  did  Pani  Visberg  want?"  asked 
Yosef,  with  an  apathetic  voice. 

"Lula  has  gone  to  Odessa,"  answered 
Augustinovich,  abruptly. 

Yosef  closed  his  eyes  and  remained  motion- 
less a  long  time,     At  last  he  said,  — 

"  It  is  a  pity !  That  was  a  good  girl  — 
Lula." 

Augustinovich  gritted  his  teeth  and  made  no 
answer. 

The  time  came  at  last  when  Yosef  left  the 
hospital,  and  a  month  later  he  passed  his 
examination  as  doctor  of  medicine.  It  was 
a  clear  autumnal  day.  The  two  friends,  with 
their  diplomas  in  their  pockets,  were  returning 
to  the  house.  Yosef 's  face  bore  on  it  yet  the 
marks  of  disease,  but  otherwise  he  was  per- 
fectly healthy.  Augustinovich  walked  arm  in 
arm  with  him ;  along  the  road  they  talked  of 
the  past. 


236  In  Vain 

"Let  us  sit  here  on  this  bench,"  said  Augus- 
tinovich  when  they  entered  the  garden.  "  It 
is  a  beautiful  day,  I  like  to  warm  myself  in  the 
sun  on  such  a  day." 

They  sat  down.  Augustinovich  stretched 
himself  comfortably,  drew  a  long  breath,  and 
said  with  gladsome  feeling,  — 

"  Well,  old  man !  we  ought  to  have  had  in 
our  pockets  for  the  last  three  months  these 
wretched  rolls  which  we  have  received  only 
to-day." 

"  True,"  replied  Yosef,  pushing  away  with 
his  cane  a  few  yellow  leaves  that  were  lying  at 
the  side  of  the  bench. 

"  The  leaves  are  falling  from  the  trees,  and 
the  birds  are  moving  southward,"  said  Augus- 
tinovich. Then  lowering  his  voice  and  pointing 
to  a  flock  of  wagtails  flying  above  the  trees,  he 
added, — 

"  But  wilt  thou  not  go  south  after  the 
couriers  of  the  sun?" 

"I?     Whither?" 

"  To  the  Black  Sea  — ■  to  Odessa." 

Yosef  bent,  and  remained  silent  for  a  long 
time,  then  he  raised  his  head ;  on  his  face  was 
depicted  something  almost  like  despair. 

"  I  love  her  no  longer,  Adam !  "  whispered 
he. 


In  Vain 


237 


On  the  evening  of  that  day  Augustinovich 
said  to  Yosef,  — 

"  We  put  too  much  energy  into  chasing  after 
woman's  love;  later  on  that  love  flies  away 
like  a  bird,  and  our  energy  is  wasted." 


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